What Started Me Thinking

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

This Wednesday: 20 very easy tips for lowering your daily stress level.

StressEvery Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: 20 very easy tips for lowering your daily stress level.

When we’re stressed, we tend to become more stressed. That’s because when we’re rushed and harried, we cut corners. We don’t take the time to do the little things that, though not difficult or time-consuming themselves, can end up saving enormous amounts of time and trouble.

For example, buying stamps isn’t stressful, and buying a roll of stamps isn’t any more stressful than buying twenty stamps, but realizing that you’ve run out of stamps when you’ve waited to the last possible day to pay your bills is STRESSFUL.

And it seems to be a natural law that every car’s gas gauge hits “Empty” at the moment of maximum inconvenience.

As a kid, I was puzzled by the meaning of the old saying, “A stitch in time saves nine.”

Now I know what it means. And it’s a very sensible saying. It means that if you make one stitch when it’s needed, you’ll save yourself the trouble of having to make nine stitches later.

Similarly, one of the best ways to lower the stress level in your life is to discipline yourself to do the little things that will help keep stress at bay.

These tasks don’t seem particularly important, and they’re easy to skip when you’re rushed, but if neglected, they can snowball into major stress.

So, if you feel like your stress level is high, try to tick off some items on this list. A little effort now means a lot less stress, later.

Go to bed thirty minutes earlier than usual.
Get up twenty minutes earlier than usual.
Before you go to sleep, prepare for the morning.
Bring a hat and an umbrella.
Don’t wear tight clothes or uncomfortable shoes.
Make a list.
Listen to a favorite song.
Keep extra cash and stamps in the house.
Be polite and be fair.
Laugh out loud.
Have a good book to read.
Keep an extra set of keys.
Exercise.
Always keep your passport in the same place.
Throw something away.
Don’t say mean things about other people.
Put a Bandaid in your wallet.
Keep gas in the car.
Pay attention to someone else.
Make your bed.

What am I overlooking? If you can think of other suggestions for little steps to ward off stress, please post them. I’m sure we all need them.

*
My internet movie, The Years Are Short, is now on YouTube! Check it out! I'd be very grateful if you click on a star to bump its rating, add a comment, or make it a favorite, to help go viral.

Comments

Put away clean clothes, and put dirty clothes in the hamper. When I am stressed I never feel like doing that, but then it *really* stresses me out to have clean clothes from the basket spilling out on the floor and getting mixed up with dirty clothes.

I love your blog, however, I couldn't watch the youtube video. Something about a id number being off. thanks again for what you do. I am a first year teacher and need all the help I can get!

Keep a pair of spare pantyhose in your office/desk drawer. Nothing more frustrating than running to meeting and noticing a giant run in your hose!

Couple more that help me out: keep a pen and paper handy at all times -- by the phone, in your glove compartment, in the 'go to' kitchen drawer; keep dental floss in your purse.

Have a specific spot to put your keys, purse/wallet, gym bag, and cell phone (preferably near each other) so you don't have to scrounge around looking for them in the morning when you are running late. I've also learned through experience to keep extra contact lenses, ponytail holders, and socks in my gym bag. I used to get to the gym and realize I had sandals on or glasses and would have an uncomfortable workout ahead of me, but now I end up loaning ponytail holders to strangers who've forgotten theirs!

Do most of your cooking on the weekends.

Eat breakfast.

This is for all the women out there - keep 2 items (1 light, 1 medium) in your handbag (purse)of a "personal nature" in case of getting caught short. There are few things more stressful! Miniexec's tip about pen and paper is one I second. I keep a small journal and mini pen in my handbag (purse). And I always fill up the car when it gets to the quarter mark, that way I will always have that reserve in case of dire emergency.

Set up the coffee pot and set the alarm for five minutes before your alarm clock in the morning. When you're stressed, the best thing you can do is wake up to coffee brewing before you actually hear that annoying beep.

Eat a healthy breakfast.
It doesn't have to be a big breakfast, or a hot breakfast. Good cereal and fruit will do it.
When I'm under a lot of stress, I make sure to take time for that and some stretching exercises before going to work.

Even if that healthy momentum doesn't continue, knowing that I've done something to take care of myself helps.

I have to second the gas tip as THE most important thing you can do to reduce stress! I have been in several situations where I was not prepared to drive the distance required and adding no gas to that would have been a HUGE stress. I trained myself to never be lower than half a tank and it has reduced my vehicle-related stress by a LOT. :)

Great post, Gretchen. I love your idea of keeping spare cash and stamps. I've just put it into practice. Thanks.

