Debate: do pets make us happier?

Growing up, my family had a much-beloved dog, Paddy-Wack (“Knick knack paddy wack, give your dog a bone…”), but we don’t have a pet now. I’m very thankful that our building doesn’t allow them, because the Big Girl would constantly be pestering me about it, if not. I definitely wouldn’t want the responsibility of having a pet – we’re taxed to the uttermost right now, with two children. We can’t even keep a houseplant alive.

Nevertheless, I know that for many people, pets are an enormous source of happiness. The other day, though, I had a fascinating conversation with a friend about the negative happiness consequence of having pets. There are pros and cons I hadn't considered.

The pros to having pets:
Pets (above the fish/turtle level) provide companionship and unconditional love, both of which are KEY to happiness.

Dog owners, at least, often get more exercise, and exercise is a source of happiness.

Research shows that while we think that receiving support is a key to happiness, actually, providing support is perhaps even more important. Pets require our constant attention and care.

Having a pet contributes to the “atmosphere of growth” because you learn about your pet, learn to take care of it, watch it grow, etc.

Having a pet often contributes to stronger relationships with other people, by giving you something in common and similar concerns. I know many people who have made good friends at the dog-walkers park.

But my friend pointed out some cons:
Pets make it much harder to travel. When I asked him why he couldn’t leave his dogs in a kennel for a week, he said, “How often do you leave your two daughters for a week?” Point taken.

For people who have difficulty expressing affection to people, pets can be an outlet. In some cases, this is a bonus, but it can also mean that such folks are less inclined to direct their outward affection toward other people, who need it. Along the same lines, people who aren’t terribly social feel less need to be sociable, so they end up spending less time with other people.

Pets generate a huge amount of chores, which can be a source of tension and resentment.

Pets are sometimes used to justify decisions that people don’t want to take responsibility for. Instead of saying, “I don’t want to go to Thailand” or “I don’t want to go to your family’s house for Thanksgiving,” they say, “We can’t leave the dogs.”

Obviously, pets are an expense.

Trying to decide whether to get a pet?

In his fascinating book Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert argues that people aren’t very good at predicting what will make them happier in the future. He suggests a remedy: To predict what’s likely to make you happy in the future, ask someone who is having that experience at the moment. The more similar such surrogates are to you, the more helpful their information is likely to be.

So if you love to travel, or if you spend most of your time at home, or if you have a lot of kids or no kids, ask similiarly-situated people how they like having a pet.

Gilbert maintains that although we all feel very idiosyncratic, we’re much more alike in our preferences than we imagine—so the experience of other people is the best guide to follow.

Lists of pros and cons aside, from my own experience, pet ownership seems a lot like parenthood: As much as people might explain the disadvantages, and as much of a pain as it might be for long stretches, you’re never sorry you made the decision. There’s a satisfaction there that seems beyond the reach of conventional measure or rational explanation. Why? I think the secret is LOVE. We gladly pay a high, high price for love.

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The folks at AOL Canada very kindly asked me to do an interview, which was a lot of fun. Also, a thoughtful reader posted the link to a very interesting site, arloandjanis.com, a blog that incorporates cartoons. Ever since I read Scott McCloud's entire brilliant oeuvre, and Dan Pink's fantastic The Adventures of Johnny Bunko, I've been thinking a lot about the tremendous potential of comics.

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Comments

[Finja]

I don't know, but I feel the point about "less sociable people getting even worse" is a little bit too farfetched. I think it's more of a pro if a person who can't really connect to people at least has a pet.

And also: what's so wrong about using the pet as an excuse for things you don't want to do? You can blame it on the dog, no one gets hurt, everybody's happy.
Right?

[Joy Weese Moll]

An addition to the con side: we usually outlive our pets. I heard someone over the weekend describe pets as "mini-tragedies."

[Jessica]

Another pro: Pets provide hilarious and happy shared memories for a family. My family teslls the funny stories often, and we always end up cracking ourselves up...

[MJ]

I call my cat the "happy ball" because his loving, purring self makes me incredibly happy.

