Why it might not be helpful to ask yourself, "What's my passion?"

Last night, after spending an unproductive day monitoring the stock market, I went to a talk by the brilliant Daniel Pink, hosted by the Japan Society. Daniel Pink has written three provocative, fascinating books on the changing nature of work: Free Agent Nation, A Whole New Mind, and most recently, The Adventures of Johnny Bunko.

In The Adventures of Johnny Bunko, Daniel Pink used the comics form, and although I don’t generally enjoy reading comics, I’m very interested the potential of comics to deliver information and tell a story. (In fact, I hope to include a short comics section in The Happiness Project book.)

Last night’s talk was about manga (a form of comics), which was fascinating. But Dan Pink’s most interesting observation came during the Q and A period, in response to a question about careers.

A twenty-something guy in the audience asked whether he should stay in a job that, although the people and the work were interesting, and the pay was good, wasn’t his passion.

I’m paraphrasing, but in part Dan Pink answered, “I never ask myself ‘What’s my passion?’ That question is too huge. It’s not helpful.”

I think that’s absolutely correct. One of my happiness-project resolutions is to “Think big,” but sometimes you can paralyze yourself by asking big, unanswerable questions.

When someone asks me for career advice (and I’ve been known to volunteer this advice, even unasked!), I say, “Do what you DO. What do you do already, in your free time? Try to do that as your job.” In my case, although as a Supreme Court clerk I surely had one of the most fascinating jobs for a lawyer, on the weekends, I was writing a book. This was a helpful clue as to a profession I might enjoy. I have a friend who always felt guilty in law school, because he was wasting so much time playing video games; after graduation, he gave up a prestigious clerkship to work for a – you guessed it – video game company.

A friend told me that she was going to try to get a job as an editor of a women’s magazine like Vogue. “Do you read those magazines?” I asked in surprise. I’d never seen her read anything like that. “Nope,” she said. I didn’t say anything, but I wondered – would she be good at helping to create those magazines, if she never chose to spend her time reading them?

It can be hard to identify your “passion,” but you can identify what you did last Sunday afternoon. “Do what you do” is useful because it directs you to look at your behavior, rather than to your ideas – which can be a clearer guide to preferences. It’s not possible for everyone, but to have work that is play, and play that is work, is a very, very happy state.

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Comments

[Gayle]

Gretchen, this is really great advice. Just the other day, my daughter asked me if I would go back to work at an office when she and her brothers were older. I told her that I hope not. Working in an office was something that I was good at, but it gave me no happiness.

[Heather]

Great advice, Gretchen! This is something I've been struggling with myself. When your ultimate goal is something like "understand the universe" it's hard to know how to translate that down. Working from the bottom up as well, so to speak, the two ideas should meet in the middle - or something? :-)

Actually very similar to advice from a physics professor of mine, who said, "What do you think about when you're sitting on the toilet? Because that's what you *want* to think about."

[Missy]

What if I spend my free time laying in a hammock and daydreaming??? ;-)

[Suzanne Carter, Ph.D.]

Delightful post. You and Mr. Pink are right on the money.

[MJ]

I enjoyed this post, because I have noticed very much that I NEVER think about my job when I'm not doing it - there is no passion there at all, just tolerance (kind of like a financially comfortable but loveless marriage). However, I'm also not so sure about my passions - writing, cooking, creative work, gardening, animals, working with my hands? All wonderful things. All things that our economy does not value in the least for the vast majority of such workers, and I don't want to live in a tar paper Unibomber shack in Montana. Until I get a better exit plan, I think I'm staying in the comfortable and loveless office marriage. So it goes.

[DG]

I like this post, Gretchen. It is a huge question. One I've been trying with limited success to answer. I'm glad your working on this - your discoveries and posts keep me working on it instead of giving up.

[Lyrehca]

As someone who has worked at several women's magazines, the woman who wants to work at Vogue will never get anywhere if she doesn't love the magazine inside and out. Editorial jobs at glossies are too competitive for someone to just waltz in and think she'll get one without being passionate and strategic about it.

[B J Keltz]

I really like having that question re-phrased and didn't realize until I read this post that this is exactly what I had done. Laying in a hospital, thankful for my life, I realized that most of my spare time was not spent on some grand passion, but on writing, which is my everyday passion, and keeping an insightful and reflective journal. I hope soon to "do what I do" full time, which is to show others the benefits of journaling.

Thank you, Gretchen!

BJ Keltz

[Valerie]

I found this post very thought provoking. Gave me one of those so called by some AHA moments. Very brave from you to post about a theme that so many have written before but with a much different conclusion.

