Happiness and the joy of undertaking a big project.

My First Splendid Truth holds that to think about being happier, you must consider feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. I’ve become increasingly convinced that the atmosphere of growth is far more important than generally recognized.

Studies show that novelty and challenge—though they can make us uncomfortable, frustrated, uneasy, etc.—are keys to happiness. People who have novel experiences are happier than those who stay in a rut. Also, people are very sensitive to change in their circumstances, whether in a positive or negative direction. Therefore, a feeling of progress, improvement, and learning makes us happier.

I’ve been looking for more ways to bring “an atmosphere of growth” into my life. Children provide it, of course. Also, my blog is a major source of growth for me (also frustration, anxiety, etc.).

And today, a friend and I took the first big step in a BIG project we’re doing together. This multi-stage undertaking will contribute enormously to my atmosphere of growth.

We’ve been planning for months, and the planning has been fun, but I was starting to develop Beginner’s Dread about actually starting. But this afternoon we got underway, and it’s going to be SO TERRIFIC. It's already a source of joy, and it’s going to keep going for months.

Along with novelty, challenge, and growth, this project combines many resolutions: “Spend time with friends,” “Show up,” “Indulge in a modest splurge,” “Read at whim,” “Appreciate the seasons and this time of life,” and most importantly, “Be Gretchen.”

The inspiration for this project? A while back, I was reading a biograpy of writer J.M. Barrie, J.M. Barrie and the Lost Boys (Barrie is best known for writing Peter Pan). It made brief mention of a book made by J. M. Barrie using photographs of the four Llewelyn boys he adored. He took photographs of the boys during one summer, then created a story out of the pictures called The Boy Castaways of Black Lake Island.

He made one copy for himself, and one copy for the Llewelyn family, but the boys’ father left their copy on the train, so only one copy of this book exists.

I noticed that this one copy happened to be in Beinecke Library, the rare books library at Yale, where I went to college and law school. I needed to go up to New Haven for some reason, so I stopped by the library to see the book (keeping my happiness-project resolution to “Force myself to wander”).

I was blown away by this book. I LOVED it. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. Absolutely marvelous, a whole new way of telling a story and keeping a photo album – and Barrie is an extraordinary writer. I’m continually haunted by the opening line: “We set out to be wrecked.”

Rarely have I wanted to own something so badly – and I discovered that I could order a copy. The library had made a digital image of every page. So I bought myself a copy of every page.

To my great good fortune, I have a friend who immediately realized the brilliance of The Boy Castaways and who was as enthusiastic about it as I was.

Tomorrow I’ll describe our own Boy Castaways project. It’s so fabulous.

***Earlier today, I tried to post a link to the Beinecke Library site's digital images of the book. For some reason, the link won't work -- I think the link gets timed out. If you'd really like to check out the book (and it's worth it!), do this:

Go to the Beinecke Library site: Beinecke Library
Under "Finding Books, Images, and Manuscripts," go to ORBIS, the online catalogue
Search by title for "boy castaways"
Hit the blue #2 entry that will come up
Hit the link to "View images from the Beinecke Library's Digital Images Online Database."
This is quick and easy, despite sounding complicated!

*
I just discovered a new blog that I find very charming, I Think This World Is Perfect. Of course, with a name like that, I was instantly intrigued.

*
New to the Happiness Project? Consider subscribing to my RSS feed: Subscribe to this blog's feed. Or sign up to get email updates in the box at the top righthand corner.
If you're starting your own happiness project, please join the Happiness Project Group on Facebook to swap ideas. It's easy; it's free.

Comments

[sparkle]

i would love to see this book, but the links don't seem to work properly for me.

[Annette]

yeah, same here. I would love love love to see these books, can you please fix the links? :)

[Lilly Evans]

What an apt and wonderful post. A new friend and I have just started a big project ourselves, our first one together, so there could be no better encouragement and so unexpected as well!

I wish I could see the book in its full glory, it sounds really inspirational.

Wish you and your friend all the very best and much happiness in the process of making it happen.

With very best regards from UK

[meredith]

hi there
just wanted to tell you how much i enjoy getting your newsletters. i have been on the subscription list for a couple of months and always look forward to them. i have a parenting site that teaches families about giving back. please check it out at www.acmesharing.com it's called The Acme Sharing Company.
keep up the great work, best, meredith
p.s. i hope this comes directly to you and not get posted, my intention was not to try to plug my site.

[meredith]

i guess that didn't work out the way i planned. i am used to blogger that sends comments to the author first. so sorry. and slightly embarrassed.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Meredith, don't worry about it!!

Sorry about the broken link. I think the problem is that the catalogue times out. I've posted the instructions on how to pull up the images yourself -- it looks like a lot of steps but is actually very simple to do.

What a joy the internet is! When I was reading the biography, I was so frustrated to see only a few photographs from the BOY CASTAWAYS. Then I went online and, voila, complete satisfaction. Such a treasure trove.

[Michelle Potter]

How interesting that I'd read this post immediately after discussing Project 365, which is a Flickr group for taking one photo every day for a year. It's quite a big commitment, and something I plan to start on my birthday next week. (Since I missed January 1st, my birthday seemed the next logical starting date!)

[Paige]

So funny, Gretchen. I spent time with a dear friend of mine recently and we were talking about this very thing, this understanding that we very much love what we do, but we're in this phase where we need to grow right now and are looking for ways to do just that.

I think the acceptance was the big and important first step though.

[Jeremy]

Gretchen,
There is a video of the pictures on youtube (search Boy Castaways) and at http://www.jmbarrie.co.uk/bc_index.html
Great blog!

[Liz]

Thanks for this post. The book is utterly charming. Imagine if Barrie had had a blog and/or a flickr account!

Thank you for sharing your Happiness Project online. I apply something I've learned from you in my life everyday, whether dealing with the kids or helping boost morale at work. Thanks.

[tina]

wow! that book is fantastic! i can't wait to learn more about your project. also, a huge thanks for making me realize i can search the beinecke like that. it's something i totally should have realized, but i just never thought of it. i've only been to the beinecke once, but it was a magical experience. it's great to know i can now get little bits of it even from far away.

[MJ]

You are so right about the atmosphere of growth. While more important than we think, it can also be more rare (or fragile?) too. In the last year I tacked a new part of my work - that was fun and challenging. But now I've gotten over the hump and worked too much. Old pleasures (certain types of novels and poetry and music) have gone flat for me. Work has become work again - I needed more growth. I'm still trying to work on and solve this, but I'm forcing myself out of my old ruts into new interests and new avenues, and that has resored the spark. I'm usually quite interested in the world, so when I lose interest in it (due to burnout or whatever else) the excitement and challenge of growth is what is needed. Your blog has been a great resource in reminding me of these things (the common sense that isn't always so common).

Looking forward to exploring the library site too. I love libraries - and should stop passing them by in my little tunnel between office and home.

[Karen Kay]

I am so glad that you had this experience. Places like the Beinecke are real treasure troves.

[Vintage Kids' Books My Kid Loves]

now i'm obsessed...