Your Happiness Project: Do something festive.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

In February, I happened to stop by a friend’s house around Valentine’s Day, and I saw how she’d set the table for a holiday breakfast. Nothing too elaborate, but very decorated and fun – heart-shaped placemats, some candy, sticky-pads in the shape of hearts, etc. She explained that because of her family’s schedules, they have a tough time eating dinner together, so she uses breakfast as a time to celebrate.

I thought that this was a FANTASTIC idea. Festive, easy to set the table the night before, easy to schedule, lots of happiness bang for the buck. I vowed that I would copy her – but for a variety of reasons, this morning was the first time I had a real opportunity to set up a holiday breakfast.

I had a lot of fun creating it. My kids often eat peanut butter on toast for breakfast, so I dyed some peanut butter black, spread it on bread, and added orange pumpkin sprinkles – and used black plates. I dyed some plain yogurt orange and added some black bat sprinkles. I put out two pumpkin-shaped candles and threw some candy corns around the table. That was all it took to transform the breakfast experience.

The Little Girl woke up slightly crabby, and I thought she wasn’t very interested in the spread (except for the fact that she got to eat some candy at breakfast). But when we got to school, she kept telling children and teachers excitedly about the “spooky breakfast” she’d had, and she described in detail everything that I’d done. So it made a bigger impression than I thought.

Making this kind of effort is a bit of pain, of course. It involves errands and organization. I had to get up earlier this morning, which was hard. But the happiness research shows that this kind of thing does boost happiness.

Although we think that we act because of the way we feel, research shows that we often feel because of the way we act. So by doing something festive, you put yourself in a more festive frame of mind. Also, studies show that family traditions support children’s social development and strengthen family cohesiveness. They provide the connection and predictability that people crave. They help us mark the time and the seasons in a pleasant way. My Third Splendid Truth is “The days are long, but the years are short” (it's also a video), and I find that this kind of festivity helps to slow time, and at least to make time more memorable. It brings the family together in happy circumstances.

Now, there are a lot of way to be festive. A holiday breakfast is just one example. My mother has an amazing eye, and she has glorious collections of holiday decorations. Parts of these collections she’s given me—for example, I have a bunch of wonderful, elegant Halloween decorations from her—and as long as she hands everything over in a complete set, and shows me how to arrange it, I love putting up seasonal decorations. But the fact is, there’s no way I’d go out and pull together that kind of collection. Also, she always buys colorful squashes, or paper white narcissus, or whatever the appropriate seasonal greenery might be, and I never get around to doing that. (We underbuyers shy away from that sort of thing.)

That used to worry me – I thought I lacked a festive spirit, and I felt bad for my children for not doing a better job. But once again, it’s a matter of remembering to “Be Gretchen.” I don’t like to shop, and I’m not good at arranging objects, but I do love thinking of ways to take ordinary food and transform it, or about how to cobble together items from our shelves to make the table look special for a meal. That’s a way to “Be more festive” that suits my nature.

Many people don’t bother to do anything festive if they don’t have children – but it can be fun to be festive even if you don’t have kids. Buy those squashes that look like mini-pumpkins and put them in a bowl on your kitchen table. Use the holiday as an excuse to call some friends and make a plan. Help decorate your office. Even getting in the spirit of things in a small way can give you (and the people around you) a boost. On my morning walk, I saw three adults wearing a set of black cat ears. That was all it took to show Halloween spirit.

Have you found that being festive helps make you happy? Have you found any good ways to incorporate festivity into your life?

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Comments

[Yield to Pedestrian]

I love the food idea! I will have to remember that one. Other tips for festiveness that I've found:

1) Singing: I do not have the best voice, but it is amazing how much song can bring a whole new level of excitement to any event. We do a lot of singing and dancing in our house.

2) Embracing Silliness: while we can be very serious people, we also know that silliness is as important for adults as it is for kids. Halloween is a great time to embrace being silly (costumes, candy) again.

I have also been thinking a lot about the idea of "comfort activities" (from the Happiness Project post of October 17) that bring us happiness and realized how much movies are a key part of my psychological comfort food. I put together a MOVIE COMFORT FOOD LIST in honor of the HP:
http://yieldtopedestrian.com/YieldToPedestrian/?p=591

May it bring you a good day at the end of a bad one.

Happy Halloween everyone!

