Your Happiness Project: Imitate a spiritual master.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

One of the most universal spiritual practices is the imitation of a spiritual master as a way to gain understanding and discipline. For example, in Christianity, many people study The Imitation Of Christ and ask themselves, “What would Jesus do?”

In the secular world, I suspect, people often read biographies for spiritual reasons: they want to study and learn from the example of great lives. As a writer, I steeped myself in the lives of Winston Churchill and John Kennedy, and it seems to me that much of the fascination in these two towering figures comes from people’s desire to imitate their great qualities (though of course they both also had some not-so-great qualities).

Oprah is a spiritual master for a lot of people; also—I could be wrong about this—Warren Buffett. Some lucky people have found a spiritual master within their set of personal relationships.

For my happiness project, I decided to study and imitate a spiritual master—but whom? I didn’t feel a particular affinity for any potential masters, until I came across St. Thérèse of Lisieux. I’d become interested in St. Thérèse after I saw her praised in Thomas Merton’s memoir, The Seven Storey Mountain. I’d been so surprised to see the cranky, monkish Merton write reverently about the sappily-named “Little Flower” that I was curious to read her spiritual memoir, The Story of a Soul. Since then, I’ve developed a mini-obsession with St. Thérèse. I have almost twenty biographies of her, and “Indulging in a (not so) modest splurge,” I spent $75 on a book of photographs of her. Ah, St. Thérèse! She is the perfect spiritual master for me — the fact that I’m not Catholic doesn’t change that.

What figure would you choose to be your spiritual master? It might be obvious to you; it might take you some serious reflection. Once you’ve identified a spiritual master, try to learn more about his or her life; think about why you picked that particular figure; and, most important, how to incorporate the lessons of that life into your own life.

For example, when I was annoyed when the woman working next to me at the library kept sighing noisily, I was inspired by St. Thérèse: she tells the story of how she once broke into a sweat at the effort to conquer her annoyance when a fellow nun made maddening clicking noises during evening prayers. I could relate.

I’m curious to know what spiritual masters other people have adopted. Have you found someone whose life or teaching has captivated you? If you’ve identified your spiritual master, please post it—I, and I’m sure other people, would be very interested to see the range of choices.

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Speaking of St. Therese, a friend from blogland, herself named for Therese and also a devotee, has a terrific blog, Beyond Blue, about "the spiritual journey to mental health." I highly recommend it, especially if you're interested in the subject of depression, especially the spiritual aspect.

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[The Healthy Librarian]

I apologize for continually commenting, but I love your blog (one of the few I read) & for some reason your posts always bring to mind something I've also thought about.

I greatly admire & have learned a lot from 2 Zen teachers (although that's not a tradition I practice.)

Norman Fischer, is a person of wisdom, patience & common sense, who I recently posted about on, "Serendipitous Saturday--Finding Norman Fischer's Simple Yet Astounding Ways to Calm Down"
http://www.happyhealthylonglife.com/happy_healthy_long_life/2008/10/serendipitous-saturday--finding-norman-fischers-simple-yet-astounding-ways-to-calm-down.html

Read it if you're always feeling time pressured, distracted, tired of multi-tasking and want to feel calm.
You won't be disappointed.

Number 2 Zen teacher, my favorite Jewish Zen grandmother (not mine), a woman of great wisdom, eloquence and candor, is Sylvia Boorstein. Her latest book is: "Happiness is an Inside Job".

And lastly, from my own tradition, Rabbi Charles Kroloff. You can get a taste of his wisdom from: "Four Rules to Get Us Through Tough Times"

http://www.happyhealthylonglife.com/happy_healthy_long_life/2008/10/four-rules-to-get-us-through-tough-times---capturing-wisdom-before-it-fades-from-memory.html

[Natasha]

I am interested in what you mean when you say "spiritual." Because you mentioned that you had an affinity with St Therese though you are not a Catholic, you do seem to refer to a conception that transcends religion. As a secular person myself, there are definite people whose lives inspire me and I aspire to emulate in certain ways, but the term "spiritual" has so many connotations; is it a religious thing, or a living the best possible life sort of thing that you refer to?

[Yasmin]

I agree with Natasha, spiritual is hard to define. But there are definite figures I look to and would like to emulate, now that I think about it. I think this has changed at different points in my life, but a sure sign of someone being a master in this sense would be quoting them often.

Two that come to mind: Dr Andrew Weil, an integrative medicine practitioner and author of many books on the subject, he discusses how people can feel better mentally, physically, and spiritually and his advice always resonates with me.

Another is Natalie Goldberg, author of the popular writing book, "Writing Down the Bones." It's a zen approach to writing, but as she points out, her advice can really apply to many things. To me, what's central to her ideas is self-forgiveness.

[Vasilly]

Anne Lamott because she is so honest and Rabbi Wayne Dosick even though I'm not Jewish.

[T]

Thomas Merton "cranky"? Interesting.

[Jo]

Actually, I would name the natural world as a spiritual teacher (I don't like the term "master"). Western culture assumes that only a human can teach spirituality, but in Indigenous worldview, any creature, any natural element can be a teacher. We can learn a lot if we learn to listen to and observe the natural world.

