Your Happiness Project: Dealing with Post-Election Blues.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

No matter what happens on November 4th, a lot of people are going to be elated, and a lot of people are going to be dejected. What can you do if you’re worried that you’re going to fall into a major depression on November 5th?

You can take comfort from an area of research in the fairly new field of positive psychology, infelicitously named affective forecasting, which examines how people predict their future emotional states. It turns out that when we try to forecast our emotional state in the future, we tend to overestimate how horrible or how great we’re going to feel as a consequence of a certain outcome.

For example, studies have examined college students’ reactions to a loss by their school’s football team, and young professors’ reactions to not making tenure, and even the reactions of people who tested positive for HIV, and it turns out that people consistently overestimated how upsetting bad news would be (or how uplifting good news would be).

When you focus on just one aspect of the future – say, the identity of the President – you give this fact more prominence than it will actually have in your life. The identity of the President is important, but it won’t be the only thing that you think about on November 5, and December 12, and March 19, etc.

So if you’ve been telling everyone that if The Other Candidate wins, you’re going to move to Canada or Switzerland, remember that on November 5th, you probably won’t feel as devastated as you expect.

If you’d like to read more about this topic, check out Daniel Gilbert’s Stumbling on Happiness and Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener’s Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth.

Or do you dismiss the studies? I told a friend of mine about this research, and he said, “You can survey all the college students you want, but if things don’t go the way I want in this election, I’m going to be depressed for a year.” How do you predict you’re going to feel, when the votes are cast?

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[thatcoolbroad]

Interesting post...and obviously very timely. I promised myself after the last election that I was done with politics. I wasn't EVER going to get as emotionally invested in another election because last time it disrupted my life for almost a month before the election.

But even with the best intentions, I somehow find myself back on that rollercoaster. Maybe it's too much to expect that I could completely ignore a presidential campaign.

So what I've done is to pretend that the other guy wins...so I'm not checking those damn polls every three hours. I've acknowledged and made peace with my disappointment. And if my guy wins...it'll be a pleasant surprise.

It reminds me of Goldie Hawn's character in that movie "Best Friends" with Burt Reynolds. She admitted that she pretended both her parents were dead, so that when it actually happened, she wouldn't be so devastated.

I wonder what a good shrink would think of my approach?

[Vickie]

I invested a great deal of time in the 2004 election and was devastated by the result. My coping strategy was to simply avoid thinking about it as much as possible. I told friends, I can always grieve next spring, but now I have to get up and go to work. Being involved in our democracy is exciting and more importantly, a well informed electorate makes better decisions.

So we to read about their positions and vote every chance we get. Losing an election is not the end of the world. It's an opportunity to improve for the next election, be it policies or candidates.

[Heather Bestel]

This is a great post Gretchen.

It reminds me of the way I work with my clients when they are worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.

We imagine the worse case senario and how they will cope. Just knowing that they will cope, allows them to let go of a lot of the worry.

And it nevers seems as bad as they thought it would, when it actually happens.

Heather x

[Jayne]

When things look like they aren't going to work out the way I want, I ask myself, "Well, would it really be the end of the world?". And it never is. Doesn't mean that it isn't hard...but it gives me some perspective and keeps me thinking, "I can get through this."

As for the election, I'm not American but am nevertheless watching with great interest. It was a very happy day indeed when Australia had a change of government nearly a year ago, after 10 long years of Liberal government (i.e. the conservative party). But now...well, it's hard to know whether to be happy or not when it turns out that although the party you voted for won the election, you really don't like the man who leads the party! (Aussies don't get to vote for their PM.)

[molly]

And then there are folks like me who won't even contemplate the election not going the way we want it to. Just won't go there.

I think it's true though that it is hard to predict particular effects on happiness, but for me it is uplifting when I feel I have someone to cheer, someone to admire.