Agree with the idea of keeping the tank over half (I heard it is better for the engine as well).

- give copies of keys and passports to next of kin
- pack underwear in a separate bag when travelling (if you have to open your case for security or other reasons, it's not then all on show - or am I just a prude?)
- keep a pen and a flash-thumb-drive with you
- learn how to change a tyre (tire)
- keep sportswear/outdoor shoes in the boot (trunk) of the car. I even keep a kite in there. Great fun on a windy day!
- always know where your towel is (from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). Towels really are very useful!
- keep very important phone numbers memorised or on a small card in your wallet. It's terrible if you lose your mobile phone and can't call anyone!

My 21st would be http://www.forhardtimes.com .
Whenever I have a real hard time, I take a deep breath and watch this site for a few minutes.

Keep a weeks worth of food in your house so you're not caught on a busy day with a trip to the grocery store or dinner out. (Good for the pocketbook too.)

Think about work at work and home at home.

Having run out of gas too many times, I have wanted to carry a gas can in the trunk. However, this is really not safe. Here is a quote from the National Ag Safety Database, which is on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website(http://www.cdc.gov/nasd/docs/d000701-d000800/d000760/d000760.html):

"Obviously there will be times when it is necessary to carry a container of gasoline in your car or truck, but try to keep it to a minimum. Hauling gasoline can be dangerous. When you must carry gas, secure the can so that it will not slide around or tip over if you must make sudden stops or turns. Remove the container as soon as you get where you are going."

I have seen that some of the newer cars include electronic calculators in with the odometer to show how many miles you can travel at the current miles per gallon usage before running out of gas. I usually switch to this view when the gas tank is getting low as a reminder to fill up.

Make time to do something you love - big or small - even if you have to schedule it in. If you go too long without, it'll be harder to deal with the little things that stress you out.

Going to bed earlier seems hard to do but sleeping early will surely be a good habit to keep.

"Don’t say mean things about other people." - This is a good tip. Must try to keep this at all times. I think we should also try not to complain about things but rather to take it easy and look at the positive. It'll add up.

Carry snacks with you, or at least in your car. A lot of feeling stressed can be low blood sugar. A handful of almonds, an apple, even a can of Ensure or Boost stashed away can be a lifesaver at the right time.

Nice hot baths - and reading a good book therein.

Great post Gretchen.

Wonderful tips from everyone!

Along with the spare cash at home, a permanent $10 or $20 in your car glove compartment is a big relief if you need to cross a bridge or take a toll road or if you spontaneously meet up with friends for dinner. Borrowing money and trying to remember what you owe whom is very stressful.

A roll of quarters in the car is also super handy for parking meters.

Good tips, but some of it seems just too obvious :( Like keep gas in your car! But of course cars need gas, isn't that more of common sense?

Here's my little list:

Keep EVERYTHING that you use daily in its place!

Have a set schedule for doing routine chores. It helps to not have to think of how/when chores will get done.
Eg: I clean out both bathrooms in my house on Wednesday night. Thursday is garbage day for us, so it serves as a reminder to put the trash cans out as well. I buy groceries only during the weekend, that way I know I don't have one more stop after work to the grocery store on any other day.

Give 15-20 minutes of head room in anything, try not to have ANYTHING scheduled back-to-back. Packed schedules just don't work!

Schedule some leisure time for yourself at the end of the day, so you have something to look forward to.

Get your clothes ready for the next day before going to bed. One less thing to in the morning is GOOD!

I try to spend some time every morning either walking or working in my yard. Its quiet and beautiful, I really cherish this time that I have to myself, its a great start to the day!

Have a theme song that immediately makes you happy, play this whenever you are feeling stressed or sing it in your head you can even hum it... i play cocorosie's noah's ark it's a song of gratefulness for other greater things that we have been blessed with. It reminds me that whatever it is that we are facing right now is nothing and will soon pass.

Good tips. Shame the link to the u tube video doesn't work.

Keep a collection of "special occasion" cards on hand.

This is not a happy example, but this week, I was grateful for having a sympathy card in my desk. It was a crazy week already, made more crazy by loss. Being able to send my condolences without an extra trip to the store allowed me to do what my heart wanted without making my head more stressed.

Other general principles...
- Put items where they're most used/needed.
- Make it easy for kids to put up their things. Low shelves, a place for everything.
- Have a routine and lists for common tasks.
- Ask for help if you need it. And give it where you can.

Excellent post, and great tips. Thanks for this!

