This Wednesday: My ten very idiosyncratic tips for having fun on a family vacation.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: My ten very idiosyncratic tips for having fun on a family vacation.

Was it Jerry Seinfeld who said, “There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family?”

I disagree—but I’ve hit on certain tips that do help keep things fun. I’m not sure they’re universally helpful, but they’ve helped me.

As always, the first step is to follow the Eighth Commandment, “Identify the problem.” I didn’t understand why I was so crabby until I zeroed in on my gnawing hunger. If you’re feeling crabby instead of playful, push yourself to put your finger on what’s bugging you. Just because you’re on “vacation” doesn’t mean that everything is automatically fun. Pay attention to when you’re having fun, or not, and adjust accordingly.

Everyone will have more fun when everyone is having fun, so this isn’t selfish!

1. I posted Monday about my epiphany about making sure that I don't allow myself to get too hungry. Never again will I travel without a bag of almonds, dried cherries, etc. I anticipate my next challenge will be: how do I stop myself from eating the entire bag the first day?

2. Although kids and grandparents beg, “Just this once,” “They don’t seem tired,” or “Everyone can sleep late in the morning,” I do everything humanly possible to make sure my kids get the usual amount of sleep. Also, myself. Along the same lines…

3. I recognize my kids’ limits. They are cheerful and cooperative – until we keep them at the table too long, mess with their schedules too much, let them skip putting on sunscreen, make them walk too far, let them get too hot or too cold, or make them anxious or uncomfortable. In the midst of fun, it can be hard to say, “Enough!” but it’s a key to keeping things pleasant.

4. Some people view vacation as an escape from daily burdens—in particular, exercising. No! Exercise is energizing, cheering, and promotes sleep and relaxation. Vacation is an opportunity to do more exercising, not cut it out. Recently, when I had jet lag, I noticed that exercise helped me adjust both coming and going.

5. Make time for something that’s fun for ME. The more people who are vacationing together, the more everyone needs to be accommodating. That’s as it should be—to a point. I make sure that I have time to do what I truly enjoy (i.e., lying around reading—right now, I’m reading Karen Armstrong’s Buddha.) All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and all sandcastles and tales of Harry Potter adventures, as nice as they are, makes Gretchen a dull girl.

6. At home, we go for months without opening the medicine cabinet, but in four days of vacation, we’ve used Lanacane, Neosporin, Kank-A, Advil, and Band-Aids (both regular and Hello Kitty style). I used to have long debates with myself about what we’d actually use – now I throw a tube of everything into a plastic bag, just in case.

7. I allow myself to overpack. This wouldn’t work if we were hiking or doing lots of moving around, but I finally realized that, for a short trip to one place, it’s faster and easier to overpack than to try to plan out carefully what to take. It’s a luxury just to toss in a bunch of stuff, but when I can, I do.

8. I’ve come up with a speed rule: for every person beyond the first two people, add ten minutes to the time it takes to accomplish any action; for every child, add twenty. Even just with four adults and two children, it can take forever for us to get from Point A to Point B. But that’s okay, I remind myself, this is vacation, there’s no rush! This tip takes me back to Tip 1 – I realized that one reason I was often impatient and annoyed was that I was so hungry that any delay in getting to lunch or dinner made me frantic.

9. Make peace with technology. Fact is, I have much more fun when my email and internet service are working, otherwise, I brood about it. So I made getting service a priority. Other people want to disconnect. That’s fine, too. Just know what will make for the best vcation experience for YOU.

10. Be grateful! Because of the “negativity bias,” we’re all more sensitive to negative events and thoughts than to positive ones. By mindfully focusing on feelings of gratitude, pleasure, enjoyment, and all the rest, I make sure that I have fun.

Home tomorrow!

Comments

[teri]

i think your vacation rules are right on target. different people have different views of a "fun vacation." #2 was a big one for us until i had the guts to stand up to my in-laws. i know my kids and know what will trigger nuclear meltdown. personally, i like to avoid that. :) they accuse me of "killing all the fun," but i know it would be a lot less fun with a screaming child. #5 - we try to do something that each person will really like. sometimes my "thing" is lounge around the hotel room reading books. #9 - we love our techie toys. some people give us grief for not "unplugging." sorry, we *like* being plugged in. it's fun for us. that is the fundamental rule for us....vacation should be whatever you enjoy, not what you think you *should* enjoy.

teri

[mike]

Excellent list. Related to (3), it isn't just the kids' limits. People seem sometimes to want to wring every possible ounce of travel possibilities out of vacation -- for example, they'll try to cram a visit to every museum, historical point, well-known eatery, etc. into a vacation "because who knows when we might come back again!" Don't do it. :-)

[Heidi]

I'm going to take the speed rule from #8 and tape it to my bathroom mirror! That is a very good reminder for me of how long I need to allow to get ready to get out the door!

[communicatrix]

GREAT list, and what a mitzvah, with vacation season coming on.

I have to say, I'm in the Jerry S. camp on this, but if I have to experience Family Fun, I have learned to make certain accommodations to lessen my pain.

I will share with you one hack I've created around #1, since we share this problem: bring snack you like, but do not love. Pistachios are a single-serving item, no matter what size the container. Plain walnuts? Unsalted almonds? For me, these last far, far longer.

Of course, you have to find what (doesn't) work for you!

[Jennifer]

I always have trouble with the overpacking thing. Last time I traveled, I decided not to try to overprepare as I always do. I left two pretty important things at home, but I survived.

[Meg]

Gretchen, I'm happy to see that you are on the mark with the snacks. I am a 'grazer' also and I pack small bags of them with me. I pack nuts, dried apricots, cran berries, veggies. You can't change your eating habits anymore than you change your kids sleep patterns. Obviously, its what works.

I love your city too and think you are so lucky to live in a huge city like that. The pic you put up just made me want to jump on a plane and go there. One thing that makes me happy is BIG CITY living and the bigger the better.

Love the blog,

Meg

[KCCC]

I sometimes joke that having a small child is like having a large dog... you've got to make sure they're fed, rested, and exercised or they'll be a handful.

When my son was very small and we traveled, I kept a sharp eye on the "three basics," and I think we were all happier for it. However, I slowly realized that *I* fall into the same category, and have been more mindful of those basics for myself, even when traveling alone for work. It makes a huge difference!

[MJ]

Excellent points. Years ago I had an especially tiring, not-fun trip with my Mom (to a place that should have been fabulous). The two problems were 1) we could never stop moving or seeing things in the tour book, because if we missed something the world might end (so no cafes, no strolling, no neighborhoods or shops, just a forced march to AAA-listed tourist sites) and 2) extremely insufficient food (eating took time that could be spent on the forced march, and the food and people were "foreign," and I needed to stop complaining (later found out I had undiagnosed thyroid and other issues that made the lack of food even more miserable)). Lost opportunity for a great trip, a very trying, relationship-trying, 10 days instead.