How to stick to your New Year’s resolutions – 12 tips.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: How to stick to your New Year’s resolutions -- 12 tips.

It’s almost New Year’s Eve, and that means it’s the season for resolutions. I’ve always been part of the 44% of Americans who make (and also break) New Year’s resolutions; I’m a big believer in the power of small changes to make us happier.

Along the way, and especially since I started my resolutions-based happiness project, I’ve hit on some strategies for helping myself stick to resolutions.

1. Be specific. Don’t resolve to “Make more friends” or “Strengthen friendships”; that’s too vague. To make more friends as part of my happiness project, I have several very concrete resolutions like: “Start a group,” “Remember birthdays,” “Say hello,” “Make plans,” “Show up,” and “No gossip.”

2. Write it down.

3. Review your resolution constantly. If your resolution is buzzing through your head, it’s easier to stick to it. I review my Resolutions Chart every night.

4. Hold yourself accountable. Tell other people about your resolution, join or form a like-minded group, score yourself on a chart (my method) -- whatever works for you to make yourself feel accountable for success and failure.

5. Think big. Maybe you need a big change, a big adventure – a trip to a foreign place, a break-up, a move, a new job. Let yourself imagine anything, and plan from there.

6. Think small. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that only radical change can make a difference. Just keeping your fridge cleared out could give you a real boost. Look close to home for ways to improve and grow.

7. Ask for help. Why is this so hard? But every time I ask for help, I’m amazed at how much easier my task becomes.

If you have an especially tough time keeping resolutions, if you have a pattern of making and breaking them, try these strategies:

8. Consider making only pleasant resolutions. We can make our lives happier in many ways. If you’ve been trying the boot-camp approach with no success, try resolving to “Go to more movies,” “Entertain more often,” or whatever resolutions you’d find fun to keep. Often, having more fun in our lives makes it easier to do tough things. Seeing more movies might make it easier to keep going to the gym.

9. Consider giving up a resolution. If you keep making and breaking a resolution, consider whether you should relinquish it entirely. Put your energy toward changes that are both realistic and helpful. Don't let an unfulfilled resolution to lose twenty pounds or to overhaul your overgrown yard block you from making other, smaller resolutions that might give you a big happiness boost.

10. Keep your resolution every day. Weirdly, it’s often easier to do something every day (exercise, post to a blog, deal with the mail, do laundry) than every few days.

11. Set a deadline.

12. Don’t give up if something interferes with your deadline.

13. “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” Thank you, Voltaire. Instead of starting your new exercise routine by training for the marathon, aim for a 20-minute walk each day. Instead of cleaning out the attic, tackle one bureau drawer. If you break your resolution today, try again tomorrow.

What else? What are some strategies you've discovered, to help you stick to your New Year's resolutions?

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Just as my friend Marci Alboher has been writing about Laid Off From My Non-Job, Lisa Cullen of the TIME blog Work in Progress has been writing about How I Decided to Vamoose. I'm fascinated and heartened by reading these honest accounts of very difficult situations.

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[Mark Daniels]

These are all great tips, Gretchen, and ones which, from both my failures and successes at resolution-making ring true. (Mostly I say this from my failures.) But not so surprisingly, I would add one tip: Pray about it. Whether you believe that Someone is listening at the other end or not, articulating and thinking about a resolution is like chicken soup: It couldn't hurt.

Mark Daniels

[J.D. Meier]

Great list.

What thing I've learned is that if you can't write at least a paragraph on why your goal is so important, then it won't stick.

Since a goal is just a vehicle, the why is the ultimate driver.

[KCCC]

I would add "one thing at a time." I gave up New Year's Resolutions years ago and substituted "Habits of the Month" instead. The conventional wisdom is that it takes 21 days to build a habit, and I figured a month gave me a little "padding" for being a slow learner!

I also set "wiggle room" so that I don't let perfectionism defeat me. Many of my goals are "Five days out of seven, I will..." (meditate, exercise, floss). Then if I skip one day, I don't give up.

I do revisit habits - exercise shows up regularly, as I have to adapt to changing seasons or class availability. However, choosing one thing to focus on at a time makes my chances of success so much higher. And some things can actually end after a month... 20 minutes a day on the spare room, for a month, took care of it!

[Mark W.]

