What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

True Rules: The resolutions NOT to make for your New Year's resolutions.

I've started a new feature -- the True Rules series. These aren't general rules for living, like "Enjoy the present." They're concrete lessons that come out of people's specific experiences. Whether you agree with these rules or not, they’re fun to consider.

Something that makes me very happy is to make a new friend (confirming the huge amount of research that says that strong social bonds are the KEY to happiness), and it’s especially fun to make friends with a fellow blogger.

So I was very happy to meet Deborah Siegel, whose popular blog Girl With Pen just grew to a new level as group blog instead of her solo project. She also consults with people and organizations who want to expand their public platform, say, by starting a blog.

She struck me as the kind of person who would have an interesting True Rule, and indeed, she did -- on one of my favorite topics, the making of resolutions.

If you can’t watch the video, Deborah Siegel’s True Rule is: “Never make a New Year’s resolution that’s not fun to keep. So, for instance: dance more, drink more wine, eat more chocolate.” I will re-post this on December 31.

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.


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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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