What happiness books have been recommended to you -- or do you recommend?

I love getting suggestions for reading. I’ve found some of my favorite books on happiness through reader recommendations.

So here’s a question: if you’ve ever been in therapy, or marriage or family counseling, or met with a minister, priest, or other kind of spiritual adviser, or gone to a career coach or life coach, or hired a professional organizer, or anything else along those lines – what books were recommended to you?

I’d be interested just to know what books were recommended, whether or not you did read them. And if did you read them – were any books particularly helpful? Non-fiction or fiction, any kind of book.

Or if you are a therapist, minister, coach, and the like, what do you recommend?

I’d love to know what happiness professionals (of all stripes) suggest for people to read.

The right book, at the right time, can make a tremendous difference – for example, Beth Lisick suggesting 1-2-3 Magic to me. My fantasy, of course, would be that one day, people might recommend THE HAPPINESS PROJECT. One of the reader emails that has made me happiest was the email from a therapist who said that he told his patients to read my blog every day.

Part of giving great counsel (in whatever role) is seeing what book would suit a particular person’s character and situation. For example, I LOVE Story of a Soul, but I have to admit that it’s not a book for everyone.

Or is there a book that you’ve found on your own, that you want to recommend to other people?

For some of my happiness-related reading suggestions, see the lower right-hand column of this blog.

*
When I was at the MediaBistro conference, I saw a presentation by the founder of the site Divine Caroline, so I went to check it out. Lots of interesting material, in several happiness-related categories.

*
I’m going to start sending out a short monthly newsletter. If you’d like to sign up, click on the link in the upper-right-hand corner of my blog. Or just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “newsletter” in the subject line. I’ll add your name to the list.

Comments

[Grete]

"The Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster has been recommended to me by one or two spiritual mentors.

Also, "Letters to a Young Poet" by Rainier Marie Rilke is a book I've bought for a number of friends over the years.

[Grete]

"The Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster has been recommended to me by one or two spiritual mentors.

Also, "Letters to a Young Poet" by Rainier Marie Rilke is a book I've bought for a number of friends over the years.

[HP van Duuren]

I am glad that you asked, because I recenly put up a very interesting (audio) Interview with the author of an interesting book about 'Happiness' on my 'Blogspot'.

You can even have a look at a FREE Preview of the Book!

You can find it at: http://hpshappy.blogspot.com

BTW you can also have a look at the little (e)Book I wrote myself!! (BTW if you have a look at it in my 'Webshop' you can also have a 'Free Preview' of it aswell.)

All the Best,
To your Happy Inspiration,
HP

[suz]

first things that come to mind are the ones by academics:

the dan gilbert book: stumbling on happiness
and the one that looks really similar to it: the how of happiness

ed deci's why we do what we do ... b/c he talks about intrinsic motivation (doing things for their own sake).

there are books i like just because: susan piver's (hard questions ... how not to be afraid of your own life) and christina baldwin (seven whispers) ... their writing is so calming and deep.

[David Davies]

I can highly recommend The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, MD. It's a wonderful book and has helped me greatly.

[Mind-Mart.com]

Currently reading 'Happy For No Reason' and it's making me very . . . happy :P

[Nitin Julka]

My top three books to increase happiness are:

http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Yes-Negotiating-Agreement-Without/dp/0140157352
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In

http://www.amazon.com/Small-Step-Change-Your-Life/dp/0761129235
One Small Step can Change your Life: The Kaizen Way

http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0142000280
Getting Things Done: The art of Stress Free Productivity

[AML]

My therapist recommended Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach (which I had already read...one of my all time favorite books) and The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama as another commenter mentioned. I haven't read the latter yet but I got it from paperbackswap.com (a great website!).

[GP]

A great therapist recommended "Wisdom of the Psyche" by Ginette Paris. It's one of the best books I have ever read. For example, the way the author explains the concept of fathering and mothering was a revelation to me. There is also a lot more to it and, I believe, different people will be touched in different ways depending on their global life experience and where they happen to be in their life when they read it.

[Chris Warren]

A friend of mine recommended the book "Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Todd Gilbert. Still haven't quite gotten around to reading it (I'm a librarian with a lengthy "to-read" list), but I do keep meaning to get around to it.

[Dean]

I read this for a seminar -

Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer

... which lead me also to

The Active Life: A Spirituality of Work, Creativity, and Caring by Parker Palmer

For the same seminar I read -

The Heart Aroused : Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America by David Whyte

We also read poetry.

