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Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Your Happiness Project: Enjoy the fun of failure. | Main | Why it might not be helpful to ask yourself, "What's my passion?" »

Constantly checking the stock market does not bring happiness.

StockmarketToday, I found myself unable to resist the urge constantly to check the stock market. I’m no finance whiz, so it’s not as if the Dow Jones Industrial Average number is terribly meaningful to me, other than to know that up is good, down is bad, and very down is very bad.

When I was writing in a coffee shop, I kept checking my laptop. When I was working out at the gym, I kept looking at the screens of people watching CNBC. When I got home, I kept checking.

I realized that this wasn’t productive or helpful. In many cases, it’s important to read bad news, because it’s necessary to being an informed citizen. But in this case, I was a rubbernecker on the economic highway, unable to stop myself from slowing down to watch the wreck.

As a consequence, I was making myself unhappy. Each time I saw the bad numbers, I got hit by a wave of anxiety – what did this mean? At the same time, I was frittering away my valuable time, and to no purpose; this kind of constant monitoring wasn’t telling me anything that I couldn’t find out at the end of the day. I’m not working in the market myself.

Nevertheless, even though I could see that this behavior wasn’t helpful, especially from a happiness-project perspective, I just couldn’t resist. On a brighter note: as I write this, the news has gotten better than it was several hours ago. I know that because I just checked. Again.

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If you're in the mood to read about personal finance, check out Get Rich Slowly, The Simple Dollar, and Wise Bread. All members of the fabulous LifeRemix network, too.

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

Here's a crazy argument: Constantly checking the stock market does not bring happiness ... even when the market is going UP.

This claim comes out of some thinking about drivers of happiness, which I've read here (thank you :)) and in positive psych literature (aren't gratitude and kindness to others the weightiest drivers?) ... and about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation (not sure how intrinsically rewarding watching the market values would be to people other than Warren Buffett).

Watching the market go up, I'd wager, may bring about positive mood, making one more confident and willing to spend money, but that positive mood wouldn't sustain.

I'm dealing with this too. I find myself hitting refresh every couple minutes. It's especially hard to ignore it when everyone at work is all atwitter.

We had a nice 500pt swing back up from -800pts down. That's a reason to be happy. A -370 day is better than a -800 day!

I just watch the finance news in the evening. These days it basically consists of watching storm clouds gather over the US and our own Federal Treasurer Mr. Swan standing there with a maniac grin and telling us that everything-will-be-alright.

Not very resureing when he looks like he hasn't slept well in weeks.

It's also a good idea to avoid constantly checking your 401k balance. It's hard to resist, but don't panic and move your money or stop investing. The people who lost big money in the great depression are the ones who panicked and sold.

I now have two things that I am addicted to constantly checking and reading on the internet:
1. Wall Street, for fear of losing our life savings.
2. The Republican Vice Presidential candidate, for fear of her being 'a heartbeat away from becoming the President'.

I really enjoy reading your blog and have taken away many positive approaches and mindsets.

I just had to comment to let you know that this post was a great one - I love to see your human side! You realize that you are engaging in non-happiness producing behavior and while you know you need to change it, you just aren't. But you will. And we are on the road to changing our behaviors too. But every once in a while...we just have to compulsively check on something.

Happy week to you!

You've hit on a great point here: stop doing things that make you unhappy.

I realized a while ago that I don't have the stomach to manage our stock portfolio...so now, it's my husband's job. He's more level-headed and is less emotional, so it made sense for him to take on that responsibility.

I also don't watch political news coverage anymore. I've already made up my mind who I'm voting for in November and when I hear political pundits tear apart my candidate, it really upsets me. So I just don't do it (and that includes following the latest polls).

I've been watching that roller coaster ride for a while now. I was even considering buying Wachovia stock last week. But yeah it is actually the opposite of happiness.

I think it's really distracting me and a lot of other people and I agree...we should all stop for a bit.

During this time I recommend everyone to meditate on this scripture:

Matthew 6:25-26 AMP "Therefore I tell you, stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?"

Many blessings to all,

Art Gonzalez
Check my Squidoo Lens at: http://www.squidoo.com/quantumknights

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

9Rules

  • 9rules

LifeRemix

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What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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