And frankly, I'll take him over any human family member any day of the week. I felt the same about my dogs - pets rule! It's really better to ask about whether you really want to get married or have children, because those are the things that will make or break you.

[Vermont]

Comparing leaving a dog in a kennel for a week and leaving your children in a kennel for a week? Really? I can't even believe you said "point taken."

I have both dogs and children (two of each, plus two guinea pigs). One big pro of having dogs (with small children) is that they clean up all the food that falls on the floor.

[LP]

Most of the 'cons' seem more like 'things people say when they don't want a pet, but feel guilty about it.' Sort of like how people who simply don't desire children usually don't just say this; they usually provide this same kind of rationalization (too expensive, interferes with traveling, etc.). For someone who wants to have a pet, I think all the 'cons' you describe are insufficient deterrents. So a more concise bit of advice might be: if you desire a pet, get one (because no list of cons will change that desire); if not, don't (because, similarly, no list of benefits will change this).

[Sgt Mike Dowling]

The only "con" in having a dog or any pet for the matter is that you will probably outlive it and have to watch it pass on. The only legitimate concern I can see is the expense issue. The positives in pet ownership far outweigh any negatives.
http://k9pride.wordpress.com

[Ella]

I don't think it's fair to say there are no legitimate cons other than expense and the prospect of outliving one's pet. As Gretchen points out, for people who are already stretched to the limits of their commitment, a pet can just push things over the edge. My sister works full time and has two small children and a dog. The dog has a lot of health problems and is a constant source of stress. My sister has often said that they will never acquire another pet - for her, the dog is definitely a net negative in terms of happiness.

[Jen S.]

The only con for me is expense. They're expensive suckers. I am lucky to have friends and family who take great, personal care of my pets when I leave town. I do know of a local boarding kennel that I like very much, but the cost would be prohibitive for a week-long trip (one time I did it for one dog, but can't for two).

My dogs are the source of so much of my happiness. Another pro: since I got my first dog (about 3 years ago) I no longer have any gray hair. :)

[Katie]

I am a very pro-dog/anti-cat person who has several family members and friends who are very pro-cat/anti-dog. For a long time I tried to understand why anyone would want a cat (other than a kitten, who is very cute, but kittens turn into cats), but eventually I realized that it's just a matter of personality.

All pets are probably like that: either you like them or you don't and you can't give a blanket statement over whether it makes everbody happy.

[HB]

I recently got two cats and even though I wanted them, I had no idea how happy they would make me. I am a person that has a lot of love to give and the cats are perfect for that. My bf and I spend so much time playing with them, taking care of them, etc. In that sense, I talked to friends that had cats but I still underestimated how much happiness they would bring to my life.

Another con tho: It could bring unexpected health problems if you are allergic.

[SW]

Do pets make people happier? That's one question. There are numerous studies you could have summarized to discuss this. I believe current research does suggest that people with pets seem happier than those without pets.

Are there things about owning a pet that might make some people choose not to have a pet because pets could be seen as expensive, inconvenient, or time-consuming, etc.? That's another question. Obviously pet ownership is a personal decision.

However, I'm surprised that as an professed expert on happiness you would answer the first question with the pros and cons of pet ownership.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Very interesting points...What most interested me about my conversation with my friend was that he LOVED having his dogs, but just realized that there were downsides that he hadn't considered. He didn't want to change anything, he just was reflecting on how experience often goes in a different way than you expect.

Yes, there are studies on pet ownership. For one, a 2006 Pew Research Center study showed no significant happiness gap between dog owners and cat owners -- and more surprisingly, no difference between owners of pets and no pets. http://pewresearch.org/pubs/301/are-we-happy-yet

Although I usually hunt down studies, in this case, my attention was caught more by the fact that my friend emphasized a bunch of "cons" -- yet said he'd never give up his dogs. Such is the nature of many happiness-inducing things.

[Barrie]

I'm a pet sitter/dog walker. I have 3 dogs and a dove and I could not deal with life without my animals.

I think the point about people who aren't social using their pets to avoid actually being social is a very good one. I've been involved in dog sports/activities pretty much my whole life and I have known a LOT of people who would fit that description. I daresay that *I* might fit that description.

