True Rules: The resolutions NOT to make for your New Year's resolutions.

I've started a new feature -- the True Rules series. These aren't general rules for living, like "Enjoy the present." They're concrete lessons that come out of people's specific experiences. Whether you agree with these rules or not, they’re fun to consider.

Something that makes me very happy is to make a new friend (confirming the huge amount of research that says that strong social bonds are the KEY to happiness), and it’s especially fun to make friends with a fellow blogger.

So I was very happy to meet Deborah Siegel, whose popular blog Girl With Pen just grew to a new level as group blog instead of her solo project. She also consults with people and organizations who want to expand their public platform, say, by starting a blog.

She struck me as the kind of person who would have an interesting True Rule, and indeed, she did -- on one of my favorite topics, the making of resolutions.

If you can’t watch the video, Deborah Siegel’s True Rule is: “Never make a New Year’s resolution that’s not fun to keep. So, for instance: dance more, drink more wine, eat more chocolate.” I will re-post this on December 31.

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[karin manske]

I LOVE Deborah's resolution! I think it's probably the one that will work. I do the same with goals. Never set a goal that is not fun to reach.
Thank you, Gretchen, for your continuous inspiring posts.

[Alex Fayle]

Yes, I agree completely - if your decisions to act are not in line with who you are, you're not going to do anything about them. And the best measure is "Are you having fun with the change?"

Even with a change you don't like (such as your 6:15 rising time, Gretchen), if the end result is more fun, then you'll follow through on it.

[ella]

Isn't that sort of the opposite of your approach? Most of your resolutions aren't fun to keep - it's just that keeping them makes you happier in the long run. If a resolution is fun to keep, it's not much of a resolution. Or maybe she's just talking about New Year's resolutions specifically.

[Cat]

I totally agree with this rule - with a slight variation. My daughter and I make resolutions that are either about trying new things (one year it was to try sushi) or to accomplish something (my resolution this year was to be able to to 10 push-ups). In 2009, we have a fun one - go to the top of the Space Needle. I've lived in Seattle almost 20 years and have never been.

[Misty (MyInspirationLounge.com)]

Finally New Years Resolutions I can keep :) I also like Cat's...trying new things.

[Tiffany]

This advice seems like it can only work in certain circumstances. For example, what if a person's new year's resolution is to stop smoking? Smoking is a fun thing to some people so stopping it would be an un-fun activity. Life is not entirely about having fun. Somethings are going to be inevitably be changes, such as weight loss and finding a job you like.