The Happiness Project

Your Happiness Project: Do Something EVERY DAY.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

A few days ago, I observed that it’s often easier for me to do something every day than to do it some days. I post to my blog six days a week. I take notes every day. I write in my one-sentence journal every day. Many people have told me that they find it easier to exercise when they exercise every day.

If I try to do something four days a week, I spend a lot of time arguing with myself about whether today is the day, or tomorrow, or the next day; did the week start on Sunday or Monday; etc.

If you do something every day, you tend to fall into a routine, and routine has a bad reputation. It’s true that novelty and challenge bring happiness, and that people who break their routines, try new things, and go new places are happier, but I think that some routine activities also bring happiness. The pleasure of doing the same thing, in the same way, every day, shouldn’t be overlooked. By re-framing, you can find happiness in activities like doing dishes or sweeping the floor, as well as your beloved morning coffee-and-newspaper.

The things you do every day take on a certain beauty, and provide a kind of invisible architecture to daily life.

Funnily enough, two geniuses whom I associate with the idea of the unconventional wrote about the power of doing something every day.

Andy Warhol wrote, “Either once only, or every day. If you do something once it’s exciting, and if you do it every day it’s exciting. But if you do it, say, twice or just almost every day, it’s not good any more.”

Gertrude Stein made a related point: “Anything one does every day is important and imposing and anywhere one lives is interesting and beautiful.”

So if there’s something that you wish you did more regularly, try doing it every day; if you do something every day, revel in it.

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This morning, a friend sent me the link to The Glow Movie – engaging insights and interviews with fourteen prominent women about overcoming difficulties and finding happiness. I just watched the entire trailer.

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I send out short monthly newsletters that highlight the best of the previous month’s posts. If you’d like to sign up, click here. Or just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) No need to write anything more than “newsletter” in the subject line.

Why Facebook Can Make You Happier.

Younger people don't say this, but I’ve heard several people in an older age bracket make a similar argument recently: Facebook isn’t good for people’s happiness. “Instead of making plans and meeting face to face and doing things," one guy told me, “everyone’s typing away in front of a screen, alone. It’s terrible for human relationships.”

I disagree. True, meeting face to face is more energizing, more fun, and strengthens ties better. But not using Facebook because it isn’t as good as meeting in person is an example of letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.

In my own experience, Facebook allows me to manage ties to a much larger group of people than I could possibly manage in a more direct way. It makes it practical to keep track of people through many changes of email, address, etc. It gives me a quick way to reach out to friends, and also a low-key way to connect with people whom I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling or even emailing. And I'm sure not going to write a letter!

Perfect example: This morning I had coffee with a friend, “Jane,” whom I hadn’t seen in many years. We met when, a year after college, I moved to San Francisco for ten months and lived with my college roommate, who was dating a guy who had a bunch of friends from college, including Jane -- we all spent a lot of time together.

After I left San Francisco, I moved to New Haven, then to New York City, then to Washington, D.C., then back to New York. Jane moved from San Francisco to Cambridge, then to New York City, then to Kampala, then to Boston, then to Nairobi, then back to New York City.

I always liked Jane a lot, but she wasn’t one of my closest friends, and I lost track of her. (As she told me, "You lose five people with every move.") Recently she found me on Facebook, and we re-connected -- tremendously fun and big happiness booster. It turns out we live thirteen blocks from each other!

Everyone from ancient philosophers to contemporary researchers agrees that the KEY to happiness is strong ties to other people. We need need close, long-term relationships, we need to be able to confide in others, we need to belong, we need to give and receive support. Studies show that if you have five or more friends with whom to discuss an important matter you’re far more likely to describe yourself as “very happy.” If a mid-life crisis hits, one of the most common complaints is the lack of true friends.

Anything that helps you hang onto your friends is going to make you happier.

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Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Quiz: Are You a Moderator or an Abstainer?

Every Wednesday is Tip Day or Quiz Day.
Quiz: Are You a Moderator or an Abstainer?

Often, we know we’d have more long-term happiness if we gave up something that gives us a rush of satisfaction in the short-term. That morning doughnut, that impulse purchase, staying up too late watching TV.

A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation – and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.” Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen “fake food” treat, Tasti D-Lite, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat Tasti D-Lite twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?" "Does this time ‘count?’” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way – it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of time justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.

People can be surprisingly judgmental about which approach you take. As an abstainer, I often get disapproving comments like, “It’s not healthy to take such a severe approach” or “It would be better to learn how to manage yourself” or “Can’t you let yourself have a little fun?” On the other hand, I hear fellow abstainer-types saying to moderators, “You can’t keep cheating and expect to make progress” or “Why don’t you just go cold turkey?” But different approaches work for different people. (Exception: with an actual addiction, like alcohol or cigarettes, people generally accept that abstaining is the only solution.)