[anna]

You might really like Scott McCloud's books on comics. They're really good. I think that manga gets a lot of respect in the US because it's used for adults as well as children overseas, and as a art form, is highly valued in its parent country. And it's very marketable - it's used to tell a lot of different kinds of stories. But the US comic (or illustrated text) tradition has typically been geared towards children, so it's not seen as often for "serious" work.

Comics are an amazing way to convey a message: there are things you can do in comic form that you can't really do as well in words. But check out the McCloud books and se what you think.

[jane]

Hmmm - not sure if I agree with this advice in all circumstances. I have known several people who have had their passions ruined by doing them day-in and day-out (most of my examples come from the publishing industry - a love of books is diminished after reading slush piles all day). I like my job and it pays well and I get to solve puzzles/mysteries all day (I'm a software programmer), but my passions are reserved for my free time. I don't want to burden them with a paycheck.

[Kim - Dancing B*A*G Lady]

Gosh Gretchen I needed this post tonight.

My big hairy 1000 lb gorilla questions have been weighing me down. I always know that it's right in front of my nose, but I think complicated means "huge break though".

Just last week I wrote in my journal what I liked doing and what I did in my free time. LISTEN, CREATE, WRITE, TELL STORIES, DANCE, EMPOWER.

So, I'll be a dancing story teller that let's others dance and tell their stories, which will empower them to write down what they like to do. I will write about my experiences.

I'll try not to over think it.

[Marty Nemko]

"Do what you do" is fine advice--but it usually won't pay a subsistence living. To take your examples: For everyone who likes to write and makes a middle-class living from it, there are 10,000 who don't. For everyone who plays video games and then makes a middle-class living at it, there are 10,000 who don't.

The right answer is that, within a wide range of pursuits, any job can be enjoyable enough--as long as it's moderately difficult, feels meaningful, you have a decent boss and coworkers, and it pays reasonably.

[Adam Steer, Momentum Wellness]

I think a good way to define how passionate you are about an activity is to look at how much time and effort you want to put into learning about it and practicing it. So in a way, what you DO is often a pretty good correlate to what you are passionate about.

A few years ago my wife and I took up swing dancing. I was crazy about it. I drooled over workshops and classes that I wanted to do. I danced as much as I could. Within the year I was GIVING the classes. That was passion at work... I was also what I was DOING with my free time.

I don't think passion is an ethereal concept. It's a reflection of what gets you excited in daily life.

Cheers,
Adam

[nudgeme]

Spot on post Gretchin. In my experience, asking people who don't enjoy their job what their passion is often leads to a blank expression, whereas asking them what they enjoy doing gets them on the road to thinking about what their passion might be much more quickly. The other point is that often people are too busy trying to juggle their life and keep their head above water to feel they can 'indulge' (as they often see it) in thinking about their passion whereas a conversation about what you enjoyed about your w/end is fine.

I really enjoy your blog Gretchin - another great post.

[Angela]

Gretchen, you have joined Henry David Thoreau as my favorite applied philosophers. Reading your blogs has helped me to become the person I want to be.

[andrea from the fishbowl]

Ha. Good post. The topic of career passion is one I hear at many a dinner party, but it's often posed like this: What were your favourite things to do when you were ten years old, and are you doing them today in your job?

The idea being, that if you are doing what you did when you were ten, you're likely to be happiest in your line of work. i.e. children who loved animals become vets, writers become writers, athletes got into sports medicine etc.

Interesting stuff!

As for me, I was writing when I was ten. It took me awhile to get back around to it, but that's what I'm doing now and I love it.

[Elizabeth M. Johnson]

I agree only in part with Pink on this one.From my experience (as a life coach working with women on building self-esteem by strengthening body image), I have found that is is helpful for women in the very beginning of their self-growth work to ask "what's my passion?". Most of the time for these newbies, considering such a question is an essential one to getting to know their authentic self. They haven't considered what they were passionate before so it's a good starting point. That said it can be too huge or even detrimental for the woman who has already spent plenty of time on her personal growth work. Then, considering passions can be just one more reason to keep talking or thinking about doing something instead of actually doing it.

[Eric]

Gretchen,

Thanks for documenting your happiness project. BTW I follow you on twitter (@DaddyOh).