Accordingly, I highly recommend the aforementioned books and any poetry you like. The poetry is perhaps most important.

For example, I like T. S. Eliot's Four Quartets. For no particular reason.

[Suzyn]

When I was pregnant with my first child, my therapist recommended that I read the work of D.W. Winnicott, particularly his theory of the "good enough mother" - in a nutshell: most mothers' instincts are correct most of the time, better to trust your gut than to follow "experts." Very helpful.

I read the Art of Happiness - I wish they'd publish a version of just the Dalai Lama's words, without all the stuff from Howard Cutler - he spends way too much time trying to win over skeptics.

Thanks for the 1-2-3 Magic recommendation! I got it out of the library, and I can't wait to start trying it!

I love Dean's suggestion to read poetry. "Oh for a Muse of Fire..." (opening monologue of Henry V) is one of my favorites!

[Teacher Girl]

I am a high school counselor and I would say that most "self help" books (re: happiness or other topics) are not compelling enough to sustain the interest of most teenagers. I recommend fiction and/or non-fiction based on their interests and passions. "Holes", for example, tells the story of a boy who changes his fortune by being a great person and doing the right thing. Teenagers don't like to be preached at. but they love good stories.

As for me, the best book I have read about living a happy life is Carl Honore's "In Praise of Slowness." And I LOVE the TED talks at http://www.ted.com/. I also recommend "The Simpsons" and "Backyardigans".

I find that visiting Florence makes me absurdly happy.

Happiness texts abound.

[Karen]

A book called Feeling Good, by Dr. David Burns, changed my life when I was depressed. It's a book on using cognitive therapy to deal with depression and anxiety, and it was recommended to me by a therapist. However, I think even normal people could use the approach to develop a more positive outlook on life.

I also recommend, for those who want to improve their relationships, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman. I can't say it saved my marriage, but it's full of very practical advice for strengthening a relationship that can be saved.

I've read Stumbling on Happiness, which others have recommended. I really enjoyed it, but didn't find a lot that I could use in my happiness project.

[mamacita]

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck was the first book a psychiatrist recommended to me, and it really made a difference in my life.

[Patti]

The Power To Prevail by David Foster

GREAT BOOK!! I have read it more than once and given it as a gift more than once. HINT: Also a great book for a graduate starting out in the "real world"!

[jillyoli]

I love starting the day with morningcoach.com - it is only 15 minutes and gets me in the best mood. you can download it on your ipod with itunes (free!) or listen to it from the website.

Just listening to JB's encouraging voice in the morning helps with my attitude so much. He speaks often about having gratitude, focusing on others, having energy, being healthy, networking, keeping organized, writing in a journal, and making money.

Try it out and add to your own happiness.

[Jim]

My therapist pointed me at Jon Kabat-Zinn's "Wherever You Go There You Are" and Thich Nhat Hanh's "The Miracle of Mindfulness." I found both to be very helpful.

[Maria Helm]

Similar to the comment from Teacher Girl, some people just aren't readers. I am a voracious reader, but you can't PAY my hubby to read a book. A couple years ago, he was having panic attacks and was sent to counseling. He TOLD the counselor he doesn't read, but she sent him home with a couple books with pages marked. Dumb move. My point is to advise 'happiness professionals' to tailor their response to the individual. Now, if she had asked him to watch a movie or play a video game...

[Tracy Longacre]

My therapist recommended, Emotional Intelligence, but I never read it.

Two books I have just recently read and would highly recommend:

"Happiness" by Matthieu Ricard
"How We Choose to Be Happy" by Rick Foster and ?? (someone else).

I have just started reading "Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar and I think it is going to be very good.

How We Choose to Be Happy is the recommended reading for an online course I am doing called Awakening Joy -- www.awakeningjoy.net

[Sherri]

One of my favorite books is Living the Good Life by Ruth McGinnis. I don't remember where I first learned of it (I think I had read about the author and went in search of her writing.) It is a book about general well-being. It speaks a lot about lifestyle (spirituality, balance, caring for yourself) a little about nutrition, and a little about fitness. It is never preachy. It focuses on the importance of finding what works for you and that what works for some is different from what works for others. This book made me feel calm and focused.

[CJ]

Check out "Happiness" by Matthieu Ricard...a Buddhist monk turned scientist.