You’re a moderator if you…
-- find that occasional indulgence heightens your pleasure – and strengthens your resolve
-- get panicky at the thought of “never” getting or doing something

You’re an abstainer if you…
-- have trouble stopping something once you’ve started
-- aren’t tempted by things that you’ve decided are off-limits

Now, sometimes instead of trying to give something up, we’re trying to push ourselves to embrace something. Go to the gym, eat vegetables, work on a disagreeable project.

Perhaps this is the flip side of being an abstainer, but I’ve found that if I’m trying to make myself do something, I do better if I do that thing every day. When people ask me advice about keeping a blog, one of my recommendations is, “Post every day, or six days a week.” Weirdly, it’s easier to write a blog every day than it is to write it three or four times a week. I don’t know how moderators feel about this. Moderators – what do you think? Is it easier to go for a half-hour walk every day, or four times a week, for you?

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Mike Vardy of the blog Effing the Dog was nice enough to do an interview with me. I don't think I kept up my end of the comedy, but it was fun to do.

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Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Happiness Interview with Leo Babauta.

From time to time, I post short interviews with interesting people about their insights on happiness. During my study of happiness, I’ve noticed that I often learn more from one person’s highly idiosyncratic experiences than I do from sources that detail universal principles or cite up-to-date studies.

I’m a longtime fan of Leo Babauta’s wildly popular blog, Zen Habits. I always find a lot of thought-provoking material there about happiness and its related topics (exercise, creativity, relationships, productivity…) Leo also just came out with a terrific book, The Power of Less, about "the fine art of limiting yourself to the essential" -- it hit the Amazon bestseller list on the day of its release. His website, The Power of Less, has a lot of great material on the topic.

Leo lives on the island of Guam, has six children, runs marathons, and has done a lot of provocative thinking and writing about happiness.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Leo: Anything! I love reading, running, writing, spending time with my family, watching the ocean, taking a walk in nature, playing games and sports, drinking green tea, lounging around on a lazy Sunday afternoon, cuddling when it's rainy outside, talking with a good friend, wrestling with my toddlers. Any moment is an opportunity for happiness!

Gretchen: What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?
Leo: That happiness isn't something that will come at a later date in life -- it can be here and now. I was always waiting for something -- a better job, getting married, a nicer car, buying a house, traveling the world, retirement, wealth and fame. Trouble is, whenever you reach one of those things you're waiting for, you tend to start striving for the next thing, and you forget to be happy!

So I've learned, only recently, that I don't have to wait or strive for anything in order to be happy. I can be happy right now, and I am. Read my recent post on this.

Gretchen: Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
Leo: Thinking about the future or the past -- worrying, replaying conversations in my head, stressing out about things that aren't happening right now. Lately I've learned to focus on the moment more and more -- to be present more than ever before. It's really a miracle cure for unhappiness, stress, worry, depression, and everything else.

Thinking about the past and future is the cause of all unhappiness.

Gretchen: Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you've find very helpful?
Leo: "Smile, breathe and go slowly." - Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Zen monk, author and peace activist. I absolutely adore that quote, as my readers know. It's applicable in any situation -- when you're stressed at the office, stuck in traffic, doing chores, or even running a marathon -- it was my mantra when I ran the Honolulu Marathon in December.

I just love that in just a few words, Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us how to be present and be happy, right here and now.

Gretchen: If you're feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?
Leo: Going running always clears my head and helps me to feel better. I also try to focus myself back on the moment, through running and through breathing, because feeling blue is almost always caused by thinking about the past or future ... if you're in the moment the blueness goes away.

Also, I love cuddling with my children. Instant happiness.

Gretchen: Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?
Leo: The happiest people I know always focus on the positive things in their lives -- they always appreciate what they have, see the silver lining on everything, and find the good in everyone.

The people who aren't as happy focus on the negative things -- they complain, they pity themselves, they think they can't do something, and especially this: they criticize. They criticize others, and themselves. It always leads to unhappiness, for themselves and often those around them.

Gretchen: Have you always felt about the same level of happiness, or have you been through a period when you felt exceptionally happy or unhappy - if so, why? If you were unhappy, how did you become happier?
Leo: I wasn't always happy. It was only a few years ago that I was stressed and overworked, overweight, inactive, smoking, in debt, and so on. And I wasn't motivated to change anything.

