New blog feature -- the True Rules series! Plus video clips!

My father often talks about “True Rules.” For example, when I started working after college, he said, “It’s one of the True Rules – if you’re willing to take the blame, people will give you responsibility.” And in my experience that rule has certainly turned out to be true.

I love True Rules, and I recently started writing them down whenever I heard them. These aren’t general rules for living, like “Enjoy every day.” They’re more specific and concrete.

My sister spouts these rules regularly. “People succeed in groups.” “Everyone who moves from New York to Los Angeles gains ten pounds.” “You don’t get a writing job in L.A. until you’ve lived here for three years.” “Everything you’ve heard about L.A. is more true than you could possibly imagine.”

Just yesterday, a friend mentioned a rule to me, “When I was studying ballet, we said that for every week we took off from training, we needed a week to get back to our previous condition.” Another friend has a very controversial rule, “Every guy deserves a second date.”

So I’m going to start a new series, the True Rules series. We can all learn from each other. And I find these rules illuminating and deliciously interesting.

It’s going to be a VIDEO series. To figure out how to do this, I had to remind myself of several happiness-project resolutions: “Learn to do something new,” “Enjoy the fun of failure,” and “Ask for help.”

A friend who writes the fascinating blog In Case of Emergency, Read Blog told me that posting video clips was easy. I got a Flip camera and fiddled around with it. Then I called him to get his advice. He was right, it is easy! (Assuming I pull this off, see below.)

Then I asked another friend, Michael Melcher – author of the terrific book The Creative Lawyer – to provide the first video clip. I love his two True Rules.

You can see that I'm just getting the hang of this camera -- I'll have better production values next time. I'm just so pleased with myself that I figured out how to post the clip!

*
Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[Avani-Mehta]

Sounds very interesting. Looking forward to the true rules.

[Linda]

Great idea for a project and great job with your first production!

[Jennifer]

True rule for me--somebody has it worse than me. It doesn't matter what happens in my life, public kid meltdown, fired from a job, car accident etc. there is someone in this world that would take my place, with it's little life annoyance, than be where they are.

When I feel myself carping about traffic, I think, it's better than being in jail; kid problems, I think I could have a terimally ill child; when I feel like my home is falling apart and against me I think I could be homeless.

So whenever I start feeling sorry for myself, I always remember--someone else has it worse.

[Chris at HumanKind Media]

This is so good. My true rule is share your appreciation when someone does something really cool. This is really cool! I can't wait for more.

[Ashley]

I love it! I've got a friend who I'm pretty sure has memorized the True Rule Handbook- she seems to have one for every situation. There are always the weight rules for when adulthood starts to set in- Freshman 15 (15lbs gained for college freshman), and the Newlywed 9 (9lbs gained within the first year). I can't wait to see what you've got coming!

[Annette]

A true rule of video editing, which I think applies to other things too:

Whatever amount of time you have to do a certain task, that's how long it will take you to do it.

[Kristen card]

Love the True Rules! The first one I thought of is something I taught my daughter when she was in kindergarten, and she still mentions it, five years later (and I hope for many years to come!):
If one boy wants you to do something because he thinks it's funny, it's probably not a good choice.
If more than one boy wants you to do something because they think it's funny, it's *definitely* not a good choice -- don't do it!!
She learned this lesson the hard way, when she was caught kicking boys in the pants on the playground, and her defense was, "But they *wanted* me to!" ;D

[Alex Fayle]

Great series! I look forward to seeing more. And maybe once you get the hang of the tech part, you could open up a YouTube group or something where people can upload their own True Rules and you can feature the best here on the blog. I know *I'd* post some!

Cheers,
Alex

[gorgeousophie]

Sorry guys, is this a case of emperor's new clothes practical joke?! Cos I cannot see anything but a great white gap! Whereas all of you comment upon something...which therefore must exist in this virtual realm! And am very curious and thus quite fabulously frustrated! Heeelp!

[Gretchen Rubin]

I love these True Rules. I look forward to having a million of these!

but oh dear, GorgeousSophie sees nothing. I'll try to figure out what the problem is.