[Gretchen Rubin]

This is so interesting and helpful. Keep those suggestions coming! I've read a fair number of these, heard of some of them, and some I will have to track down to read.

One thing srikes me: probably a lot of the usefulness of a particular book comes from whether it hits you at the right moment. There is a Buddhist saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I've read some of these books and found them unremarkable -- but probably because I wasn't "ready" for them to be my "teacher" at that particular moment. Why do I find STORY OF A SOUL to be so moving and helpful? And yet I doubt most people would have that reaction.

On the kidlit note: I LOVE LOVE LOVE the book Holes. My children's literature reading group read it, and everyone agreed that it was terrific.

[Sonia]

I recommend another book by Thich Nhat Hanh called "Peace is Every Step" - it's a bunch of short essays so you can dip into it even if you only have a few minutes to spare. The funny thing is that even if I don't implement any of his suggestions, just reading a few pages makes me feel happier and calmer.

I second Karen's suggestion for "Feeling Good" by David Burns - an incredibly helpful book.

I'm currently reading "And Baby Makes Three" by John Gottman, which came highly recommended to me for dealing with the changes that can happen in a marriage when kids are added to the mix.

[Hal Espen]

I may seem like the skunk at the garden party here, but I'd enthusiastically recommend "The Denial of Death," by Ernest Becker. It's the bracing antidote to all of the blinkered "healthy-minded" psychological ideologies, and establishes the truth-telling foundation upon which you can build an honest view of human potential, of the predicament of being alive (for a limited time), and of being both a literal earthbound animal body and a symbol-dependent mind who needs transcendence. It's especially piercing about the problem of toxic leadership and the lies that accompany charisma-based follwership, a huge drawback in the Oprahesque realm of "spiritual" prescriptions for happiness.

[Ellie beth]

Ragamuffin Gospel: Good news for the Bedraggled, Beat UP and Burnt Out by Brendan Manning: http://www.amazon.com/Ragamuffin-Gospel-Bedraggled-Beat-Up-Burnt/dp/1590525027/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211907064&sr=8-1

A Christian book, but some non-Christians, I think, would find it helpful too.

[Jenny Blake]

I absolutely LOVE Zen and the Art of Happiness by Chris Prentiss:
(http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Art-Happiness-Chris-Prentiss/dp/0943015537/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211908389&sr=8-1)

[Nancy]

I really love the writings of Laurie Colwyn -- both her novels and her food-related essays. Try "Happy All the Time," a short novel in which, as my husband would say, "nothing happens," but the characters and their approaches to happiness are beautifully detailed.

[Lee Sumner]

The book that's helped me be happier, regardless of the circumstances? Falling Awake: Creating the Life of Your Dreams. Dave Ellis synthesizes wisdom from many sources into 12 simple "success strategies" such as: Tell the Truth, Move Toward Love, Change Your Habits and Celebrate the Life You Have. I love his notion that everything we do (or don't do) is a habit. If that's true, then I can choose to be happy and create a plan for being in constant celebration, no matter what chaos is happening The book includes exercises and pages for journaling with each chapter. You cna order it or download it for free at www.fallingawake.com. Even happier.

[Leslie]

I really loved The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho--a book about recognizing and following your dreams. So important on a journey to happiness.

[C]

What Should I Do With My Life? by Po Bronson

[DiscoveredJoys]

I'm writing a story (more of a parable really) about meaningful life, wisdom and happiness. I've read meany books etc. as research, but there are two that stand out:

Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck

and

50 Self Help Classics by Tom Butler-Bowdon.

Finding Your Own North Star is very much about finding your true path in life and reconnecting to your essential (true) self. It also has excellent chapters on 'change'.

The 50 Self Help Classics book contains brief summaries of 50 (duh!) self help classics with brief quotes and biographies of the authors. The authors include some mentioned in other comments. The big plus with this book is that you get to compare and sample many books before you decide which one(s) to buy. After all everybody is different...

[Angela]

"Happiness is a Choice" by Barry Kaufman; Until I had read the book, I never imagined that being happy was something I had in my power to choose, even in the most difficult of circumstances.

[Lynn]

I see that Feeling Good by David Burns has already been named, but I want to second that. That book, along with a seminar I tooked based on it, really had a profound influence on my way of thinking.