I started making small, simple changes in my life, and these days I'm happier than ever. Small, baby steps did the trick.

Gretchen: Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
Leo: Sometimes, but these days it's not so much something I work on as a set of habits I have -- again, to remind myself to be present, to remind myself to be grateful and to appreciate life, to remind myself to cherish the small things. I am thankful for all that I have, and when I remember this, I'm instantly happy. It doesn't take much work. :)

Gretchen: Have you ever been surprised that something you expected would make you very happy, didn't - or vice versa?
Leo: Sure, lots of times! I thought getting a big promotion or raise would make me happy. Surprise! It only made me work harder and become more stressed, and the extra salary seemed to disappear right away. I thought a nicer vehicle would make me happier, but it just got me deeper into debt, cost more to maintain and fuel up, and was harder to drive because it was bigger than my old, small car.

I also thought being frugal and simplifying would be hard, and that the sacrifices would make me feel deprived and less happy. That was completely untrue -- I'm happier than ever now that I've simplified my life, and now that I'm able to focus on the essential things that I value most, that make me happy.

* I send out short monthly newsletters that highlight the best of the previous month’s posts. If you’d like to sign up, click here. Or just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) No need to write anything but “newsletter” in the subject line.

How a Monk's "Vow of Stability" Applies in Ordinary Life.

A few years ago, I read Thomas Merton’s famous memoir, The Seven Storey Mountain (it was this book that led me to read The Story of a Soul, which got me started on my obsessive interest with St. Thérèse of Lisieux), about his conversion to Catholicism and his decision to enter a Cistercian monastery.

I’ve been reading more Merton lately. In The Sign of Jonas, I learned to my surprise that Cistercian monks make five vows at the time of their profession. I knew about the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, but it turns out they also make vows of stability and conversion of manners.

I was intrigued with the vow of stability. This vow means that a monk stays put. Unless he’s sent somewhere else by his superiors, or gets a dispensation from Rome, a monk must remain in the monastery of his profession.

Merton explains: “By making a vow of stability the monk renounces the vain hope of wandering off to find a ‘perfect monastery.’ This implies a deep act of faith: the recognition that it does not much matter where we are or whom we live with…Stability becomes difficult for a man whose monastic ideal contains some note, some element of the extraordinary. All monastaries are more or less ordinary…Its ordinariness is one of its greatest blessings.”

When I first read this, it reminded me of – what else, marriage. Marriage is a vow of stability, made with the conviction that by committing yourself to one person, you’re better able to achieve happiness than by searching continually for the “perfect” person, and that the ordinariness that descends on it after the early exhilaration and novelty wear off is, in fact, one of its most prized aspects.

But the the vow of stability also reminds me of my favorite lines from Samuel Johnson. Quoting a Spanish proverb, Dr. Johnson proclaims, “He who would bring home the wealth of the Indies must carry the wealth of the Indies with him.” I puzzle over the meaning of this mysterious line all the time, but in this context, it suggests that the perfect monastery isn’t a place you can join, but an attitude of mind you must develop.

There’s a lesson here for happiness. It’s often tempting to think that we’d be happy if only external circumstances would change. Sometimes it’s true that some external change would make a huge difference to our happiness (some people argue that this is never true, that external conditions should never matter, but I think that’s unrealistic for most people) – but sometimes we need to embrace a vow of stability and make our happiness in the situation in which we find ourselves, instead of searching restlessly for perfect circumstances.

The vow of stability was difficult for Merton, because at least in the early days, he was tempted by the idea of joining the Carthusians – an order that has been described as a “community of hermits” where monks spend most of their time alone. As a Cistercian, he spent more time with his community than he wanted. I wonder why he didn’t join the Carthusians in the first place – does anyone know?

* I love being part of the LifeRemix network, and I always find great stuff to read when I visit.

* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Happiness Quotation from Eugène Delacroix

“The Natural History Museum is open to the public on Tuesdays and Fridays. Elephant, rhinoceros, hippopotamus; extraordinary animals! Rubens rendered them marvelously. I had a feeling of happiness as soon as I entered the place and the further I went the stronger it grew. I felt my whole being rise above commonplaces and trivialities and the petty worries of my daily life. What an immense variety of animals and species of different shapes and functions!”
-- Diary of Eugène Delacroix

* If you're looking for a way to prod yourself to keep your resolutions, check out Pledgehammer. It allows you to commit publicly to a resolution -- and to donate to charity if you don't keep it.

* I send out short monthly newsletters that highlight the best of the previous month’s posts. To sign up, click here. Or just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) No need to write anything more than “newsletter” in the subject line.

