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If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Setting resolutions: why an ambitious resolution might not necessarily be the right resolution. | Main | Nineteen tips for cheering yourself up -- from two hundred years ago. »

Comments

"...these tools also permit us to have relationships with people we would have otherwise have never known – and that’s very satisfying."

That is a great way to look at it. I feel the same way. How great is it we get to learn from so many people's unique perspectives?

BTW...great interview!

http://yinvsyang.com/

Dear Gretchen,
I'm visiting your web site for the first time today and feel it's quite a gift. Thank you!

Thanks so much for your kind words -- you made me very HAPPY!

Tyler: "I don't believe in working on being happy, I think it produces anxiety. I'm pretty happy but I also don't see happiness as an all-important value."

Well, he has always been happy, so of course he takes it for granted. For those of us who have often been unhappy, or suffer from chronic depression (which is a chemical disorder in the brain), we place a much higher premium on trying to attain happiness, because we do not have it. We may never have felt it. And we want to experience it, because we are miserably unhappy.

So good for him that his life has been mostly happy. That is great. He has been very lucky. But please realize that for some of us, happiness is something we desperately seek, and is a high priority in our life to achieve.

that 's very intersting!

that 's very intersting!

when persued - happiness seems illusive.

the only zen you find on the mountaintop is the zen you bring there."
- pirsig (ZMM)
there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way." Buddha

begin with happiness -choose happiness.

Great interview, a tribute to the relationships we form in the blogsphere and the value of them

Interesting interview--I was particularly struck by how he said that travel makes people "deeper" but not necessarily happier. I wonder if (especially for Americans) this might be because travel (particularly abroad) can often expose us to our own affluence and make us question social-generosity in terms of meaning and purpose in ways that we might not when isolated in our own society?

I think I agree on the travel issue. The first time I traveled alone I discovered the feeling of contentment. It's quieter than happiness but no less satisfying in it's own way.

I also learned that in my case, what I sometimes think is unhappiness or anxiousness is actually hunger. It was hard to see that until I was traveling alone and realized that I had to make time to eat at regular intervals.

A tip on happiness that's been missed.

http://www.energon.org.uk

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

9Rules

  • 9rules

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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