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If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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Comments

Went thru the exact same thing with a friend at my day job yesterday. We're talking & talking politics & the election. Then she drops on me how she's not voting as her vote doesn't matter (here in the State of NY). Weirded me out to hear it.

Thanks for a great post. All very important ways to act and behave during the election cycle.

I talk with people all the time that complain about how unhappy they are each and every day. Then I find out they are news junkies. They watch everything over and over. The news focuses on negatives almost to the exclusion of positives. This gives us a false sense of reality. Life is so much better than what the news paints for us....

I also live in the state of NY and can relate to the thoughts of people who don't believe their vote will really matter. I vote for a number of reasons regardless of media opinion or poll numbers including 1) fellow Americans have sacrificed their lives and time to make it possible for me to cast my ballot and 2) I just enjoy seeing fellow members of the community and the poll workers at the polls. I actually look forward to going to the polls and don't view it as some kind of onerous task by any stretch.
Go vote!!!

I too was amazed by how few people voted in our last election here in the UK.
I feel passionately that we must use our vote, especially as I am a woman. It's not just to utilise my right, but as a way of paying dues to those who came before to fight for my right. Some of whom lost their lives for their beliefs.
Good luck and I'll be thinking of you all next week.
Heather

A study (I read on SciAm mag) showed that people who vote are happy because it gives them sense of control.

It works if you believe that your vote really is important.

Ironically, the way I feel calm about the outcome is to spend time thinking/empathizing about why people would vote for the candidate I did not vote for (I voted early). By understanding someone else's perspective (about half the country's perspective!), it helps me see the election more dispassionately and be more calm about it!

Even today, in parts of the world, people don't have the rights we have.

Even if it seems that a few votes can't influence the presidential election, what about local elections? Next week, I'll vote for US president -- and also on programs specific to my county.

Gretchen - thanks for writing about the election without taking political sides.

I jumped to a linked post, "Do You Love To Vote?"
http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2006/11/do_you_love_to_.html

"I love the ritual aspect—the whole country going through an experience together. It’s like the Super Bowl."

Very funny. Had to share again in this election year :P

I have realized that for me it is very hard to stick to my point of view when people around start actively discussing the topic (especially if they do so in aggressive manner) - I just feel distracted and no more know who to believe and what to think. Sometimes I prefer to be given only the amount of information to make my opinion - no less, but no more as well...

Wow Gretchen, you blew me away when you said "do something worthy of your own respect". I don't know if you put that in there quite deliberately or it naturally sprang from your wealth of words and wisdom, but I'm hanging my hat on that beautiful bit of advice. I even e-mailed it to me, just so I'd be sure to remember what you said.

Love that second point, dear. Very nice.

I am late at commenting, but I really wanted to thank you for this post. I too am suffering from election anxiety. I realized I had to stop the non stop news reports. It was making me crazy. thanks for bringing it home to me.

and I voted early. Always, ALWAYS Vote! It does matter!!

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

9Rules

  • 9rules

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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