I fully recognize that the fact that I can honestly say that I really couldn't imagine trying to deal with life without my animals is not a healthy thing.

But, more in keeping with your project: I translated my love for animals into a fairly successful business (I can pay most of the monthly bills with it) and force myself to be more social if only if it is in communicating with my lovely clients who are happier because I am caring for their dogs which in turn makes me happy because I feel useful and productive and I get to play with dogs all day every day.

I am very interested in your project. Fascinating idea!

[Lauren]

I totally disagree that pets make you less likely to socialize with others!!
I'm shy and the only people I talk to in the neighborhood are other dog owners I meet in the park and sit with while our dogs play together!
There's a lot of merit to this post though - the key to having a pet that makes you happy is investing the time, effort (and sometimes money) it takes to TRAIN a well-mannered pet who doesn't wreck your house or intimidate your guests.

[Supermance]

i like cats very much, there's a lot of cats in my neighbourhood. i usually let them come into my house, and yes they're make me happy after my work routine

[Niel]

Although I have neither, my observation is that pets and children go well together. The pros and cons of both are very similar. For a couple waiting to have children a pet can be a very happy way of starting a family.

Recent research that shows growing up with a pet reduces allergies in children seems to suggest another way in which pets will increase health (and therefore happiness.)

[Barrie]

"I'm shy and the only people I talk to in the neighborhood are other dog owners I meet in the park and sit with while our dogs play together!"

Good point Lauren. I should have specified that people who are seriously involved in dog sports (agility, herding, conformation, jrt racing, ring sports, etc.) are the ones I was thinking of when I wrote that. They spend all weekend, every weekend with large groups of people and still somehow don't actually behave in any normal social manner.

[Melissa]

I would have to say that this is yet another way where the idea that what is fun for me may not be fun for others is at play.

There are plenty of people who get a pet and then decide that the responsibility/time commitment is too great. Shelters are full of pets who didn't make people "happy enough" so they were surrendered.

I believe strongly that pet ownership is not for everyone and it certainly won't make everyone happier to have a full time pet- even when they think it will. The list of cons is long, involved, and expensive. I also know that just like with anything that involves hard work you may not be happy with it ALL the time. There have been times I have been frustrated, angry and even sad due to our 2 dogs. But sort of like marriage- for me these animals are a commitment I made and I do love them unconditionally- so giving them up would never be an option. But there is hard work involved in keeping the relationship strong and healthy.

On the flip side I do believe that the interaction with anmals for most people (allergies and serious phobias aside) is very positive and can bring great happiness. Therapy dogs and cats do wonderful things to boost happiness.

[Jen]

I have had a cat for 14 years and a dog for 5 years. They are absolutely wonderful pets, and make me incredibly happy. Since both are seniors now (the dog was adopted as an adult) I know I'll have some heartbreak in the fairly near future, but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. They certainly bring me happiness!

[Louise]

Pets and travel: A significant number of people who live full-time in their RV do so in order to travel with their pets. That is certainly the case with us. When we retired, we knew we wanted to travel the country. Originally, we had planned to do so on motorcycles. But we realized that would mean leaving our pets behind. Now they travel with us, every day, and provide us with love, companionship and entertainment.

We do use them as an excuse for why we do not want to stay in other people's guest rooms. "Can't leave the pets alone overnight in the RV." But we only use that excuse when people try to convince us that we need to sleep in their "real" bed. Um, hello? My RV is my home and your guest room is NOT an improvement unless it comes equipped with a masseuse!

[Ann]

I don't like it at all when pet ownership is equated with parenthood. I've done both, and it's NOT the same thing. I know both children and pets can bring happiness, but I would argue that it's not the same quality or depth of happiness. I'm tired of not feeling free to talk about my children in social settings while everyone around me chatters on about the trash-eating antics of their dogs and the strange hygiene habits of their cats. One is clearly more important than the idea. Certainly I'm not the only one who sees it that way.

[Jessica]

I have a cat and I adore him. He makes me happy, comforts me, and is just a hoot.