[Ester]

Viktor Frankl

[Therese Borchard]

Hey Gretchen,
Thanks a million for the shout out. You write so well. No wonder why you are so popular! Here's to St. Therese!

[Jessica]

I'm not sure I've found a spiritual master, though the poetry and passion of St. Paul have captivated me. My husband finds inspiration in the life of George Orwell, who he also has a "mini-obsession" with. :)

[Michele Rosenthal]

Vincent Van Gogh. I know, I know, how could someone who's legacy involves cutting off his ear be a spiritual mentor? (Well, first of all, he didn't really cut off his ear...)

All you have to do is read his collected letters, DEAR THEO, to see how spiritual Van Gogh was, and also, to gain inspiration from the life, thoughts, ideas, philosophies and perservence of this incredibly talented man, both in the art of painting, and also in the art of transcendence, self-empowerment and self-belief.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh, I looove Viktor Frankl, love the letters of Vincent van Gogh, love Anne Lamott, love George Orwell...am making a list of the other writers I'm not familiar with.

I thought trying to define the word "spiritual," but as with the word "happiness," I think that it's better to leave the meaning open to a variety of interpretations. In law school we spent a semester trying to define a "contract," so I know how complex (and dare I say boring?) such discussions can become. Also, by leaving it open, you make it easier for people to arrive at very different answers, which itself is stimulating.

Fascinating!

[Louise]

The Dalai Lama. Just seeing a photo of him makes me happy. I never considered imitating him, though. Food for thought.

[HeatherSmedley]

Let me add my voice to Louise's. The Dalai lama inspires me anytime I read anything of his.

[Mark W.]

This post gave me something to reflect upon. I've picked one and plan to learn more about his fascinating life. He's none other than one of our founding fathers - Ben Franklin. I think this is appropriate for me as I used to use something similar to your Filofax - the Franklin Planner. I just read the Wikipedia on him and it states - "A noted polymath, Franklin was a leading author and printer, satirist, political theorist, politician, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman and diplomat." I do remember reading that he did all these things but to this day I still can't figure out how. I have to do more research here. :)

[Jean]

Lama Norlha Rinpoche (www.kagyu.com if you're curious to know about him. Tibetan Buddhist like the Dalai Lama!). He's been my meditation teacher for over 25 years. The way he teaches is, in a way, the opposite of emulation, though he is very inspiring himself (funny, I first wrote that as "inspiriting"). It's more like he's trying to free me to be myself, in a deep down positive way.

[DiscoveredJoys]

Charles Darwin. Fantastically dedicated to finding out why the natural world looked the way it does; he didn't teach, he showed. His insights were down to long deep thought and lots and lots of hard work.

There are several very good biographies that tell of his unexceptional childhood, his voyage on the Beagle, and how he deliberately chose to earn scientific respectability before published his world shaking ideas, backed by huge amounts of examples. It turns out that he was a fairly nice gentle man too.

Anyone that looks that clearly at the world merits profound respect.

[brooklynchick]

Anne Lammott - deeply spiritual but real, and flawed.

[DT]

I know this is weird, but I'm going with Dan Savage (the sex advice columnist). He's not so much a spiritual master as an ethical one. And yes, he's a self-admitted potty-mouth, but he also advocates honesty, love, and respect. And he's just so quotable, i.e. "it's a relationship, not a deposition."

As you always say, we don't choose what we like to do, only what we do... and I might not have chosen to elevate Dan to that level, but it's how I genuinely feel about him.

[Springpeeper]

Henry David Thoreau sprang immediately to mind, but when I read Jo's comment I realized that Nature is It for me, too.

This quote from Saint Bernard says it well:

"You will find something more in woods than in books. Trees and stones will teach you that which you can never learn from masters."

Perhaps I should research Saint Bernard...

[Charlie D.]

Hermann Hesse. While I never thought about him as a spiritual guide I suppose he is as I have a collection of all his books, memoirs and poetry. A quote from him I think you'd find interesting Gretchen is "Happiness is a how; not a what. A talent, not an object."

[Jacqueline]

Mother Theresa and Elizabeth Steinem!

[Val]

St Francis of Assisi has taught me so much about accepting things that might appear as my enemy. Instead of hating, I can reframe a situation. For example, instead of hating mosquitoes, I remind myself how they feed the birds and they too have a purpose. I still dislike them, but I don't hate them like I used to. I love many things about St Francis and try to emulate him.

[TasterSpoon]

I agree that it's a funny context, but I also agree with DT that Dan Savage gives great advice founded in a philosophy of integrity. One thing he wrote once that has really made me think about my relationships is, "Love isn't something you feel. It's something you do."

[Kathleen Burkhalter]

Have you seen this site:

http://thereseoflisieux.org

I've been a fan of St. Therese all my life.

[Stephanie]

I have 2, I guess... the monolithic Rebbe, the master of the Lubavitcher sect of orthodox Judaism and another fellow I discovered in France and am trying to do more research on, his name was [Saint] Evrard and he was a duke of Friuli, he and his wife seem to have been very politically and socially progressive....