Gratitude: Write your Acknowledgements page or your Acceptance speech.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

One of the great perks of writing a book is that you get to write an Acknowledgments page where you thank everyone who helped you as you were writing your book. Winners of the Academy Award get to give their Acceptance speech, where they thank the most important people in their lives. It’s too bad that other professions haven’t developed similar practices – it’s a wonderful tradition.

Philosophers, religious leaders, and contemporary scientists all agree that GRATITUDE is a key to happiness. Studies show that consistently grateful people are happier and more satisfied with their lives; they even feel more physically healthy and spend more time exercising. Gratitude brings freedom from envy; when you’re grateful for what you have, you’re not consumed with wanting something different or something more. That, in turn, makes it easier to live within your means and also to be generous to others. Gratitude fosters forbearance—it’s harder to feel disappointed with someone when you’re feeling grateful toward him or her. Gratitude also connects you to the natural world, because one of the easiest things to feel grateful for is the beauty of nature.

But I find it hard to stay in a grateful frame of mind—I take things for granted, I forget what other people have done for me, I have high expectations. To cure this, I tried keeping a gratitude journal, something recommended by countless happiness experts, but I found it annoying, not helpful. I have a resolution to “Think about how much I love my ordinary day each time I turn on my computer”; that works pretty well. Keeping my one-sentence journal helps me remember to be grateful. My one-minute video, The Years Are Short, is a meditation on gratitude.

I just handed in the second draft of THE HAPPINESS PROJECT book to my editor, and I figured I’d work on the appendix, bibliography, and other back matter while I was waiting for her comments. When I started to write the Acknowledgments, however, I got anxious: I realized that I’ve been helped by just about everyone I had a conversation with over the past few years. So many people passed along their insights, or gave advice, or said or did something that shed light on happiness. Not to mention my family and friends who give me general support. And all the people I've never actually met, but have "met" through blogging. The more I thought about it, the more names I added.

I haven’t figured out how to handle this issue. I’m worried about overlooking someone, but at the same time, it would look ridiculous to thank a million people. But I can’t NOT have an Acknowledgements page.

Well, I’ll figure something out. As a consequence of doing this, however, I realized that writing your Acknowledgments page (or your Acceptance speech, if you want the more glamorous version) is a great exercise. If you had a chance publicly to thank the people who support and help you, who would be on the list? Can you think of a way to acknowledge them, even if you don’t have an official Acknowledgements page and you’re not getting an Oscar?

Or have you found other ways to cultivate a grateful spirit?

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Wow, via Paul Raeburn's About Fathers blog on the Psychology Today blogs site, I was let to the Divorce Calculator devised by behavior economist Betsey Stevens. It tells you your risk in ten seconds! My score:

People with similar backgrounds who are already divorced: 14%
People with similar backgrounds who will be divorced over the next five years: 3%

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[Suzanne Carter, Ph.D.]

Got to chime in here to say that one of my favorite parts about finishing up the dissertation was writing the acknowledgements section - it wasn't just "thanks for everything" ... it was "thank you to PB for entertaining me when I was drowning in data and encouraging me to to release my inner Solid Gold Dancer" ... as an added thing, because the thanks were so heartfelt, and I had a feeling that they probably wouldn't be read (who reads dissertations?), I gave each person thanked a copy of the acknowledgements - and it was doubly neat that they seemed to appreciate the thought!

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[HP van Duuren]

Yes, gratitude is important.

That's actually how I welcome
the visitors to my Blogspot:

'I LIKE TO THANK YOU...,

This is like a 'RED CARPET'- Moment,
Just as an 'Acceptance Speech' during
'The Hollywood Oscar Film Awards
Ceremony' I like to thank YOU (as a
Visitor to this Blog)'

So feel free to have your own
little 'Red Carpet Moment' at
HP's Happy Blogspot :)

Or better leave interesting and
compelling comments on Blogsposts,
You don't have to be modest or shy,
You are the STAR!!!

All the Best,
To your Happy Inspiration,
HP

[Carol]

I imagine that some people contributed more than others to your book. How about if you thanked the ones by name that made the biggest contributions (be it time, suggestions, emotional support, or other) and then recognize the other with a broad statement such as "all those whose blogs have given me info" or "those of you who passed on your insights". I think that everyone who helped would recognize themselves in a statement like that. If you thank eveyone your acknowledgement will be as long as your book!

[christine Scaman]

Being happy is an inevitable by-product of gratitude because it makes us feel looked after, I would think. But another very important part of real gratitude is taking it to the next level, by GIVING. Giving time, giving money, just giving on a regular basis. You realize you're not as poor as you thought. You realize that you actually HAVE something to give. It 's huge.

I'm sure you know this book - I came upon it via Dan Kennedy's ( of the No BS Books fame ) recommendation. Of all Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich books, the best of them all is Grow Rich with Peace of Mind. It's the culmination of all he learned. It is about how to achieve a peaceful mind. There was nothing we'd never seen before, I guess, but it certainly got across one point : every bit of energy you send out there, be it good or bad, will come back to you. YOU determine what's headed your way. It was very cool.

I'm glad to have found this site. Going to keep looking around.

[Mike Wilson]

"
I started to write the Acknowledgments, however, I got anxious: I realized that I’ve been helped by just about everyone I had a conversation with over the past few years. So many people passed along their insights, or gave advice, or said or did something that shed light on happiness. Not to mention my family and friends who give me general support. And all the people I've never actually met, but have "met" through blogging. The more I thought about it, the more names I added.

"

Looks like a pretty damn good start to me.

[Stephanie Russell]

First of all I want to say that I'm excited to read your book whenever it comes out. I think that the happiness project is a fabulous idea! I also love your post on gratitude. I think that gratitude is such an important part of living a happy life and I also think that it's the part that gets most over looked. Thanks for this wonderful reminder.

[cwxwwwxwwxwx]

well, hi admin adn people nice forum indeed. how's life? hope it's introduce branch ;)

[Tammy]

Gretchen,
From the link in this article, I watched your video, "The Years are Short" and it was moving. The photography was wonderful and the concept valuable. Thank you for helping us all remember to focus on the moments, for all of our moments combined equal our lives.
Tammy

[HP van Duuren]

As you might have seen with in my first comment I value the importance of gratitude very much.

As a matter of a fact the FREE Report you can get at my Blogspot is all about the importance of Gratitude.

You can find it - scrolling down a little - at the left side of my Blogspot at:

http://hpshappy.blogspot.com

All the Best,
To your Happy Inspiration,
HP