[Paige]

I love being festive. My most favorite day to embrace festive decorations, food, etc. is on my loved one's birthday (or my own). I hang streamers from the ceiling fan, a "happy birthday" sign in the kitchen so it is the first thing you see in the am, balooons, cupcakes, you name it. Celebrating birthdays is special to me. evryone deserves special festivites on their birthday.
We also have the day of green in March, which is super festive for my Irish family, St. Patrick's Day. We go all out!
One year I made my husband's lunch sandwich in the shape of a heart on Valentine's Day.
It was cute!

Happy Halloween everyone! Enjoy the festivities!

[Nancy]

Since my only daughter has been away at college, I've planned holiday treats much more deliberately. I made sure to mail her a Halloween card a few days ago, but I still need to run out to buy candy for tonight's onslaught of trick-or-treaters. The early planning and actual event feel like two different - -but equally fun -- events.

[Bridget]

What a fun morning!!! My parents always made holiday mornings special for us. One year for St. Patrick's Day, my mom had laid out a green bikini for me. I'll always remember that! :)

[Charlie D.]

Love Halloween and have a lot of fun with it. I like decorating the house for every holiday as the kids' smiles make it all worthwhile for me. What's been fun lately for Halloween is I get up real early (5am) to work out and put on the pellet stove fireplace in the living room, orange lights I have over the doorways in the kitchen and mantle, and the light up pumpkins in the windows and shut off all the other lights. It creates a mysterious/magical feel to it when the kids come downstairs for breakfast. Btw, Gretchen, try orange pancakes (food dye)in the shape of big pumpkins. I'm wearing my Charlie Brown shirt to work today and ummm, would be the only one with any kind of spirit. I'm feeling like Pam from last night's "The Office" tv show. Happy Halloween!

[Judith]

"Pedestrian" above is speaking of embracing silliness which reminded me of my little stunt on Halloween two years ago. A reasonably mature, and somewhat conservative, woman I occasionally have my moments. About mid-way through the evening, I just suddenly jumped up, donned a huge black poncho and a witch's hat, and headed out the front door. Roaming up and down the street in the dark and wailing, "I'm hun....gry. I'm hun....gry," with some cackles thrown in created a lot of laughter from adults out with their little children and had them wondering who on earth was THAT? Meanwhile, hubby stood out on our front walk laughing his head off too. Now that was just so much fun and brought me an odd feeling of joy. Stepping out of "my box" and doing the totally unexpected gave me a happiness jolt, and I'm wondering if I'll be in the mood to try that again this year!

Judith

[Colleen Wainwright]

For me, the thing is to join in the festivities as I have time and patience and need for them. We did Orphan's Thanksgiving for years here in L.A., and I distinctly remember an early arrival looking at me like I was from Mars when I hauled out the ironing board to press the cloth napkins.

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. But yeah, I realized then that I was doing it to be impressive, to be Martha Stewart, not b/c I loved it. Now, I have the cloth napkins (or not, as available) and they're wrinkled, and the hell with it, and life is good.

My sole bit of Halloween festiveness was walking the 100 yards to the neighbors, where I helped her hand out candy. Which she had bought. And you know, it was just fine.

[Mitch]

I have to go back and look at the underbuying post again. That describes me exactly. I've never liked buying holiday decorations because it seems like "waste" that I have to store it somewhere for 11 months out of the year. It goes against my goal to live simply with just what I need. I often feel like the scrooge who doesn't like holiday shopping and buying gifts and giftwrap and tree decorations.

But it is important to mark the seasons and holidays as they pass. Maybe I could use some tips on celebrating the holidays simply, without the "stuff" that tends to come along with it.

[HP van Duuren]

Thanks for the nice idea,

Although I know a little about Halloween from American Movies or TV-series, and we also have 'Helloween-like' merchandising in our shops here in Europe nowaday's, it isn't a tipical European festive event,
and I am not particularly familiar with this tradition or brought up with this tradition.

I can remember however that as a child we had other special traditions, like for example during winter 'Sinterklaas' (that looks a lot like 'santa', confusing enought we also had 'santa') and durring easter some sort of 'parade', basically walking with a stick (cross) with a bird made of bread in top and if I recall some sort of eatable decoration. (That I might have eaten half way during the parade.) it always was fun, festive and exciting.

All the Best,
HP

http://hpshappy.blogspot.com

[cheap runescape power leveling]

the picture is so lovely, i like Halloween pumpkins

[Wrought Iron Furniture]

Celebrating birthdays is special to me. evryone deserves special festivites on their birthday.