What you can learn about happiness from bullfighting.

I do a lot of reading, and one of the few downsides to that habit is that I often lose track of the source of an idea or phrase. I’ve spent hours trying to track down an anecdote or a fact that didn’t strike me as important when I read it, but that later on, I wanted to look at more closely.

Sometimes I even jot down a note without remembering to include the source. For example, I’m very intrigued with a new word: querencia. Where the heck did I come across it? I thought perhaps it was the name of a short story discussed in Francine Prose’s Reading Like a Writer, but I can’t find it there. Oh well. For some reason, the word caught my eye, and I spent some time tracking down its meaning.

During a bull fight, the bull will sometimes stake out a particular part of the ring where it feels safe: its querencia. Perhaps it’s a corner, in a square field, or perhaps it’s a place where the bull successfully toppled a horse. Whenever the bull has a chance, it will return to its querencia.

This is a term that has great metaphoric resonance.

Each of us should find our own querencia, our sanctuary, a place to which we can retreat from the lances that pursue us. Maybe that querencia is a place, like a bedroom or a bikepath – or a mental area of refuge – or a frame of mind.

But the useful metaphor doesn’t stop there.

Apparently, the bull is often most fierce and unpredictable when it’s fighting its way to its querencia. Sometimes, perhaps, it’s so important to us to gain our querencia that we’re hurtful when anyone blocks our way. Maybe it’s so important to believe that a marriage is strong that we ignore what a spouse is saying. Maybe it’s so important to believe that a child is well-adjusted that we don’t understand what a teacher means.

Also, although the bull feels safer in its querencia, its querencia didn’t necessarily afford it any greater protection from the matador.

So what’s the lesson? Identify your querencia, find comfort in it -- but use it as a strong base, not a hiding place.

This is very relevant to me these days, because I read Munro Leaf's wonderful book, The Story of Ferdinand, at least once each day to the Little Girl. Now, Ferdinand was a bull who had found his querencia.

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Zoikes, this Smashing Magazine post has some amazing photographs of split-second events.

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Comments

[Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D.]

I agree with the need for each of us to have a sanctuary, but equally agree that we must never let it become a hideout.

Thanks for sharing this metaphor.

[DT]

I hope you have the recording of Ferdinand as well! It makes a lovely song (if not, tell me and I'll send it to you).

And I also obsessively track down etymologies. I recently discovered that the origin of the phrase "cooking with gas," which is used in a song in "On The Town" is an old advertisement from when gas stoves were brand new.

[Johnny Kuo]

I liked the querencia metaphor. We all need a sanctuary from time to time recharge and regroup. I think you could extend the metaphor further and think of testing your limits and conquering a new challenge as expanding the boundaries of your comfort zone.

[HP van Duuren]

Interesting metaphor and thanks for learning a new word.

I am glad to see that you use the correct word 'Matador' because a lot of people say 'Toriador' probably because it has the word 'Torro' in it, but is as far as I know only a word used by tourists that don't know that it indeed is a 'Matador'. (Not to be mistaken with a 'Picador', somebody that's also very unfriendly towards Bulls.)

All the Best,
To your Happy Inspiration,
HP

[dhardy]

an extremely gruesome killing sport as a metaphor for finding happiness? no thanks.

[molly]

Querencia...nice word. Kind of onomatopoeic. As in quiet place, and it is soft. But I would agree with the sentiment of not hanging out there. The learning, the truth, (and therefore the happiness), doesn't tend to be revealed by remaining in a place of comfort.

[Alex C.]

I realize that Gretchen is simply using the concept of querencia as a metaphor, but I'd like to point out that bull-fighting is an extremely cruel and vicious practice (I can't bring myself to call it a "sport"). For more information about this barbaric passtime, see:

http://kristismess.blogspot.com/2007/04/bullfighting-cruel-and-unusual.html

[FupDuckTV]

Bull-fighting is a horrible practice! I cheer for the bull everytime, but he never wins. I love to watch videos of Matadors getting gored. Querencia is an interesting concept, but it comes across as a false sense of security when used in the bull-fighting metaphor. Naturally happy people don't need a querencia; they are happy pretty much anywhere.

[CM]

I don't want any part of a "happiness" metaphor that's connected to a violent, barbaric practice. I am a regular reader of this usually excellent blog but this post revolted me.

[Jesse]

Ferdinand The Bull was my FAVORITE book as a child. I tried, and failed, to find it 2 weeks ago at a brick and mortar bookstore, to give as a gift to my nephew.

I like the concept of Querencia, and agree that it is a great metaphor for a power base, but not a hiding place.

[Christopher]

My daughters love that book as well - it's a good reminder to always smell the flowers :)

[Shash]

I typically think this blog is great, but all I have to say is...huh? Who can sit and ruminate on one's personal happiness when the metaphor requires you to think about the torture (and it really is torture) of animals? Come on, now. I'm guessing you must not really be familiar with what goes on in a bullfight so I'll share this link I found. http://www.russellbeattie.com/notebook/1007918.html

[Adventurous Wench women's travel]

Thanks for sharing this metaphor.

I find my "querencia" whenever I travel.

[dogma]

The word "querencia" exists apart from bullfighting; you don't need to picture the torture of animals when using it. Gretchen, perhaps you came across the word as I did, when I stumbled upon the now out-of-print book _Querencia_, by Stephen Bodio (http://tinyurl.com/8ypzry).

[Rusti]

Hi guys. My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
I am from Sierra and also now am reading in English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Butterbur as good as anti histamine in seasonal allergic rhinitis - large db patients.Use of an anti ige humanized monoclonal antibody in ragweed induced allergic rhinitis."

Thanks for the help :), Ram.