Another recommendation - Why Good Things Happen to Good People by Stephen Post. It poses the question of why so much attention is given to negative experiences in society (war, terror, disaster, etc) and argues that positive experiences have just as much influence, if not more, on our behavior.

[Honey B]

I love Pema Chodron's "When Things Fall Apart". I know it sounds grim, but actually, her attitude is so open and accepting, that the book always makes me feel better, no better how bad I was feeling before. I've tried to read a lot of other, similar books on mindfulness and acceptance, but this one is the one that sticks with me.

I also enjoyed "Untethered Soul", which has helped me remember to say 'yes' even when my instinct is to back away from possible joy.

[Jayne]

This book wasn't recommended to me by anyone but I certainly recommend it to others - Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials, by Australian-based psychologist Stephanie Dowrick.

It's hefty, but chockful of wisdom and it helped me through a recent rough patch in my life - probably just as much, if not more than, my counsellor did. It focuses on key areas such as identifying your values and living by them, fostering self-esteem, honouring others, living with kindness and compassion and recognising the interconnectedness of us all. It even has a 2 page list of "what is takes to be happy".

It's easy to read and has a "smart index" which is designed to allow you to dip into the book to find just that piece of wisdom that you might get you through a bad day.

[Harriet Cabelly]

"Happiness Is A Serious Problem" by Dennis Prager
"Wonderful Ways To Love A Child" by Judy Ford
"Children Learn What They Live" by Dorothy Law Nolte
"Too Much Of A Good Thing" by Dan Kindlon (on character and values in an indulgent society)
I love your lists of books. Great idea to list once a month. Memoirs are my favorites as I love stories about people overcoming adversity. Sounds morbid and depressing to some people, but to me as I'm sure to you, they are inspirational and uplifting. "A Three Dog Life" by Abigail Thomas is terrific.
I just listed you in my links of my newly created web site - www.harrietcabelly.com Actually, you were my initial motivator in my starting this computer "stuff" (blog, web sites, posting) when you came and spoke to our writing class at the JCC back in the fall. Thank you.
Harriet Cabelly

[Chief Family Officer]

I completely agree that the right book at the right time can be life-changing. I can't even count how many times that has happened to me. I've even been known to walk around a bookstore waiting for a book to announce itself to me (yes, this has actually happened to me!). Right now, my favorite happiness book is Richard Carlson's Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... And It's All Small Stuff. I find it helps me keep things in perspective, be kinder to others, be kinder to myself, and generally be a happier person. The best part is that each chapter is only a couple of pages long so I can read it in very short spurts, critical with two very young children on the loose in my house!

[Louise]

People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck - I read it years ago and it made me realize I wasn't nuts.

[Louise]

People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck - I read it years ago and it made me realize I wasn't nuts.

[Linda]

Hi Gretchen,

I just read and love this happiness book -- "The Woman's Field Guide to Exceptional Living" by Corrie Woods. I loved every page of it! The quotes are wonderful and the artwork speaks to my heart. It is a beautiful blend of practical advice and deep wisdom. Enjoy.

The author's site also has tales about inspirational women that will bring a smile to your face.

Cheers,
Linda

[Ann - One Bag Nation]

Recently recommended - and maybe a bit more specific than "happiness" books:
Delivered from Distraction (about living with adult ADD, which I'm reading and enjoying); and When Things Fall Apart, recommended recently.

[Vaughn Nystrom]

Here are a few oldies on happiness that still work today:

All of Ken Keyes books (he called his method The Science of Happiness) His best book is Handbook to Higher Consciousness

I'd also include Barry Neil Kaufman here: Happiness is a Choice.

More current is Byron Katie's Loving What Is, which is a short easy method to learn how to love reality in all of its wonderful forms.

[Jesus]

I am reading The Master key, just have red ten chapters and it is so wonderful,

[fridagirl]

I am a therapist and teacher and struggle with depression myself. I recommend: The Mindful Way Through Depression by Mark Williams & Jon Kabat-Zinn; The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz; and When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron.

[Anne]

A counselor I saw years ago recommended two books to me that then became hugely important to me:

Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God

Pema Chodron's The Wisdom of No Escape.

[Aman Batra]

The books i've been recommended are:

1. The Power of Your Subconcious Mind
2. If Life Is A Game These Are The Rules
3. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull

I've read all of them, and they are all amazing!

:)

[Ryan]

Our Search for Happiness (Ballard)
Book of Mormon

Both were recommended to me by my religious leaders.

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