The Happiness Project: Following my resolution to “Ask for help.”

The Happiness Project

THE HAPPINESS PROJECT is the memoir of the year I spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier – happily, it was a #1 New York Times bestseller. As one of the hundreds of experiments I've conducted, I started this blog. Here, I recount my daily adventures in pursuit of happiness. –

Gretchen Rubin

What Started Me Thinking

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
“Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
“Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
Sartre: "Hell is other people."
Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Outstretchedhand One of my most helpful resolutions is to “Ask for help” (no surprise!) I don’t know why I find this so difficult, but I do -- whether it’s advice about what to do, or technical support for how to do it, or general explanations about how things work.

But today I’m going to “Ask for help” in getting the word out about my blog. Word of mouth is the most persuasive form of recommendation. If you could spare the time and energy, I’d so appreciate it if you’d email the link to The Happiness Project to people you think would be likely to enjoy it.

Or if you subscribe to my monthly newsletter, please consider forwarding them the newsletter.

I hesitated to ask for this help, with the thought, “Of course, people can always forward the link to their friends, whenever they want. Why bug them about something they can already do?”

But I realized that, in my own life, I often need someone to remind me of a helpful task I can perform. I’m willing to do it, it just wouldn’t occur to me unless someone suggested it.

I remember once, after I told a friend that I’d loved his new book, he asked, very delicately, if I’d consider writing an Amazon review. I was thrilled to write the review, but I wouldn’t have thought of it myself, so I was very pleased that he mentioned it.

So…I’m asking! Please help me spread the word about The Happiness Project. Thank you!

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I always like to check out Get Rich Slowly.

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

this is a can (and will) do.

Posted by: LarryG | September 15, 2008 at 03:31 PM

yay, please link this blog

http://www.thatmanfranz.blogspot.com

thx

Posted by: bubu | September 15, 2008 at 05:15 PM

I acknowledge you for asking for something that was tough for you. Good for you!

I WILL spread the word about you, your blog and the Happiness Project. I have already and will continue to share it with friends and other readers I know will find an interest in your work.

Posted by: Paige | September 15, 2008 at 07:33 PM

Am pleased to spread the word! And have through my blog, twitter, and some other mom sites that I post to.

Posted by: momsreality | September 15, 2008 at 08:41 PM

Have been reading your happiness project for a while and would like to connect/invite you for some shows with us. Perhaps it will achieve two things
1. get the word on your work out to over a 2000 regular listeners worldwide
2. spark new ideas from a collaboration with like minded individuals

please see our work at www.radicalchangegroup.com

May we speak?

Posted by: m | September 15, 2008 at 11:58 PM

Always happy to help you out, Gretchen! I will tweet you periodically through the day today.

Cheers
Alex

Posted by: Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome | September 16, 2008 at 03:23 AM

Hey Gretchen!

Thank you for sending me the resolution charts by email! I am for sure going to adapt them and use them for 2009.

Hm, at this point I am still trying to convince my friends to read blogs, use RSS etc. (I am Dutch, living in Belgium, and I have the feeling that blogs are just not as common here). But I forwarded an article from your blog by email recently and will continue to do so on occasion (sending specific articles to specific people).

Best of luck and I really appreciate your writing (it's one of 15 blogs i allow myself to be subscribed to, to avoid being flooded by articles).

Hannah

Posted by: Hannah | September 16, 2008 at 04:01 AM

Thanks so much for the help! I can tell from my RSS subscribers, newsletter sign-ups, Feedblitz sign-ups, etc. that a lot of new people have discovered my blog -- thanks to everyone's help. I really appreciate it!

Posted by: Gretchen Rubin | September 16, 2008 at 08:54 AM

I recommended you to my friends on Twitter!

Posted by: Tim Walker | September 16, 2008 at 09:49 AM

Love your article. What can help create more happiness than balance??

I was such a Self-Sufficient that I wrote a book about it. Hope you'll take a look. It's called Help Is Not a Four-Letter Word: Why Doing It All is Doing You In. On my website I offer a bunch of FREE articles on this subject so please "help yourself".

Glad to find your Blog.
Peggy Collins
www.helpisnotafourletterword.com

Posted by: Peggy Collins | September 16, 2008 at 11:41 AM

I'm going to make you my 'site of the month' in my October newsletter. I will also link to you from my blog.
Much love
Heather x

Posted by: Heather Bestel | September 16, 2008 at 02:48 PM

Definitely good advice I'm going to start doing myself.

Posted by: Leighna | September 16, 2008 at 05:23 PM

More good stuff, for sure, I will put you in my msn nick so people will click on your blog :)

Posted by: Bernie | September 24, 2008 at 03:23 PM

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