A happy idea for a new family tradition: a guessing game.

I’m a big believer in family traditions. I’m also a big believer in the idea that children get a big kick out of even relatively small gestures, so that it’s worth taking the time to jazz things up a bit, in easy ways.

A friend of mine has a great tradition when she and her husband travel away from their children.

Like many people, she brings her kids little presents from trips, but instead of just handing them over upon her return, she makes sure to pick the presents early in the trip, then allows her children to ask for clues. Each child gets one clue per day, and they have tremendous fun coming up with the questions, coordinating with each other about who will ask what, keeping a list of the clues that have been revealed, debating amongst themselves, etc.

She says that the gift itself brings them much less fun than the guessing game.

Research shows that a key to happiness is squeezing out as much happiness as possible from a happy event, and as much as possible, we want to get more happiness bang for the buck by focusing on the four stages of appreciating a happy moment, i.e.,

1. anticipating with pleasure,
2. savoring the moment as we experience it,
3. expressing our happiness to ourselves or others, and
4. reflecting on a happy memory.

The guessing game gives a huge boost to #1, meaning that the same activity has a much greater happiness yield.

Now, I’d never begin this family tradition myself. As an underbuyer, I never bring gifts home to my children after a trip. I wouldn’t even do that once, for fear that they’d expect gifts every other time I went away. I don’t like to shop, and I wouldn’t create a situation where I’d feel pressed to hit the stores.

So I’m trying to figure out a way to apply the same “guessing game” idea to something else that we do.

Have you found any easy ways to make ordinary activities more fun for kids?

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Comments

[Jacki Hollywood Brown]

My Aunt used to give us birthday/Christmas presents with a little riddle or poem on the gift tag. We weren't allowed to open the gift until we had "guessed" at what it might be. The poems tended to lead us in the wrong direction so it was always a surprise when the gift was opened.
My mother always put little notes in our school lunches on special occasions (Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day). It was kind of embarrassing in secondary school but we secretly appreciated it.
I tend to make my kids do a "sing for your supper". I think of a word and they have to sing a song with that word in it as "payment" for dessert!

[Heather]

Your summary of the 4 stages of the happy moment are right on. Especially in regards to a vacation or a big event. Now I've got to scrapbook it!

Oh a suggestion for your "present" for your kids, could be a picture of the place you are with a favorite toy or object. It could be guess where "toy name" is? Sort of a Flat Stanley concept. Then you could send the picture via e-mail and wahlah...the guessing game is on.

[STL Mom]

I rarely buy souvenirs, for myself or my kids. Last time I went on a trip, I bought little gifts for them and found them on the bottom of my purse about a month later.
I love the idea of a game or puzzle, not related to a gift. I'll have to pull out my book "Simple Fun for Busy People" because it has lots of ideas, and now my kids are old enought to enjoy more of them.
It's summer - the perfect time to introduce more fun and games into our routine.

[Teresa]

I want to thank you for a wonderful, inspiring blog. You've directed me in the right direction on some days when I've been feeling lost or disconnected, and I really appreciated it.

The last time you wrote about traditions got me to thinking about ours. We have a few, but we try not to be too rigid about them, and hope that the kids learn flexibility and not expect things to always be exactly the same. My younger son has mild autism, and I believe it's very important for him to have flexibility since otherwise he'd do everything on an unvarying schedule.

[Abi]

Another blog I read has a good list of Creative Kids Activities that don't need a lot of supplies of resources.. she calls them simple fun!
http://berlinswhimsy.typepad.com/berlins_whimsy_childrens_/

[jhunter]

I have a treasure hunt for the kids on the 1st of December which starts when they find clue #1 in their advent calendar. This leads to clues all over the house and garden, each one leading to the location of the next. The last leads to the 'gift', something for the Christmas period I was planning on giving them anyway, like a Christmas book, cuddly toy or seasonal DVD. I also give them a Christmas 'party' with their friends; same thing every year. We have 'reindeer training events' (pals pulling pals on a blanket 'sleigh' along the wooden floor of our lobby; negotiating obstacles and guiding each other to pick up 'dropped toys on rooftops' blindfolded as 'foggy night training' etc) Christmas cake slice decorating, cracker making, musical chairs etc and a mini version of the treasure hunt. The kids love that their friends now ask if they can be part of this family tradition and being hosts gives my kids as much pleasure as the parties. I'm a homelife coach and always coach folk to develop rituals and traditions that sustain and nourish family spirit. These are what childhood memories are so often made up of.

[Kindness]

Great pointers!
I'm a first-time visitor and I'll be back for more...

All the best from Thailand

[Amy]

Great idea about the guessing game. When my daughter was 5 and 6, my husband travelled frequently for business.

We'd buy duplicate copies of the book they were reading together and each night they'd read a page together. Charolotte's Web was a particular favorite.

While many sno-globes from various places also came home, the stories are what they remember.

[beth]

How about telling the girls "I took the FUNNIEST photo of Daddy today, guess what he is doing?" We have had some fun with this and have a great set of photos such as 'mommy driving the forklift' (at a Napa winery) and 'daddy flying the airplane'. It also encourages you and your spouse to get silly.

[Kathleen]

We used to take *mystery trips*. The kids would know a trip was planned. On a certain date, they could ask questions with yes or no answers from which they would discuss and the guess the destination. A few questions each day were allowed in the run-up to the trip.
We also did scavenger hunts for the big gifts they got -- clues would have them running from room to room to find , for example, their first computer...
That idea could be re-vamped for any gift/any day.

[dk]

I love the idea of taking silly photos and having the kids guess.

I think we need to work a bit on family traditions in my family. One thing that I've kept up with religiously is reading to my kids. My 10-year-old is a terrific reader, but I still read to him every night, and I think it's the thing he likes most to do with me. He will listen to me read just about anything, so I've been able to reread all my old girly favorites from childhood and he listens happily (even though he would complain vociferously if forced to read these on his own). I've also read him New Yorker articles (vetted in advance of course) and we've discovered some favorites together, like the Harry Potter series and The Wizard of Oz.

Another thing I try to do, since I have two boys, is participate (with limits) in boyish delight in the gross. While waiting in line or walking to the store, we sometimes play the game "Would You Rather." A recent hit was when my older son asked me, "Would you rather kiss daddy's toe with the fungus on it or kiss a toilet seat?" I chose the toe, to great cries of disgust. LOL.

[Cheryl]

I put a code instead of a name on Christmas gifts to my children each year. They try to crack the codes in the days/weeks leading up to Christmas. My children are now 18 to 25 but they still have fun with the code.

[Karen Kay]

One of the things that my parents used to do was take us on "mystery trips". We'd get in the car and drive to a destination that my parents knew, but we didn't. One of the places we went is Battle Creek, which is not that exciting, but I loved it. The car ride itself was the fun part in that case. Singing and talking...

[Stephanie]

When my kids were schoolage, I used to do the following: In order to reinforce something (bed on time, taking bath - whatever behavior was appropriate and troublesome at the time) we would choose an activity such as the museum, going swimming, etc. and for each day they were successful, a letter of the activity would be earned. When it was spelled out, we would go!

[Alex Luken]

I would create treasure hunts for the kids for no reason at all. The prize would be something simple, like soap bubbles, or a note that said "let's go for ice cream!" The clues would be things like "If we owned a penguin, we would keep it here" (freezer) or "Look where the house tiger buries it's treasure" (litter box), and the fun seemed to be in finding the next clue in unexpected places.

[Barb]

I enjoyed this article. We have a coyple family reunions coming up. Would sure be interested in reading about games or other that readers have done at their family reunions...Barb