[sylrayj]

In ten years, will it matter? In twenty? A friend posted a link about 23 Mau and I looked it up - a massive massacre, and before I'd read the link it wasn't even in my awareness. Truly horrible, and yet next week probably something else will have come to the forefront. Life moves forward, inexorably, and will carry us along with the tide. There are plenty of things to fret about if we really want, but no matter how the election goes, you know that your new President has been raised as an American and holds many common values to you. Some things will change, but almost all will stay the same. Ride on...

[The Healthy Librarian]

Yikes! It's uncanny how people simultaneously can share the same thoughts. I was taking a little break before writing a similar post about how inaccurate we are in forecasting our own emotional states when we try to predict how we'll feel when bad times hit: like job loss, divorce, home foreclosure, injury, etc. You applied the theory to the upcoming election, and I was applying it to these scary economic times. Works both ways!

I, too was thinking about all this based on Daniel Gilbert's work. For those of you who might not have the time to read his entire book, this link to the review is a great "Cliff Notes" version from the NYTs:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/07/books/review/07stossell.html?scp=2&sq=%22daniel%20gilbert%22&st=cse

It is comforting to know that (hopefully) nothing turns out as badly as we think it will--& if it does, people have an uncanny ability to adapt, & we'll rationalize a reason why, "It was for the best, anyway."

www.happyhealthylonglife.com

[Mark W.]

I've read your posts and written comments occasionally for about the last three months. It wasn't until just today that I watched your one minute video "The Years are Short". It's a great video with much impact and content for something that's only one minute long. Thanks for sharing it. It just goes to show how multi-talented you are.

[Jul]

Come on now, let's not underestimate the happiness to be gained from actually moving to, say, Switzerland... whether spurred by presidential election results or not. :)

[Yield to Pedestrian]

The hard part with politics is that - at times - it seems the results of our choices are existential. To some extent this may be true, but in many ways, it really isn't. As a former Executive Branch employee (I used to be a diplomat), I can attest first-hand to how bureaucracy mutes the effect of a change in administration. That's one of the up sides of bureaucracy: it resists radical change in any direction.

For my part, I'm renewing my efforts right now to focus on the small but wonderful things that make me happy, things that I can affect quickly and quietly: helping a friend launch their blog, asking someone for help (making them realize how important/knowledgeable they are), and other tips similar to those Gretchen has already shared. I'm also reading - or rereading - old favorites. I even made a list: Ten Great Books That Will Change Your Life (http://yieldtopedestrian.com/YieldToPedestrian/?p=590)

May it - or whatever projects and endeavors you are pursuing - bring you happiness and perspective during these tense times!

[Gabrielle H]

For the Australian election last year I actually went on a holiday during the electural count. I voted right before I left. I figured that if I heard that Johnney had won again while sitting on a beach it would mute the pain. Fortunately, he didn't win so I recieved good news while sitting on a beach, which made it better. Jayne, Ruddies not that bad is he? He's not great, but he's not bad either.

[EscapeVelocity]

The silver lining is, whoever gets elected, it's NOT GONNA BE ME. Gotta wonder about anybody who wants that job right now.

[Barbara]

I second the Healthy Librarian's comment:"It's uncanny how people simultaneously can share the same thoughts." I uploaded the photo for my post and then decided to catch up on some blog reads and there you were!

I'm voting for Happy! Thanks, Gretchen.
http://uechi.typepad.com/konayogacom/2008/10/a-voting-decision.html

[Judy Rodman]

I have never been as invested emotionally in an election until this one. I have found someone whose character, compassion, policies and abilities to get things done I believe in. I find myself saying "I can't even go there" to anyone suggesting the other side could win. My sister, who is on the other side, and I talk politics and absolutely marvel at how unwise the other's thinking is.

My point... perception of consequences from the wrong side winning this election is the same for everyone. But if, as in the case with my sister and I, love rules relationships who see things differently, the let down for the loser will be so much softer.

But I still have to say... may the best man win!!!