It’s Friday: time to think about YOUR Happiness Project. This week: Set a target.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you should have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

One thing I’ve really noticed as I’ve done my Happiness Project is that when I want to make a change, it really helps to set a target.

We all have a lot of vague resolutions rattling around in our brains – “I want to make some new friends/exercise more/spend more time reading/keep the house tidier/stop nagging” – but the trick is to figure out how to KEEP those resolutions.

Setting a target helps in several ways:
 Targets make a vague goal concrete
 Targets provide accountability – it’s easy to judge whether you hit your goal, or not
 Reviewing your target keeps your resolution fresh and vivid in your mind

Any resolution can be translated into a target.

For example, targets for “eat healthier” could be: eat one meal a day made up only of fruits and vegetables; eat three kinds of vegetables a day; at the grocery store, for every package of crackers/cookies/chips, buy a bag of fruits or vegetables.

Targets for keeping the house tidier could be: before bed, spend 10 minutes tidying up; hang up my coat every time I walk in the apartment; make my bed every morning. The first goal in the delightful Flylady’s system is to “Shine your sink” EVERY day.

It’s true that targets are easier to set when the goals involve very concrete actions. Targets can be harder to devise for goals relating to attitude and behavior – being more polite, staying calm, practicing loving-kindness. But it can be done.

I had a lot of success with my target to make three friends in every new situation. Setting a target for friendship could seem forced and inauthentic, but in fact, it has helped me act friendlier and, yes, make more friends.

In fact, one of the most useful aspects of setting a target is that it forces you to imagine how you’ll translate your desire for high-minded change into action in the real world.

I asked some friends if they’d ever set a target for themselves.

One friend set the target of remaining Blackberry-free between 7:00-9:00, so that he wouldn’t be distracted while he was with his kids.

Another friend has a sister going through a rough period, so she set a target of calling or emailing her sister once each day.

Another friend has a tendency to over-spend, so she doesn’t allow herself to use a credit card for anything that costs less than $300. That way, she cut down on the “minor” purchases that were adding up to a major expenditure by the end of each month.

If you’re vowing to make a change in your life, figure out a way to set a target for yourself – a concrete, measurable, and manageable target. It’s surprisingly effective.

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Via Gimundo, I found a story that will make a lot of people (mostly men) very happy: scientists may have discovered the genetic cause of balding -- which may then make it possible to stop the balding process.
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Comments

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Thank you

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Thanks

[Annie Turner]

Can you give me some suggestions on how to start my Happiness Project? My Happiness Project can be me & my best friend starting at home business online. We got it setup but we got too many negative thoughts going through our heads. How do we turn the negative into the positive so we can start making money.
We would like to take trip to Vashon, Washington State to visit my friends cousin she has never met & we're want to drive from NYS because neither one of us like flying.
So, I'm open for suggestions because I want this Happiness Project to come true.

[Judi Hale]

Read this on the www.WalkTheTalk.com Fits right in with your thinking on happiness, Gretchen.

Excerpted from The Richest Man in Town:
Chapter Titled The Source of Happiness:
At times Marty made it sound too easy. On a visit to his home I heard him say, “People need to decide to be happy.”
I pressed him. “What do you mean by that?”
His face took on an incredulous look. “You have to ask me?”
At that moment I felt a little foolish. Complex human problems, at least to me, often prevent people from being happy. To Marty it was a matter of common sense. I wondered, what was I missing?
“C’mon, Marty,” I said, “do you really think people can actually decide to be happy?”
“Who makes decisions for you?” Marty asked me. “All my life I’ve watched people waiting for someone else to make them happy. The way I got it figured, the only one who can make you happy is you.”
As I considered his point, my mind began to wander. Strangely, I thought of an old “Peanuts” cartoon–the one in which Lucy asked Charlie Brown, “Why do you think we were put on earth?”
Charlie Brown answered, “To make others happy.”
“I don’t think I’m making anyone happy,” Lucy replied, “but nobody’s making me very happy either.” Then Lucy screamed out, “Somebody’s not doing his job!”
I smiled at that moment, thinking Marty had something in common with Charles Schultz, the creator of the “Peanuts” cartoon. Both seemed to be saying that it was silly to expect other people to have such an influence over our lives.
That was Marty’s lesson: Only you can make you happy.