For some, asking what is your passion, is like asking, who do you know that has blue eyes! The question is just too large. I’ve found it useful for myself and for my life coaching customers to help them discover their fundamental core strengths. Not necessarily what they are good out today, but more importantly what strengths come from the way their DNA is wired. Two easy ways to do this is to use a series of exercises to take them back to when they were 5 or 6 years old and find out what made them happy at that age. Another way is to use the StrengthFinder 2.0 assessment. I tend to use both. You can find more about StrengthFinder 2.0 on Amazon books.

Core strengths are important to happiness because happiness, we have discovered, is really when you’re job, hobby or life activities are such that you can get into “the flow”. When you do, time distorts, distractions melt away, and you become one with what you are doing. And to do this well, you need to align your life with your strengths. Don’t let others define you. Let you define who you are and work towards leveraging your core strengths. When you want to get to the highest level of happiness, the get into “the flow” doing something meaningful for others.

You might want to watch the Martin Seligman Ted Video: What positive psychology can help you become!

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html
to hear the happiness views of the leader in positive psychology.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I LOVE Scott McCloud and have read all his books about comics. The funny thing is, I don't like reading comics, but I'm fascinated by the theory of comics. I thinking UNDERSTANDING COMICS is a book that just about everyone would find thought-provoking, on many different levels.

Marty raised the point that most people can't make a living doing what they do for fun. Maybe not. But from what I've seen, when people TRY to aim at the kind of job they most dream of doing (even if it's a long shot, like acting), they fail in the right direction. They don't end up in the job they wanted originally, but they find other, related jobs which they enjoy greatly. A would-be actor becomes a voice-over specialist, or a high-school acting teacher, or gets a job in set design.

The problem of saying to yourself, "Hey, I'll never make a decent living playing multi-player on-line video games, so I think I'd better be an accountant is that A) you burn out and switch careers later, because you just can't stand it anymore, B) there's no guarantee that being an accountant will continue to be a good job, anyway, and C) you probably won't be a very good accountant, because you're not especially interested in it. So you'll never really be a master of your job.

If you fail in the right direction, your natural interests keep you engaged, learning, and acting positive with other people.

It's true, of course, that many people just want a "good job." They're not particularly inclined in any direction. I'm talking about people who feel a pull in a certain direction.

And of course there are many, many people who just need to get a JOB. In that case, of course, getting the best job situation is the best option.

[Sandra Freeman]

Gretchen,

For most of my life, people have talked about finding their passion. I loved doing so many things(art related) that there was nothing I wanted to give all my time and efforts. Needless to say, I was not very good at anything.

In the last 9 months I have found my passion. It was there all the time; however, it took the right teacher, the right tools and total mental commitment on my part. I am very passionate about my fine art photography. Creating a website (www.SandraFreemanPhotography.com)on which to display my images gave me great joy. It makes me happy to see the results of my time and effort.

[My Two Cents]

I think the idea of working at your passion is especially important because so many jobs demand very long hours, well beyond the stereotyped 40 hour week. Added to family responsibilities, household chores, fitness activities and long commute times there is very little time left over for indulging any passions outside of work. Sadly I think many people don't know what their passion is because they have never had time to find out!

[jenny]

Very interesting post, and comments, too.
I agree, the "passion" question is too big for some, me included. It stops me in my tracks, it feels too weighted with expectation. Your question is somehow less loaded, there's less pressure.

It also leads to the question "what would I enjoy doing?" I find that doing a job I don't enjoy very much, for an organisation that doesn't appreciate me or my work, sucks the enjoyment out of my life. I'm gradually learning to build things into my life that, like another commenter says, help me balance my life. So if I don't have much to say in answer to "what do you do [that you enjoy]", it's a wake up call to work out what I do enjoy, to try a few things, to see what I like.

I agree that one's passion/what one enjoys may not pay. But it is worth exploring.

Someone told me to analyse, for each job I've done, what I've liked and what I haven't. She said there would be a pattern. Another good thing I should do if I could make the time.

Thanks for provoking some interesting thoughts!

[Karl]

Hi Gretchen,
This is great advice!

[vinny]

Great advice. Though, I would probably modify that last sentence. Instead of "It’s not possible for everyone," I would say "It's not possible for the vast majority of people." Otherwise, we'd all be in the entertainment business in one form or another. Writers, actors, athletes, toy designers, video game creators, etc.

Gretchen's Oct. 11 comment is probably also a good modifier. Even if you can't have a dream job, you might find something related. If you've always wanted to be an astronaut and are a "space dork," but just couldn't do it and wound up being a lawyer, maybe be a lawyer for NASA or Lockheed Martin or whatever. I think something like that is much more doable than pursuing the actual dream itself. Or... similarly, if someone wanted to be a toy designer, maybe be a lawyer for a toy company?