I'd like to add one more thing: if you're a woman, make sure you've got at least one feminine hygiene product in your purse at all times. You just never know, and being caught without ratchets up your stress level in a big way.

Other thinks to keep on hand:

paper and ink for your printer
flashlight and batteries
battery operated radio

Also
Check your smoke detector batteries
Have an emergency plan
http://www.ready.gov/

If you have long hair, always keep a barrette handy to clip your hair up for a more "professional" look, or in the case of a bad hair day. I know this sounds strange, but barrettes have saved me in so many situations... in fact I keep all sorts of barrettes in my purse, car,and coat pockets!

Build housekeeping routines, one at a time. If you're scatterbrained like me, check out flylady.net.

be the nice driver

What is the one minute rule?
Thanks
Janis

Tips are wonderful.

Especially liked Don't say mean things about people.

Would like to have seen your video. I hope you notice the link is not working and repost it soon...

Do the dishes before going to bed. Nothing like getting up to a clean kitchen!

Write a thank you note the day you receive a gift. Nothing makes me more stressed than thinking about the thank-yous I've yet to write.

Excellent tips. I have actually been following them as instructed and already feel less stress in my daily activities. That blog was a breath of fresh air.
http://www.freeloveinformational.blogspot.com/

yup the link to the youtube movie is off due to an added html element

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jgVKw9rXRg

ought to be the right one.

DO THE DISHES.

I cannot get the link to work to the youtube video.

One thing that I find useful and very simple when needing to reduce stress of any kind is deep breathing. About one minute of deep belly breathing really takes a lot of tension out of your system. I also like to play relaxation videos at http://www.relaxwithnature.com sometimes.

File everything in the office as soon as you receive it. Very convenient to retrieve it when the time comes. Do not procrastinate.It is very stressful to search for papers when it is piled up in one big mess on your table.

Why make your bed?

Its something my mom feels is important but why??

Whenever I feel like life is pure chaos (almost everyday), I stop and remind myself how lucky I am that I am healthy enough to get up and run errands, get kids out the door, rush off to work. I also give thanks that my biggest battles with my children are over what they eat and how fast they get dressed and brush their teeth. What many parents with ill children wouldn't give to have that normalcy.

This constant reminder keeps everything in perspective for me.

Wear your favourite fragrance and keep your desk tidy. A messy and cluttered desk is the last thing you want when you need something important and it's somewhere in the rubble.

Thanks for the great tips!

Here's the URL for the video that worked for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jgVKw9rXRg
Or just search at YouTube for "The Years are Short."
Great video. Thanks, Gretchen.

Keep a flashlight, spare pair of sneakers, and a healthy snack in your trunk. These have been very handy when there was a blackout at work, my shoes hurt, and I forgot to go to the atm.

Plan menus once a week, and shop once a week. Dinner is my most stressful time of day but if I don't have to think about what to have, I'm happy. Along those lines, remember to remove things from the freezer before leaving for work in the a.m.....

Great suggestions. Here's one I just implemented: Set up an ACTION file: To Do, To Read, To File, To Pay. Easy to go throught the mail and put things in their place.

I had trouble with watching the video at first, but I typed in "Gretchen Rubin The Years are Short" and in the search bar, and it brought it right up, and it was well worth it!

A place for everything and everything in its place makes you feel good twice.

Boost #1 - Cleaning clutter by putting things exactly where they belong gives you a feeling of satisfying accomplishment. (http://slate.com/blogs/blogs/happinessproject/archive/2009/02/26/happiness-putting-the-flashlight-on-the-second-shelf-of-my-coat-closet.aspx)

Boost #2 - Finding what you need in the first place you look - especially when your time is constrained (like most mornings) - gets you on your way in an up-beat mood.

This sounds like common sense, but you wouldn't believe how many times people get caught in the bathroom with no paper. Please stock up your closest cabinet and really, come on now. Put it on the roll. That's just being lazy.

I used to forget to take everything I need with me to work. One day, I noticed that I need 5 things, my keys, my security pass, my wallet, my blackberry and my cell phone. Now I each morning I make sure that I count those five things. Five is easy to remember, remembering the things I need to take is not.

Bundle your socks in pairs. Throw out the ones with holes.

Clean off your desk before you leave work or, if you work from home, before you leave your desk for the day.

The keep gas in your car tip might seem obvious, but I'm someone who hates to get gas and always seems to let the tank run down to empty at the most inopportune times. I need to use this tip!

Great post! Throwing something out and exercise...two biggies for me. Thanks for the reminders and other suggested ways to help fight stress!

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.


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