Happiness Project: Enjoy the process.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you should have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project. The Happiness Project is more than a book or a blog – it’s a way of life.

One of my favorite of my Twelve Commandments is “Enjoy the process.” I got this commandment from my father, because he’s reminded me to “Enjoy the process” so many times during my life. (His other main admonition: “Patience.”)

On our family trip to Denmark, I found a new application for this commandment. As we headed off to the airport, I announced to everyone, particularly myself, “Our trip starts NOW. Every part of this trip is part of the fun. We don’t need to fuss about spending a lot of time in the airport before we get on board, or traveling by car once we get to Denmark. The airport is part of the fun, and the car ride will be part of the fun. The time spent waiting in line to go on the canal tour is just as important as the canal tour itself.”

And actually, this really helped. By re-framing these marginal, disfavored parts of the trip, so that they were no longer inconveniences, but actually part of the action, I prevented myself from getting aggravated. Treating the Newark airport like a tourist attraction was surprisingly easy.

Now, would I have been able to keep up this attitude if our flight had been delayed for five hours? Or if the Big Girl started throwing up on the airplane, as she once memorably did? I doubt it. But during the normal course of events, it worked to make the usual wait times much nicer.

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There was a fascinating post about idea capture over at the terrific site LifeDev today.

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Comments

[Dave Z.]

I agree with making the airport part of the trip. I like to treat myself to a book I normally wouldn't buy or a fancy airport canteen of a restuarant that I normally wouldn't go. It certainly makes it a "destination" and especially with the long times preflight makes the airport more bearable.

[C...B...]

As a frequent biz traveler, I've found that throwing something new into a repeititive process keeps things fresh and me, happier. For example, instead of going straight to the gate to read, I try to visit a new place in the airport (ie. the chapels at JFK, the museum at Schipol in Amsterdam, etc).

To make the security screening more exciting, I've even left a sort of "love letter" to the TSA in my suitcase just to see if anyone would notice when they searched my bag. That definitely made the security search more interesting and me a bit giddy.

[Suzyn]

I used a similar re-framing tactic the first time I met my first boyfriend's parents (I'd been warned his mom might hate me, and... she did!) I kept telling myself "It's an adventure! It's an adventure!"

[Jenna]

When we traveled last month, I realized that I would have four hours (which became five) in the Chicago airport. I looked up available activities on-line & found that there was plenty for us to do - a children's museum, art displays, various shops & concourses. We made exploring the airport part of the trip & enjoyed it. Another travel tip is to not worry that food is more expensive in the airport - it just is & complaining won't make it any cheaper. We just ate & got on with exploring. Well-fed children are happier children.

[Pete]

I think everything can be a little more fun if we learn to look at it positively. I read a book when I was younger called "Power By Jake" or something like that. He is a personal trainer to the stars, and one thing from that book always stuck with me. He talked about turning everything into a game. Make it a challenge. Make it FUN.

I think that goes for life.

http://yinvsyang.com/

[Mark W.]

Thanks Gretchen for highlighting this commandment and giving us an example to demonstrate its usefulness to make us more happy. There's enough stress from outside sources without having to add to it by creating it ourselves.

[Alex Fayle]

I always take a picture when I get to the airport, get on the train, or am about to get in the car, that way I document the trip right from the beginning. It's a great physical reminder of the attitude you took this past trip.

Cheers,
Alex

[Rachel]

Hi Gretchen,

I experienced this enjoying of the process first hand yesterday while waiting in line for tickets to see "Hair." I got to Central Park a bit later than I had meant too, and the line, though spread out, was already probably a 1/4-mile long. However, I decided to stick around anyway since all I wanted to do was read and possibly see if I could get some writing done as well, and doing so in line was as good a place as any.

I ended up having a great time. The people next to me were really interesting and engaging, the weather was great, and it was all around a very relaxing, rewarding way to spend a Sunday morning. I did not expect that we would get tickets, but I did take note of additional things I hadn't thought of to bring for next time (sunscreen, hat, small pillow) just to make my next wait in line when I would make sure to get there early enough a little more comfortable.

But then, though I was trying not to allow myself to expect it, we ended up getting tickets anyway! And the show was fantastic, made even better by the day in the park leading up to it.

[Cynthia Clinton]

I like how you said your trip starts NOW. I am fond of saying, "The adventure begins beyond your door". Think if you took it a step further and applied "the adventure starts NOW" to your day upon waking!

Uh oh, I think this just inspired a blog. I'll link!

[KCCC]

This sparks a wonderful memory... a few years ago, they extended the amount of time that luggage had to be checked in before a flight at our airport, and between that and travel delays, we missed our flight. (We were in the airport 45 minutes before our flight, mind you, but missed our check-in time by TWO MINUTES. And of course the airline staff wouldn't budge.) We were re-routed to a flight the next day. (Fortunately, a trip to see family, not a business trip.)

We live several hours from the airport, and have to drive through a city renowned for its awful and unpredictable traffic. We'd gotten up very early to make the flight. The thought of driving home and doing it all again the next day made my stomach hurt.

So we took stock, and decided "our vacation begins NOW." Instead of driving back, we stayed in a hotel by the airport. We spent the day visiting a museum that we'd wanted to go to but somehow never found the time.

It was one of the best parts of our trip.