Your Happiness Project: Watch the Characterization.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

One of the major principles of happiness – and this comes as a shock to no one – is that perception shapes reality. The way we view something determines our experience. I saw this during the Inauguration. A person could say, “It’s fantastic to be here among so many people,” or a person could say, “It’s a pain to be stuck in these crowds and long lines.” Same reality, different perception.

I realized the importance of characterization when I eavesdropped on a few conversations between my three-year-old and her grandmother.

My daughter: “Can I please have some ice cream?” (yes, she did say ‘please’)
My mother-in-law: “Okay, but you had a cookie earlier, so I’m just going to give you a little bit.”
My daughter: “No, no, I want a big bowl! Not a little bit.”

My mother-in-law: “Tonight you’re going to go to bed nice and early.”
My daughter: “No, no, no! Not early, I want to stay up late!”

Had my mother-in-law said, “I’m giving you a big scoop” or “We’re letting you stay up late,” my daughter would have accepted that characterization instead of protesting. Same bowl of ice cream, same bedtime, different perception.

And this isn’t just true of children. The other day, I was talking to an acquaintance, and the subject of happiness came up. She said, “Well, Gretchen, you dabble in the subject of happiness, don’t you?”

Yes, in fact, I do dabble in the subject of happiness. I’ve been dabbling away for ten hours a day for more than three years now.

I’m proud to say that I handled it nicely in the moment, but I’m embarrassed to admit how much this characterization annoyed me. My reaction doesn’t speak well of me, at all; I know perfectly well that this person has no particular reason to know what I’m up to and that she didn’t mean to bug me – yet I found it hard not to feel irritated with that particular characterization.

It’s helpful to “Watch the characterizations” when we’re speaking to other people, and it’s also important when we’re characterizing things for ourselves. One of the challenges of my happiness project is to try to be more positive and lighthearted -- without being fake and superficial.

Often, I’ve found that I can characterize something in a way that’s more positive, but just as truthful. For example, “That meal was very filling,” instead of “That meal was very heavy.” Or “The play had a lot of great moments” instead of “The third act of the play was boring.” Sometimes, of course, I’m trying to make a specific critical point, and that’s fine, but sometimes remembering to “Watch the characterization” allows me to make my point in a less negative way – in particular, to myself.

* I subscribe to an interesting daily trend-watching newsletter, TrendCentral. Yesterday’s update listed some new slang terms, of which my favorite is:
Retox (ree-tox) v. To go back on your New Year's resolutions and do the opposite of the goals you set for yourself. "Instead of following my resolution to get fit this year, I decided to retox and take up cooking classes instead. Oh well, no one follows New Year's resolutions anyway, right?"

*Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Why It's Important to "Identify the Problem" (It's Harder than It Sounds).

My Eighth Commandment is “Identify the problem.” This sounds like such an obvious thing to do – if you have a problem, of course you know what it is, right? – that it’s hard for me to explain why that commandment is so important.

Fact is, I’ve found that often I’ll suffer some mild annoyance or inconvenience for years, because I just don’t take the time to think about the nature of the problem and how it might be solved. I think this is a mindfulness problem -- not paying enough attention to what is actually happening in the present moment.

Yesterday afternoon, I experienced a perfect example. When I’m writing my book or my blog, I try to work outside my home office, at a library or a coffee shop, where it's easier to concentrate. Recently, for a variety of reasons, I’ve been doing more on-line tasks, so I’ve been spending a lot of time at my own desk.

I’d noticed over the past few weeks that my eyes and even my face felt funny – strained and tired. I just kept telling myself that it was nothing, no big deal.

Then yesterday, I told myself, “Identify the problem! Problem: my eyes and facial muscles are tired.”

Having acknowledged the problem for the first time, I asked myself, “Why do I have this problem?”

I answered: “My eyes are strained because there’s too much light coming in from the window behind my computer monitors. I have a shade, and it’s down, but it’s letting too much light through.”

“Aha!” I thought proudly. “I’ve identified the problem! Too much light. So how will I solve this?” Well, I thought, I could buy a big piece of poster-board and prop it against the window, or I could hang a sheet over the window. Then I noticed – I have a blind on my window, as well as an inner shade! I’ve never used it, and I’d completely forgotten that it was there. This whole time, all I needed to do was to lower the blind.

Problem solved. I feel like an idiot, but my eyes feel a lot better.

* Through Twitter, I just discovered the blog by Gwen Bell and am having a lot of fun cruising through it. Lots of great material there.

* If you haven't seen it yet, you might enjoy my one-minute movie, The Years Are Short.