However, I would offer a word of caution anyone who uses the strategy of asking people similar to themselves who have pets for their opinions. Saying anything negative about animals is practically taboo in our culture, I believe. I can't imagine anyone actually admitting to anyone but the closest of confidantes that they dislike having a pet. In my experience, anyone who admits to not caring for animals is generally regarded as cold, verging on inhumane and untrustworthy. So you might not get a completely honest answer about the "cons" if you ask someone who already has a pet.

[angie]

Something that I would point out as being on the con side, is that one never knows how living with a certain pet is going to be. It's not as if there's a lot of trying them out before adopting. My husband and I have two small children and 3 years ago adopted a young dog that had been found in a dumpster. While she is a very sweet dog and we love her, she grew to be 80 lbs. (against the rescue's and the vet's estimations) and is too intense to play around the children without supervision. So when she's out, they're in and when they're in, she's out. It's sad. She would never intentionally hurt them - she just inadvertently sends them flying sometimes even though they are 7 and 4. I will not give her up because we accepted the responsibility of raising her when we adopted her, but her presence, especially when she was in the puppy phase has been an unfortunate source of stress. That said, I have had wonderful experiences with pets in the past, but overall, it's a crapshoot.

[pidgeon92]

Pets are NOT for everyone. I have four pets, two dogs and two birds, and they light up our lives. I, personally, will always have a pet as long as I am able to care for one.

[Marcia]

Our family has one dog (5 yo) and 3 cats (all 6 yo) and a guinea pig. Despite the fact that I have 2 animal-loving kids, the dog was my idea...I quit the gym and got a dog and she became my "exercise dog."

So, does Sadie make me happier? I think we make each other happy. Happiness is a two-way street -- animals have emotions too and when they are loved and cared for they are happy. I can see that when we walk and I set her loose during our walk in the woods -- she smiles. And that makes me happy. She is happy to see me when I walk in the door, and that makes me happy. I'm happy to see her too, and that makes her happy.

Anything that increases happiness in the world can't be all that bad -- even for people who don't relate to other people very well.

[Tino Schwarze]

I love animals. They should be free, though.

In my opinion, pets are mostly a surrogate. To use sharp words: It is mostly abuse. Cages, artificial food, brick houses - that's not the natural environment for cats and dogs etc.

Their natural environment (if any - most races have been bred) would be free nature.

Meeting an animal in wilderness is a source of great happiness - if you manage to be quiet, patient and regardful enough to establish some contact.

[Kristine]

I definitely feel that pets enrich my life. Personally, I have a hard time considering the fact that we will likely outlive our pets a valid reason not to have one. My family recently lost our beloved 12-year-old dog to cancer. It was very painful to lose him but we all agree the pain was a small price to pay for the happiness he brought to our lives. We have so many happy memories of him.

So what of people who do not want a pet for this reason? are they cheating themselves of great happiness to avoid the pain of eventually losing the pet?

[JAD in Longwood FL]

Hi Gretchen, Some people are pet people and they will receive so much more joy than any of the cons "cost" when their lives are enriched by pets. Pet ownership is not for everyone—time, circumstance and temperament may all suggest that pet ownership is not a good idea. But just as few people can resist the wonder of a newborn, so too, a pet is a kind of living magnet, not only for its owners but for all who come into its sphere of interaction. There are a lot of studies that show how therapeutic the presence of a pet is among the elderly and those who struggle with illness; so too, with those who are younger and in good health. Thanks for your blog; it has many gems. And good luck with your book!

[Tanya]

A lot of people are WAY too wrapped up in their pets. I totally agree that some people use it as an excuse to be anti-social. It is important to develop people skills and I think it can get to a point of being unhealthy when people would rather spend time with animals than humans. I think the comment from MJ proves my point "I'll take him over any human family member any day of the week". How sad. You can't assume every else is the bad one...you have to learn to adjust your own flaws and get along with people.

I know a lot of people get angry when I express this, and it doesn't apply to everyone who has pets, but they shouldn't be used as a replacement for anything.