It’s Friday: time to think about YOUR Happiness Project. This week: Improve your morning.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you should have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

This week’s assignment: improve your morning.

If you start the morning in a harried, angry, or frustrated mood, it’s hard to recover your happiness -- so it’s very helpful to try to keep the first hour of your day happy and serene.

A friend of mine works full-time and has two young sons. She told me, “For a long time, our mornings were awful -- lots of crabbiness and procrastination, me yelling at everyone to hurry up. Then it hit me: I don’t get to spend that much time with my kids during the week, and a big part of that time is during the morning. I made changes so that it became good family time.”

For her, the secret was to get up earlier. She hated to lose thirty minutes of sleep, but that extra half hour made the difference between a relaxed, cheerful morning and a rushed, difficult morning.

What are some other ways to improve the morning?

The most important step actually happens the night before. Turn off the light! I’m good at putting my kids to sleep at a decent hour, but not as good about doing it for myself. It’s tempting to stay up late, to enjoy the peace and quiet, but 6:30 a.m. comes fast, and being overtired makes the morning much tougher.

Also the night before, I practice the “ten-minute tidy-up.” Before I go to bed each night (mostly), I spend ten minutes putting stuff away. It doesn’t take long, but putting away the top layer of clutter makes the morning feel more serene.

As goofy as it sounds, one of my resolutions is to “Sing in the morning.” It’s hard both to sing and to stay grouchy, and it sets a happy tone for everyone.

A friend of mine started each day in a bad mood, because she had to face such bad traffic on her way to work, until getting books-on-tape has completely transformed her day. Now she actually looks forward to being in her car.

If your morning doesn’t take you outside, try to add a little sunlight to your morning. Walk around the block before picking up the newspaper, park further away from school or work. Bright light will boost your alertness, and research suggests that light stimulates brain chemicals that improve mood. Sunlight has a particularly powerful effect first thing in the morning.

What else? How else do folks keep their mornings running smoothly? It’s worth the effort to pay some attention here, because the morning sets the tone for the whole day – for everyone.

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Gimundo reports -- Who knew? Denmark is the happiest place on earth. I'm a bit skeptical of this study, but it's very interesting to read about.

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Comments

[jjenny]

I definitely vouch for the books on tape/cd. I get them from the library and I'm currently loving the second in the series of the No 1 Ladies Detective Agency. Wonderful. The library has an enormous selection. I get to work with dreams of Botswana, instead of hatred for a silly lady on a cellphone.

[Solomon Broad]

I never used to be a morning person, until a couple of months ago when my job required that I start work at 8AM, which meant me getting up at 6.

I find having a routine of things in the morning helpful. The alarm goes off at 5:45, and I sleep in until 6AM, when the alarm goes off again. I find doing this helps me wake up better, because I don't have to go from deep deep sleep to wide awake. I get myself out of bed, no matter how much I may not feel like it, and go and get some cereals - another morning ritual.

I sit at the PC (the light from the monitor helps me wake up - that's my story and I'm sticking to it) and read my daily websites while I try to remember how to feed myself.

Then, I jump in the shower. I cannot stress enough how much having a hot shower in the morning sets me up for the day. I am simply not human until I've had it. I find it very restoring.

When I'm out of the shower, I go and sit back at the PC again, and prepare my daily blog post. Again, blogging every day like this really helps me feel better. 20 minutes later, I get dressed for work, and leave the house.

I can very easily stay up until 3AM on the internet. Insomnia used to be a big problem for me, until I started dragging myself out of bed at the same time every morning. My brain soon adjusted. :)

[Avani]

Getting everything that I need next morning ready tonight makes mornings great. Waking up and trying to find stuff and pack bags and iron out clothes can really mess up a morning.

[Michelle Potter]

I am NOT a morning person. I wake up as my husband is walking out the door (around 8:15), and sit at my computer in a haze, directing the children to do whatever they must. It always seems like lunch comes before I know it, which is bad for me because with 3 children who still nap I can't do as much in the afternoon (no leaving the house).

