What I learned on my summer vacation – lesson #2

Lesson #2 was “Let it go.”

I’m a person who likes to have a schedule. I’m never tardy (in fact, the Big Man and I are almost pathologically prompt; even when we try to be fashionably late, we end up places right on time).

On our trip, however, the schedule didn’t run like clockwork. Part of it was the large number of children involved (between six and ten at different times, ranging from 9 years to 18 months). Someone once told me that if you’re trying to go from place to another, add ten minutes for each additional child – which would mean that if it would take the Big Man and I together ten minutes to leave for dinner, I should leave thirty minutes. I’m not sure that this formula actually works precisely, but the presence of so many kids definitely meant that took more effort to get going.

Also, people have different notions of what it means to say, “Let’s eat at 6:30.”

I found myself getting alternately anxious and annoyed when we found ourselves running late, or we didn’t leave at the particular time we’d discussed, or when we seemed to be milling about without direction. Time zone change or not, I got panicky when I realized that both my children were still awake at 11:00 at night.

Before long, however, my happiness-project training kicked in. I told myself, “We’re not in any rush,” “We have plenty of time,” “We’re having fun.” I reminded myself of some of my Twelve Commandments: “Let it go [the strict schedule]” and “Lighten up” and “Enjoy the process.”

I realized that fussing about it wouldn’t make a difference, except to dim other people’s fun in the trip. Including my own. Once I let go of my tendency to stick to a strict schedule, I felt much happier.

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Comments

[Mary Ellen]

On our honeymoon my husband and I were in a car accident, mainly because we were arguing about whether we should turn left or not.

Ever since then, whenever we're driving somewhere we make a special effort to keep in mind that even if we are lost, or late, or anxious, in the long run it doesn't really matter. It's more important to relax and enjoy what interesting scenery we might see. This usually happens on the weekend or on vacation, so our mantra is: "We're on vacation."

[Alex Fayle]

I have no problems letting the little things go. It's the big picture stuff that totally overwhelms me. Fortunately I'm balanced out by my boyfriend who is totally relaxed about the big stuff. And in return, I remind him to let go on the little things.

Great lesson learned - letting it go is especially important on vacation where schedules really aren't important.

[FupDuckTV]

Gretchen, I hate to say it, but you sound anything but relaxed during your trip. Words like "panicky, anxious and annoyed" are not HAPPY words. I realize that maintaining a daily schedule can be important to some people and a successfully planned day can make a person happy. But failure to maintain a schedule do to outside forces and other people is not something that should stress you out. Stressed people are rarely happy people. Follow #2 or your 12 alittle closer when on vacation. To be honest, try being late everyonce in a while in your day-to-day life (pick and choose when; some appointments are more important than others).

[Mary]

I am totally the same way when it comes to being prompt. My biggest pet peeve is being late to something. Showing up to the movies after the lights have gone down is simply unacceptable. But if I feel myself getting stressed, I take a deep breath and remind myself that it doesn't matter. It's such a small item in the grand scheme of things. So stick to your mottos and "let it go". Schedules are good - and necessary - a lot of the time, but you have to be able to make exceptions. Life is so much more fun when you can "let it go" when you need to.

[Jen Zingsheim]

"Pathologically prompt"--I love that phrase. Describes me and my boyfriend to a "T." My ex-husband will likely be late to his own funeral. It was a constant source of friction, as I was raised to believe that being on time is a sign of respect--and that the opposite is also true: to be late shows little respect for the time of those you are supposed to be meeting.

That said, I'm good about letting go on vacation, and I also take a step back/deep breath when I get lost and realize I am going to be late somewhere: it's not the end of the world!

Jen