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If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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Comments

My comment isn't to follow up on cleaning up, but to follow up on a good "pick me up".

I enjoy escaping from my hectic life and going to a local coffee shop or a Dunkin Donuts (for coffee, not donuts). It's a wonderful way to relax. Sometimes I bring my small notebook and jot down thoughts. Sometimes I strike up conversation with the stranger sitting next to me.

Create large, clear spaces. I clean off the counters, tabletop, desktop, and centers of the floors. (By putting the things that are on them into the places they belong, not just shoving them aside.)

For anyone has family members with ADD/ADHD, or anxiety disorders, it helps a LOT to create an open, clean, orderly environment.

I find that when I'm getting frustrated at work, I tend to spend a lot of time surfing the web--which, of course, does not get the work I don't want to be doing done.

I love that last idea, Vi. It would be a stretch for me, but that's part of the joy of it: breaking out of more than one box.

For me, too, tidiness = tranquility. And a few sprigs of holly in a pretty vase makes the environment better with no hangover.

I'd also add, "Don't buy decorations", like those hard to clean figurines from gift stores. Being janitor to possession is no way a happy life.

Great advice...even though I avoided doing EVERY single one of these last night! I agree: outer calm = (or almost =) inner calm.
The good news is that I listen to other's advice a lot better than my own!:)

I'm new to your site and I've been enjoying your links, tips and insights. Maybe a little like what EscapeVelocity wrote above :)

Congrats on solving that "Coat / Hanger Problem". People have been looking for a solution to that problem for years. Be careful though, Pegs and hooks can make you look hunchback from the stretched material.

Great tips, as always. One I can add is "get rid of stuff". If you are never going to order anything from that magazine, don't put it on the desk or in the drawer, put it in the recycle bin. I've also found that it makes my life so much easier to have my recycle bins right outside my door on the deck. Create a system that works for you.

Thanks and Happy Holidays!

Gretchen,
Last May I was frazzled with way too much to do & just happened on "The Magic Secret of Making My Bed".

Really--that one little step has changed me forever. When you see how quick it is, it reinforces how little time it takes to pick up the house.

The Japanese call it Kaizen-
small steps to continuous improvement.

Orderly house equals a peaceful easy feeling in my book.

Your list is right on the money! I clear 3 book shelves in my den for the ever rotating collection of library books. We're allowed up to 55 at a time--and you can keep renewing!!

If anyone is interested in my May experience:

Fighting Entropy with New Habits--Why I Vow to Make My Bed Every Morning

Click here:
http://www.happyhealthylonglife.com/happy_healthy_long_life/2008/05/fighting-entrop.html

I followed here from Zen Habits and your guest post today. I liked your list over there and I love this one even more. Thank you, now I have some "expert" ammo to send my hubby's way since these are argument starters for us.

Thanks for your useful (Traditional) Organising Tips'

On purpose I say 'Traditional' because if you have had a look at:

http://www.organizedr.com

You will get an interely new look on 'Getting Organised', It will give you a new perspective on what 'Being Organised' is, and you will see that a genius like Albert Einstein is extremely well organised while you see him sitting behind an awfully messy desk!!!

Nevertheless I understand exactly what you are talking about, and that it has to do with how 'a mess' makes you feel. I can totally relate to that also, as you can see in my blogpost about how to be 'Neathly Organised', that you can find at:

http://hpshappy.blogspot.com/2007/06/happy-to-be-neatly-organized.html

All the Best,
To your Happy - Organising - Inspiration,
HP


Gretchen, lovely post, but I do feel I should speak up for a neglected minority: the confirmed non-bedmakers.

I am married to a habitual, lifelong bedmaker so our bed does get made, usually by whoever is latest up (other than the cat). But this week my husband is OUT OF TOWN(!) and OH! -- the joy of NOT making the bed. (I am not a tosser/turner, so things don't come untucked.) It is LOVELY to go upstairs at night and see it there waiting for me and my cat, all rumpled and inviting, like a cozy nest. I am SO enjoying this week of non-bedmaking. It is making me, hmmmm, well, happy.