It's definitely something I need to work on.

[Evan]

I don't have kids so it's a lot easier for me.

I have a routine of doing the important business stuff for my blog while I drink my coffee. Don't have to deal with people much.

A nice gentle start to the day. It is good for me.

[LP]

My number-one morning pick-me-up is music on the commute (my ipod revolutionized this for me, since I hate talk radio). My number-two tip, used especially when I know in advance I'm not going to want to go to work in the morning, is to lay out clothes, shoes, accessories, etc. the night before. Not having to make these kinds of unmanageable decisions first thing in the morning improves my mood very much.

[Noa Rose]

I roll out of bed and onto my yoga mat to do some gentle stretches before working up to the more difficult poses. Just twenty minutes and I'm on my way to a better day. I don't always want to do it, but I always feel better afterwards and ready to face the day.

[Karyn]

I don't have children, so I have a lot of advantages in the morning. I used to have panic attacks about going to work, so I've come-up with a few strategies that seem to help.

A lot of it starts the night before. I review my calendar when I get home to remind myself of appointments for the next day. I get my lunch ready, or if I'm planning to go out for lunch, I make sure there is money in my wallet. I also make sure the cellphone is charged/charging. If there's something I need to bring to the office from home, I make sure it is in my briefcase. This usually takes about 15 or 20 minutes.

After that, I don't do anything work-related for the rest of the night. My partner and I follow "The 10-minute rule." We each get 10 minutes a night to kvetch about our day. After 10 minutes, the listener can cut the kvetcher off and end the discussion.

I follow the two-alarm rule in the morning, like Solomon posted earlier. Then coffee and computer time. I like reading this blog in the morning for tips and inspiration. I check work email before I leave the house so I have a heads-up on the day ahead of me. To ease any anxiety I feel, I journal a bit before heading to the shower.

I decide what I'm going to wear to work while I'm in the shower. Most of my work clothes coordinate with each other so it's a lot easier to pick-out outfits each day. I listen to music I love while I'm driving to work.

Once I get to work, I try to give myself at least 5 minutes to acclimate to the work environment before I start the day. Since I've already checked messages at home, I feel like I'm productive and have accomplished something before I get there. I like having something already crossed-off my "to-do" list as I start my day.

My officemates have learned over time that rushing up to me when I walk in the door usually generates a crabby reaction from me and it is a bad way for everyone to start the day. Now they try to leave me alone until I come out into the common areas to say hello.

It doesn't always work, but it has helped me deal with my anxiety and I feel more in control of my mornings.

[adora]

I totally agree with you about cleaning up at night. I feel extra stressful when I see messes in broad daylight! Not the way to start the day.
I also find having your outfits ready can reduce the agony to have to choose in the morning. I go so far as to pairing all my outfits for the week on Sunday night.

[Leah]

No time to read other comments, so I apologize if this is repetitive. I have just a few changes I made in my life, but it makes mornings so much better:

1. pack my lunch the night ahead of time. I think much better at night than in the morning.
2. lay my clothes out the night ahead of time.
3. (this is the real key for me, more than anything else) I do NOT hit the snooze button. Before I go to bed, I tell myself "I will get up at 8." In the morning, my alarm goes off, and I wake up. sometimes, I'm even awake before my alarm. It's a great help because I no longer argue with myself in the morning or make a bad decision based on being still a little asleep; I wake up, and I have plenty of time for reading the paper, puttering around, etc before I have to leave at 9 or 9.30 for work.

I've also started waking up at the same time every day, regardless of what is going on that day. Normalizing my sleep schedule has been awesome.

