What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Fun: What do you find fun?—a question I find surprisingly difficult to answer; how about you?

CrayonsI have a question for everyone – about FUN. One of the things that surprised me most about my happiness project was that when I resolved to “Find more fun,” it wasn’t easy for me to figure out what I found fun.

For example, it took me some real self-examination to acknowledge that one of my passions is children’s literature. Now my children’s literature reading group is one of the great joys of my life.

I’d love to hear about people’s experiences about fun. What do you find fun? Is it something a lot of people find fun, like golf, or something more unusual, like cultivating bonsai plants? Did you always know that this activity was fun for you, or did it take a while to figure it out? Am I the only one who has trouble staying in touch with the question: what is fun? Once you've identified your source of fun, how do you make time for it in your life?

Along the same lines, as another happiness-project experiment in the area of fun, I thought I’d try starting a collection. My mother has several collections, and they are a tremendous source of fun for her (also me, because a few times, she’s given me her collections – like her magnificent Halloween decorations). But it was hard for me to figure out what to collect. In the end, I chose blue birds, because I like them and because the blue bird is a symbol for happiness.

I sort of enjoy having a collection, but not as much as I thought I might. Do you have a collection that is a source of fun for you? What do you collect, and why?

My understanding of fun increased dramatically when I realized one of my most important Secrets of Adulthood: “What's fun for other people may not be fun for you -- and vice versa.” For example, activities that many people find fun that I don't find fun: skiing, drinking wine, doing crossword puzzles, shopping, going to concerts, cooking...

Thanks for any insights, examples, or suggestions about fun.

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I'd heard a lot about the blog EcoSalon, and when I checked it out, I fell in love with these items made out of recycled typewriter keys. Fabulous!

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.


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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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