[Maria Helm]

GorgeousSophie may be having a technical problem, but her issue dovetails with mine. I can't watch/listen to videos at work. Our firewall blocks them. They don't, however, seem to have a problem with me reading the blog entries. I will understand if you decide the new series must be video-only, but I would like to take this moment to at least ask if you would post a transcript, or at least the "true rule" discussed, with each video. Thanks!

[Shadowduck]

Nice idea, it'll be interesting to see what comes of it. I'd like to add my voice to the requests for a text transcript as I can't see video at work either!

[Meg Renicker]

Sorry, I also only see white space. Is it due to the firewall at work not allowing them thru?

[saraj]

I came over from my RSS reader to specifically say I love this idea.
But as I am mostly deaf I have a love-hate relationship with video blogs. So add my vote for a transcript.

Also, YouTube has technology that now allows you to add captions/subtitles to your videos. An happy development for me, but even more work for a author.

[Becciebeth]

Yeah Gretchen!!!
I love True Rules. I always thought I knew many until I met my Father-in-law. I joke that they are his Ten Commandments. I would love to send a video clip. WOO-HOO!!
P.S. I do seem to find that many people who have True Rules don't always seem to live up to them. It's more of what they expect from others. Any thoughts on this?
Becciebeth

[stacy]

oooh, I can't stand it when people from LA do that whole "evvvvverybody knows such and such about LA..." B.S.!! I lived in LA for 7 years, worked in the entertainment industry at a management firm handling well known actors and writers, and then left the industry to pursue a more creative field (yes, Hollywood is not creative in the least). People who work in entertainment live in this little bubble and they seem to have no concept of a world beyond theirs. Hey, newsflash: there are millions of people in LA who make their living doing OTHER things and most everyone hates entertainment industry people because they are so self-obsessed. And gain weight? Hardly! I quit smoking and started hiking and swimming in the ocean when I moved to LA, and now that I don't live there anymore I miss the wonderfully fresh, organic, and simple California cooking. If you gain weight on that diet then you have some issues...

[Carolp56]

I love the idea of True Rules!
I have a Flip camera also. One tip I have is that you need to make sure that the light is in front of the face of the person you are filming or you will not be able to see their face very well. Once the video is compressed for YouTube it worsens.
Good luck!

[Gretchen Rubin]

Thanks for the tip for the Flip camera, very useful. I'll keep that in mind.

To Stacy's point: part of the fun of the True Rules, for me, is that people take bold stands. It's more fun for me to hear "People moving from NY to LA gain ten pounds" than "People who move from NY to LA, but who don't replace the sidewalk walking that they used to do with hikes in the mountains or swims in the ocean, or who don't adjust their diets, will tend to gain weight." I like the rash, broad statement -- even when I don't agree with it. That's why I love Samuel Johnson. But hey, that's me.

I will post a "transcript" for those who can't see the video. These will be super-short, so it will only be a line or two. But so annoying not to be able to look at something!

[ChrissyPrincess]

I always remember my father's, which I believe was actually from Abe Lincoln.
"when you tell the truth, you don't have to remember what to say."

[PNWGal]

I love these two rules. I follow rule #1 religiously. I would add, if you like it you will eat it and so you don't need to worry about it going bad.

The second rule I think is good advice. As someone once told my husband you are never going to be "ready" for kids so just do it.

[MiniExec]

My Dad always said "water seeks its own level." As a kid, I never paid much attention to what it really meant, but it sure resonates now!

[Natalie]

Here's a "true rule" I've found: Don't wait until you've lost weight.

If you're waiting till you're thinner before going for that job, taking up dancing, learning to sail, trying that sport, etc ... well, guess what, you'll NEVER lose the weight, cos nobody loses weight sitting at home. Just go DO it and you'll find that (1) you didn't need to be skinny, there's plenty of normal people like you doing all these things, and (2) you'll be happier and busier and will then lose weight without trying anyway.

This rule can be extended to all sorts of situations where we artificially limit ourselves -- because of being too old, young, not having the right clothes, not knowing enough, etc, etc, etc.

[Penisa]

strict influence buddy. trust to get more from your side :)

[Penille]

However, like with any good and effective penis enlargement pill it will take time for you to see any effect to your penis size. At a rough estimate it should be around 3-4 weeks but can take longer depending on the person.

[Jennifer]

I love the concept of this story, but I don't really understand why you felt it needed to be video.