To balance things out, my husband habitually leaves wads of paper and other things by the kitchen sink that should be put in the garbage or recycling. This drives me nuts because I am the main cook and that is my workspace. Unlike the bedmaking, he has NOT changed his ways since we got married.

Just to show you there are TWO sides to every bed! And we are all made happy, and driven crazy, by different things.

Have a joyful holiday!

Two things that nag at me if I'm walking out the door in the morning if I haven't done them: put the remote back in the remotes basket (yes, I have one of those) and put the coasters where they belong. Those two things will often clear my coffee table entirely which makes the whole place look neater.

I absolutely agree with you on this. If I have a clean house, or at least a clean room, I feel exponentially better! No cigarette or bowl of chocolate ice cream doused with chocolate syrup can give me that refreshed and productive feeling. :)

It's all so spot on. This post speaks directly to me, and I agree with everything in it. Except that I know I'll be jazzed by the idea of picking up after myself for a couple of days and then I'll backslide. What to do??

Ah, a wonderful list of things that I should be doing but never do. I find it extremely difficult to maintain cleanliness as I go, and as a result of this as soon as the weekend cleaning is done the clutter starts to build up again until the next weekend.

I continue to tell myself that I don't mind. But really, I enjoy having a nice organized environment and wish that I was able to maintain it like so many people do.

Thanks for the reminder!

The problem with recycling--where does it go? Material costs have dropped by 80-90% in the past month--globally. Which means all of our organized well intentioned attempts to be "green" and recycle is for nothing. So my piles of newspapers and magazines will get higher and higher--no place to go--except the landfill. Sorry to be depressing.

I'm doing better than I would have expected on this list, but I swear that #6 and #9 will be the death of me. . . .

I recently began doing this for myself. I finally acknowledged that 1) we no longer can find household help in our area (too remote) and 2) husband was not going to take responsibility for the housework for a variety of reasons. So I made a weekly list and put it up and have started following it. It's a small start but it has made me feel so much better. My big ones are: clean the bathrooms, change the sheets, and mop the floors weekly; and keep the dining room table cleaned off daily, so we can eat like civilized people. The more you do, the more it spreads. And the more I do, the more hubby pitches in.

These are good reminders! By the way, I enjoyed your piece in Real Simple. Happy Holidays.

Don't forget to empty the dishwasher promptly so that you can put the new dirty dishes right in!

Thanks for this post - it was right on target for me.

My experience parallels that of EscapeVelocity: surfing the web is so easy to do ("it'll just take a sec") but contributes to a mental feeling of clutter that makes it hard for me to focus on anything else. So I've made a deal with myself that I don't open the laptop till the baby goes down for his nap. That gives me several morning hours to concentrate on "real life" and to feel grounded.

I tend to get al gung ho and make a schedule of perfect household cleaning, which I can never follow. Upon closer examination, there are a few things, easy to fit into small spaces of time during the day, that calm me and give me a sense of organized freedom. Making the beds (just taught the kids to do theirs, which is blissful), keeping up with the laundry (one to two loads a day, fold yesterday's each morning), emptying the dishwasher and putting in what's accumulated since dinner. Vacuuming downstairs each evening (now also a child chore).

In our family of five it's impossible for me to achieve the minimalist clutter-free space I had when I lived alone, and I suspect it's a "wrong goal." My desire for organization shouldn't trump a cosy, warm, friendly, inviting environment for my family--which it does when I get hell-bent on decluttering. But I've noticed that when I organize one little thing, be it a pile of old papers or an "everything" drawer, I feel great the rest of the day.

Thank you Kisa - i struggle with the house and you are right, my goals are set way too high and what a shame it would be to spoil what i have : )

I already do all 11 of the items on the list; it wouldn't occur to me not to. A place for everything and everything in its place saves me tons of time when I have to find something. Difficult to get things done when the place is a mess, whether it's mail clutter, magazine clutter, messy bedroom or bathroom. Occasionally, I won't want to fold the laundry, but I know it will take me no more than 3 minutes to do it and then I won't have that chore hanging over my head, leaving me free and uncluttered inside, too.

I used to be in a relationship & he was very untidy. It used to drive me crazy until I discovered little routines like tidying up the sofa area before going to bed, or making the bed. The little things definitely help :)

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

9Rules

  • 9rules

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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