The Happiness Project: Happiness is...?

I’m working on a book, THE HAPPINESS PROJECT, a memoir of the year I spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happy--from Aristotle to Martin Seligman to Thoreau to Oprah. On this daily blog, I recount my adventures as I grapple with the challenge of being happier. THE HAPPINESS PROJECT will hit the shelves in December 2009 (Harper).

Twelve Personal Commandments

Four Splendid Truths

First: To be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
Second: One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
Third: The days are long, but the years are short. (click the link to see my one-minute movie)
Fourth: You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy.

What Started Me Thinking

"Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
“Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
“Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
Sartre: "Hell is other people."
Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Happiness is...?

Realsimplephoto More blogging!

I'm very happy to have started my gig at RealSimple.com. Check out my first few posts, in my blog called Note to Self.

One of the principles of happiness is that challenges make us happier -- they also make us frustrated and annoyed. As part of starting Note to Self, I've been struggling to deal with digital images (you may have noticed that the images on this blog have been changing size lately). At last, I think I've figured it out! Now the happiness kicks in.

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Oh, how I love Lifehacker. What a treasure trove.

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If you're starting your own happiness project, please join the Happiness Project Group on Facebook to swap ideas. It's easy; it's free.

Posted March 18, 2008

Comments

How will your new blog affect this one? Will you be posting the same things on both blogs?

Posted by: Michelle Potter | March 18, 2008 at 06:54 PM

You seem to imply that challenges are necessarily frustrating. I'm a creative problem solver and teach/practice stress management. If you really care you can teach yourself not to get frustrated just because you don't immediately understand something. It may not be worth it to you, but it can be done.

Jean Browman
http://stresstopower.com/blog
http://cheerfulmonk.com

Posted by: Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk | March 18, 2008 at 08:49 PM

Jean Browman
http://stresstopower.com/blog
http://cheerfulmonk.com

Posted by: Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk | March 18, 2008 at 08:51 PM

... a warm gun.
Bang bang, shoot shoot.

Posted by: Conny | March 19, 2008 at 07:57 AM

I agree with Jean. It seemed you were getting upset over a picture problem.

Posted by: Simple Zack | March 19, 2008 at 07:58 AM

Real Simple is how I first found this website, just last week. Happiness Project is now my home page! I love this website. It's something positive to see first thing in the morning. Now when I have spare time I spend it here, checking out your links, rather than checking out other websites filled with depressing news or angry bloggers (haha). Very glad I found this site, I enjoy it very much.

Posted by: Tanya | March 19, 2008 at 08:35 AM

I will be posting different content on both blogs -- this blog won't change.

That's a very interesting thought -- to learn to deal with a challlenge without becoming frustrated. I have a few coping mechanisms, but I've never really focused on that much. Something well worth thinking about. I suffer from frustration A LOT, and also worry about the time that I'm "wasting," so getting a grip on that would be a big boost.

Posted by: Gretchen Rubin | March 19, 2008 at 09:04 AM

I learned in an excellent course that in order to prevent frustration that we can learn not set ourselves up for failure. Start using the words "may" or "might" or "if" instead of "will" to yourself.

For example you might say something like, "If everything goes like I plan then I will have this picture posted on the blog like I want it this morning." You're leaving room for the inevitables." Just changing your wording can make a huge difference.

Also, viewing things from the big picture - the whole scheme of things- can really help.

Posted by: Jennifer | March 19, 2008 at 01:49 PM

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Gretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.