I agree that these are all great tips. I have resolutions from last year that I broke/haven't completed. So - "If you break your resolution today, try again tomorrow." can read "If you broke or didn't complete your resolution from last year, continue to try again in the next year." Haven't said that, I think it's critical to re-evaluate the resolution to determine its' importance to you and the methods being used in trying to achieve the resolution. Also while resolutions are typically slated for Jan. 1, there's no reason why they can't start on any other day of the year!

[FupDuckTV]

You should have expanded on #2 - "Write it down." Goals are more likely to be achieved when you write them down. But you should also hang them up some where. Going off #3, I have my goals posted in my cubicle at work. I read them daily. Another tip... Update your goals throughout the year. Sometimes the goal changes; don't be afraid to update your goal.

[Brian]

Thank you for the great list. I'm wary of ever making any resolutions for the new year because I always worry that I am setting myself up for failure. Maybe it is time attempt a new change and overcome my fear :)

One approach that I find useful is actually setting vague goals, or at least being vague about how I am going to achieve them. This probably seems counter-intuitive, but for myself it is helpful because this prevents me from setting myself up for failure. And by not deciding beforehand how I will achieve the specific goal, I can remain open to whatever approach will be effective even if it is something that I did not think when setting the goal in the first place.

[Ella]

Unrelatedly - I am reading 40 Ways To Think About Winston Churchill on my new Kindle and really enjoying it! I was glad to see that it's available in electronic form.

[Ella]

Oops. 40 Ways to Look At . . . etc.

[adora]

You might find this article interesting. It is a research by the author of Quirkology.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/dec/28/sciencenews.research

"Most important is not to leave the decision until New Year's Eve. In addition, for men, the secret of success lies in setting specific goals and focusing on the rewards you will get if you achieve them; for women, the best way to keep a resolution is to tell the world about it."

[Meghan]

Thank you for including "a break up" as a positive resolution. I'm dealing with one now and it's nice to see you include it as a good thing for people to do sometimes.

[June]

Great tips. As an inveterate list maker, my mantra is that everything on "the list"gets done eventually. I am continually adjusting my goals throughout the year and believe that writing it down makes one accountable.

I "heart" your blog! Happy New Year!

[Mockingbird - Gadfly Revolution]

Wonderful tips. It's amazing how reaching goals can increase our happiness (and productivity with whatever it may be, as well). "Think small" is my favorite. Small shifts inside of us spiral outward and create bigger shifts in our relationship with self, other and the world. I love that active resolutions illumine our ever-evolving nature. Here's to a blissful 2009!

[Christopher]

Such a great list. One of my most enduring resolutions was to quit smoking in January of 2000. This was after many tries over the years, and it was because of #7 above (asking for help) that finally did it.

There were more supportive and helpful people out there than I knew! Their assistance has kept me smoke free now for almost nine years!

[John Haydon]

Writing it down is powerful due to the law of cause and effect: Thoughts, words and actions are causes, which we all have control over. Words and actions are a much more powerful cause than thoughts.

The universe cannot deny that you are speaking or taking action. Writing down your goals is a form of speaking and acting.

Thanks!

John

[Meg Renicker]

Thanks for these Gretchen, I am going to keep them at work and TRY to review them daily. I like having a job and working at it. But, I've discovered that #1 - I don't like change and #2 - I am driven by fear. I was talking to someone last night and said that ever since I have gotten this latest job (Feb 15/08) I worry about losing it all the time. Seriously, the smallest things keep me all twisted out of shape and I end up doing more things wrong than if I just let it go and get onto the next project. I'm not looking forward to the new year as it means that we will do the same old months/days/weeks all over again in a whole new way. Guess you could say that is fear of the future. Boring!!!! I enjoy your writing and am putting some things into my life and notice a difference, but till I let go of the fear I am probly stuck right in this mud.

Happy New Year from Canada

PS: don't take my renderings as typically Canadian, momentarily I am sleep deprived and see no way around it with holiday house guests, just more to worry about.

AMEN

[Y. Kang]

(1) VALID HAPPINESS (including love, sense of beauty, good conscience, upholding justice, moral couraging, helping others etc.) must be the feeling of things being a step better for our propagation .
(2) WELL-BEING is the ongoing feeling of things going well step by step for our propagation.
(3) VALID SUFFERING must be the feeling of things being harmful to our propagation and calling us to prevent or rectify it.
(4) SOUL is the computation results of both our instinct and pre-instinct data-programs in our brain.

All these are ancestors’ successful experiences saved on DNA.

Right?

欢迎转载!
http://blog.sina.com.cn/happywellness

[damali brown]

this is great advice it really helped.

[lieben]

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