Nine Tips to Keep Yourself Exercising, from a Former Couch Potato

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Nine Tips to Keep Yourself Exercising.

One of the most commonly made, and most frequently broken, New Year’s resolutions is the resolution to exercise more.

People who exercise are healthier, more energetic, think more clearly, sleep better, have delayed onset of dementia...the list goes on.

There’s also a lot of research into the connection between exercise and happiness – some studies suggest that it provides a real boost, some studies suggest that while correlated, exercise isn’t a factor in making people happier. I’m interested to see what further studies reveal, but I’ve made up my own mind: in my experience, and the experience of everyone I know who exercises, exercise makes me calmer, more cheerful, and more alert.

But even once you’re convinced of the benefits, if you’re not inclined to exercise, it can be hard to adopt the habit. My favorite activity is reading in bed, and I don’t enjoy games of any sort, but over the years I’ve managed to transform myself into a regular exerciser by deploying these strategies:

1. Always exercise on Monday. This sets the psychological pattern for the week.

2. If at all possible, exercise first thing in the morning. The longer the day goes on, the more likely you are to get derailed.

3. Never skip exercising for three days in a row. You can skip a day, and you can skip two days, but on the third day, you must exercise no matter how inconvenient. (This rule is more effective than it sounds; it kept me exercising regularly during college.)

4. Give yourself credit for the smallest effort. When my father started running, he said that all he had to do was put on his running shoes and close the door behind him. I never push myself hard, because I know that if I did, I might stop exercising altogether. And don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. The fifteen-minute walk you DO take is better than the three-mile run you DON'T take.

5. If you don’t have time both to exercise and take a shower, find an activity that doesn’t require a shower afterward, like yoga or walking. I do an extremely tough weight-training regimen that doesn’t make me sweat (and yes, it is effective, even with no sweat!).

6. Look for affordable ways to make exercising more pleasant or satisfying. Could you upgrade to a nicer gym? Buy yourself a new iPod? Work with a trainer? Get a pedometer? (they’re only $20). A lot of people are feeling a real money crunch right now, but exercise is a high life priority, so if you can afford it, this is a place to spend some money if that helps.

7. Remind yourself of the benefits from exercising. Personally, I’m more motivated by short-term gratifications like “I’ll feel more focused” or “I’ll sleep better” than long-term considerations like “I’ll live longer” or “If I have surgery, I’ll recover quicker.” A trainer told me that, in her experience, men are more motivated by the idea of improving their performance (a better tennis game) or restoring an ability (climbing stairs without getting out of breath); women are more motivated by the promise of improving their appearance.

8. Think about context. If you find it much harder to go running in winter than summer, maybe the real trouble is that you don’t like the cold. Do you hate the loud music in your gym? Is your work-out so exhausting that you can’t face the rest of your day?

9. When choosing an activity, a gym, or an exercise class, make convenience a top priority. You’re much more likely to go to a mediocre gym near your office or home than to a great gym that’s out of your way.

Apart from the happiness gain you'll get from the exercise, merely the fact that you've kept your resolution to yourself will boost your happiness.

* A blog I've enjoyed for a long time is Marginal Revolution. It's about economics -- always interesting and often raises issues that touch directly on the subject of happiness.

* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Cold, Crowded, and Inconvient – But the Inauguration Is Making Me Very Happy

I’m very HAPPY to be in Washington, D.C. for the Inauguration. Thinking it over, I realize that there are several different aspects of the situation that are boosting my happiness.

First, it’s a happy occasion. Because this is a joyful event, everyone is cheerful, enthusiastic, chatty, and helpful. The huge crowds, the freezing weather, and the logistical difficulties just seem to make the occasion a bigger adventure.

Second, I realize that I rarely participate – directly or as an observer – in big national events. I’ve never been to the Superbowl; I don’t even watch the Superbowl on TV. I don’t follow American Idol. We live less than a mile from the parade route for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and I’ve never been (I have a friend whose family used to come up from New Orleans each year!). But when I do get into the spirit of these kinds of events, I love it. My daughter and I went to a bookstore at midnight to line up for the last Harry Potter book, and that was tremendously fun. Everyone in the country – and throughout the world – is watching the Inauguration, so it’s great to be here, myself.

Third, and the most significant, is the sense of elevation to everyone’s excitement. It’s not like watching the ball drop in Times Square for New Year’s Eve. Whether Barack Obama supporters or not, people seem to share the conviction that something very important has happened: the United States has taken an enormous step to achieve its promise. And the sense of that here in Washington is very powerful.

I feel very lucky to be here – but zoikes, it is cold.

*Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.