One last thing that's a bit of a side point: I have started wearing a sleep mask to bed, and I feel my sleep has been much better. I like light in the morning when I wake up, so I leave my blinds open. Unfortunately, there's a street light outside my room, so I used to either sleep with light on my face all night or close my blinds and have a hard time waking up. I read a study that found that light during the night can affect your melanin levels, thereby disturbing sleep (and also disturbing the important processes that happen during sleep). I started using a sleep mask instead. It generally comes off at some point in my sleep, so I always wake up to a nice, sunny room. This also makes mornings so much better for me.

[Jan]

Just a short note on "the happiest place on earth". While the article mentioned, gets several facts wrong (our tax is 48% not 70%), Denmark has come out as #1 in several independent studies for the last 20 years.
Usually the studies find, that the main reasons are; free education (including universities), free health care, tight cooporaration between unions and employeers and, last but not least, realistic expectacions of the future.
(sorry about the spelling/grammatics).

[KCCC]

Mornings are generally smooth for us, but that's because some time ago, I spent some effort to analyze the "knots" in our mornings - all the places that got tense and rushed.

I worked out how much time we really needed in those spots, and adjusted wake up times accordingly. We set up breakfast the night before (oatmeal mixed with milk and stored in the fridge, so it only needs heating in the morning), and make lunches too.

We also set an alarm out front, to remind us to quit lolly-gagging over the paper and finish getting ready, so there's no last-minute dash.

All the changes paid off... and I do like sharing happy mornings!!

[Mary K]

My mornings are a combination of the best practices listed above (and I have two children):
1. Clothes are laid out the night before (it helps that we all wear uniforms of some sort or variation)
2. Lunches are packed the night before (all I have to do is pop the cold drink boxes in that morning and zip shut)
3. The kitchen is clean (so depressing to see a sink full of dirty dishes when all you want is a cup of hot tea)
4. The calendar is checked for any appointments that day (and dear spouse is reminded)
5. I listen to NPR and learn something new
6. Although puncutality is prized in my profession, I have found it does no good to rail at drivers side-by-side oblivious to the long line of cars behind them. I just acknowledge that I will get to work sometime that morning. I recognize that my coworkers have encountered this same phenomenon. I know they will grant me grace, the same grace I have extended and will extend to them on previous and future occasions.

[MJ]

I had a great weekday morning routine before I had my son. I used to get up at 5, go upstairs to my exercise room (which was painted my favorite color and lit by a soft white halogen lamp), and run on the treadmill for about 40 minutes while listening to my "exercise mix" on the MP3 player. My exercise mix was a lot of 80s and 90s dance music, so it was pretty energizing. :-)

Then I'd get in a good stretch, go downstairs and get my coffee (we have an automated coffeemaker, so I set it to finish the coffee at 6) and sit down with my laptop. At 6:30 I'd wake up my husband and then go take a shower while he was drinking coffee and reading his email, and get ready for work. Back then I took all my clothes to the cleaners, and everything was black or grey or went with black or grey, so getting dressed was pretty easy.

Now I have a 2-year-old who wakes up pretty much as soon as anyone else in the house is up, but partly that's because we've moved across the country and are currently living in a tiny rent house where everyone can hear what everyone else is doing. I'm glad you wrote this post, because thinking about this made me realize that a house we're considering seriously does not have a good place for the treadmill to go--at least not a place where everyone else won't wake up when I'm using it. :-)

[threegoodrats]

Putting the coffee together the night before so all I have to do is press the button in the morning!

Also, I have a 20-minute walk to work, which in itself makes my morning a little nicer because of the fresh air and exercise, but listening to music on my ipod has made it even that much more pleasant.

[Mares]

Thank you for your reassuring tips on starting the day on a happy note. I am a sole parent and work in Administration in a Catholic College. Up until last year, I was a morning grouch but followed alot of the above tips eg going to bed before 10 for a 6 start. I find reading a reflection and meditating before I snooze helps the sleep and waking pattern. Organisation the night before is also the secret key to feeling connected the next day. Listening to the international news along with music en route to work gives me a sense of self control also.