What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

It's Friday: time to think about YOUR Happiness Project. This week: Invent a tradition. Like a holiday breakfast.

ValentinebkfstI’m working on my Happiness Project, and you should have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

My resolutions include Be a treasure house of happy memories and Take time for projects. As part of these resolutions, I’ve done a lot of thinking about family traditions.

Traditions make occasions feel special and exciting. They mark the passage of time in a happy way. They provide a sense of anticipation, security and continuity.

Studies show that family traditions support children’s social development and strengthen family cohesiveness. They provide the connection and predictability that people crave. I know that I enjoy a holiday more when I know exactly what we’re going to do, and when we’re going to do it.

At the same time, most traditions (other than the tradition of ordering a pizza during the Super Bowl) involve a fair amount of trouble and are potential source of guilt if they aren’t maintained: the expectation of special decorations, special food, a special sequence of events, and participation by the whole family.

So a good happiness-project assignment is: Think about your traditions. Could you make them more meaningful, fun, or painless? Also, you don’t need to wait for traditions to emerge spontaneously. A “new tradition” may be a bit of an oxymoron, but that shouldn’t stop you from inventing a great tradition.

A friend of mine has a great new tradition.

Because of her family’s schedules, they have a tough time eating dinner together. So now she organizes holiday breakfasts.

I happened to stop by her house yesterday, and I saw how she’d set the table for the Valentine’s Day breakfast. Nothing too elaborate, but very decorated and fun – heart-shaped placemats, some candy, sticky-pads in the shape of hearts, love notes, etc.

I think this is a FANTASTIC idea. Festive, easy to set the table the night before, easy to schedule, and just the kind of observation that kids love. Or adults, for that matter. The Big Man would have been very enthusiastic about a Valentine’s Day breakfast even before we had children.

This reminded me of my Eighth Commandment to “Identify the problem.” My friend didn’t waste time fretting because she couldn’t get everyone together for dinner; instead she came up with an excellent solution.

“I’m copying you, one hundred percent,” I told her. “Valentine’s, Halloween, Fourth of July – holiday breakfasts from now on!”

So…any ideas for how to do a President’s Day breakfast? I may have to wait for a slightly more colorful holiday to inaugurate my new copy-cat tradition.

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On his blog Practical Personal Development, Alex Shalman is running a series of fascinating interviews by different bloggers on the nature of happiness -- and the title of this series is…The Happiness Project! (No relation.) He was kind enough to interview me about happiness. Lots of interesting commentary by great bloggers.

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New to the Happiness Project? Consider subscribing to my RSS feed: Subscribe to this blog's feed. Or sign up to get email updates in the box at the top righthand corner.
If you're starting your own happiness project, please join the Happiness Project Group on Facebook to swap ideas. It's easy; it's free.


Comments

Presidents' Day Breakfast? Decorate with money. ;-)

My mom used to do the traditional President's Day cherry pie (Washington's Birthday dinner: Roast Beef, Yorkshire pudding, Cherry pie), so maybe you could do something with cherry-based pastry?

You could have plates with trees (unchopped down by Washington) and cherry-based pastry. Or for a combo Lincoln/black history month, you could do something with stars (Underground Railroad follow the north star type thing).

Just some random ideas...

Hey, St. Patricks Day is coming soon!

Sarah - and Gretchen - I love this idea! What a good thing, to commemorate President's Day with something other than car and furniture sales.

I'll be learning to make potato farls for St. Patrick's Day (yummy Irish pan-fried potato break - impossible to get in bakeries here).

Thank you for the mention Gretchen, I really appreciate it! ;)

Red, white and blue/stars and stripes -- you can use the same stuff on the fourth of July. Add shiny copper pennies with Lincoln and quarters with Washington, hatchets and log cabins? I like the cherry ideas for sure.

When my kids were smaller our traditional Spring Equinox breakfast (as pagans, we don't celebrate Easter) was creamed eggs on toast...easy as sin to make and uses some of those colored, hard boiled eggs that are already on hand. My daughter now makes it for her daughter on Easter, as my granddaughter understands Easter more readily than the equinox.

We've started (or continued) many family traditions with our children. One of their favorites is our night time egg hunt for Easter. We hide eggs just after dark and the kids use their flashlights to find them - which takes a lot longer than the traditional daylight hunt! The boys love it!

We have a friday afternoon tradition -- happy hour! Miss J. gets juice, Mom and Dad get "juice", and we just hang out for 30 minutes before dinner...

Extremely simple, eagerly anticipated by Miss J since she doesn't get juice that often, and a good way to transition to the weekend...

I traditions. The everyday, mundane ones the better!

My husband gave me an awesome Mexican cookbook for my birthday a few months ago. On a whim we decided to cook something new out of it once a week. As a result, "Mexican Monday" was born.

And what a fabulous weekly meal it's turned into. My dad comes over (with a six-pack of Mexican beer) and the three of us have a relaxing meal together.

Last year, I decided to make March a celebration of minor silly holidays. On March 15 (3.15) we celebrate PI day by having pie. For St. Patrick's Day, I buy Lucky Charms (a huge treat for my kids who rarely get sugary cereal)and dye the milk green. And this year, we will be celebrating Feb. 29 (Leap Day) by leaping (we'll see how that one goes). I'm still trying to figure out what to do for April Fools. Last year, I poured my daughter's cereal and milk the night before and then froze it. In the morning, I added a fresh layer of cereal and milk and then watched as she tried to eat it.

Lol... Cat is completely evil towards his daughter... that's pretty funny though!

What a great reading, Just found your blog from blog search. I was searching for people looking for happiness.

I just recently start a new blog and hoping to make it the happiest blog in the world. I believe a smile will influence others. So I have a little happiness project called Smiles That Made My day at wwww.smilemyday.com.

I am hoping to collect more happy photos and stories about the characters. Will subscribe to your feed and join the project.

Thanks!

Terence Chang

Silver dollar pancakes with cherry topping.

And then have soemone (the kids?) read the last paragraphs from one or both of Lincoln's Inaugural Addresses. They're short, but easily read and very powerful.

Using phrases like "the mystic chords of memory", "the better angels of our nature", and "with malice toward none", Lincoln demonstrated how the president can set the tone and moral direction of the nation with sincere, authentic, and emotional words instead of pandering to the pettiness and anger and divisiveness that is natural to such a diverse people as Americans.

I think President's Day could be a very honorable way to begin a tradition.

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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