The secret to keeping your New Year's resolutions -- is there a magic formula?

From articles in the New York Times today, Alex Williams's New Year, New You? Nice Try and Ken Belson's As Resolutions Go, Spending Less May Actually Stick, I gleaned some statistics about resolutions-keeping:

---According to one survey, the top three resolutions made by Americans in 2009 are:
1. Losing weight -- 20%
2. Quitting smoking -- 16%
3. Spending less -- 12%
---About 80% of people who make resolutions stop keeping them by mid-February.
---Two-thirds of dieters gain back any lost weight within a year.
---Many people make and break the same resolution year after year.

These facts are pretty discouraging. Does that mean it's pointless to make a new year's resolution? I don't think so. You'll never succeed unless you try, so you might as well try.

If you really want change, THINK about it, plan it, probe it, keep yourself accountable, have a plan -- don't just reflexively say "This year I'm really going to learn to cook" and expect it to happen.

For example, in my case, I have a huge number of resolutions related to my happiness-project, and those I've managed to keep, more or less, or I've decided to discard them. The Resolutions Chart (see below) played a huge role in my ability to keep them, because I framed my resolutions as manageable, concrete tasks; I scored myself to give myself accountability; by reviewing the chart each day, I kept my resolutions uppermost in my mind.

Now, of course, my entire Happiness Project is based on resolutions-keeping, so I'm biased. I love resolutions. But it's true, they're hard to keep. I often comfort myself with the thought of the patron saints of resolutions -- Benjamin Franklin, Samuel Johnson, and St. Therese of Liseiux -- who talked often about how they failed to live up to their resolutions. But they still thought it was a worthwhile endeavor.

Ben Franklin wrote: “…on the whole, though I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet as I was, by the endeavor, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been had I not attempted it.”

My New Year's resolution for 2009? To entertain more. Somehow, this resolution didn't make it onto my official happiness-project Resolutions Chart. Big mistake. I've made and broken this resolution for at least seven years. Ah, but this year will be different...

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One of the great pleasures of my vacation was that I got to do a lot of reading. If you are Narnia/C.S. Lewis fan, I highly recommend Laura Miller's The Magician's Book. If you love reading a good novel -- one that is beautifully written, has fascinating characters, and a lot of suspense -- I highly recommend Marisha Pessl's Special Topics in Calamity Physics. I have to admit, this was a novel that reviewers kept saying was terrific, and I developed a kind of aversion to it. Why does that happen to me? I have no idea. But guess what, it really IS a fantastic novel.

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[adora]

Happy new year!

According to NPR Science Friday, some 40-46% of people who make new year's resolution will be successful in 6 months. Making a resolution increase the success rate 10 times! http://www.sciencefriday.com/program/archives/200812262

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's a very HEARTENING statistic. Thanks Adora!

[kathy]

Hi Gretchen
This year I'm going to try just one single resolution and see what happens. It's bit broad, but if consistently applied, will help me reach goals in many areas:

Make healthy choices.
Simple. Easy to remember. Hard to do.

[Lovelyn]

Happy New Year!
I always say that I don't make resolutions, but that's not completely true. I don't usually tell people about my resolutions because I don't want them to know if I fail. I think that's setting me up to fail before I even start.

[kazari]

I loved "Calamity Physics" too. Although it took me a while to read it.
I don't have a resolution, so much as a theme for the year. I am building a soul tribe! Check out magpie girl for details.

[Penny]

Wonderful points. I'm going to share them on my webpage blog at www.martinpenny.com where I too have been discussing setting goals and how to achieve them one step at a time. Great stuff here!

[Kate]

I make resolutions every year and my successful ones are specific, manageable and measurable. For 2009, I want to exercise more, so I resolved to do yoga twice a week.(Reading about Obama's reliance on daily exercise motivated me.) Success or failure with such a resolution is concrete and indisputable. Incremental improvements don't impress people as much as 180s, but they stick.

[Cecily T]

This definitely resonates with me. You need a plan, and simply waiting until the first of January and deciding that something is going to happen to make your resolution 'go' isn't going to work.

RE: Entertaining. I hear you on that. I wish we'd entertain more too. I did the Christmas party for my Bunco group and it was fun, but boy was it a lot of work, with the decorating and baking and shopping on top of hosting. Combined with the fact that we are just now getting our 18-month-old sleeping through the night, and we are planning child #2 for sometime in early 2010 (assuming all goes well), *and* we've only been in our house 2 years (with me mostly pregnant or with a newborn) and nothing is actually decorated, it makes it a hard idea. Yet, I don't want to wait until my kids are 3yo or so to get into entertaining! I guess the key for me is to start SLOWLY.

My hubby and I actually did the 101 things in 1001 days last year, so I think instead of any new resolutions we'll review that and see where we need to make the most progress. I know I listed specifically on there a few types of gatherings I'd like to have in terms of entertaining.

[Kimberly]

I resolved NOT to make resolutions, but instead, to make positive changes everyday. That way I don't feel as overwhelmed by getting something accomplished by a specific date, and I don't feel bad if I don't do something I'm suppose to. I figured it's better to take positive steps each day then make a resolution and break it by Valentines day. This way by the end of the year I can look back on 365 ways I did something to better myself and my life rather then a failed resolution.

[Marelisa]

Hi Gretchen: The more overwhelming a task seems, the less likely we are to even get started with it, much less see it through to completion. The author SARK coined the term micromovements, which is planning tiny steps to accomplish your goals. So instead of "sew a pillow", it could be: "Monday at 5:00 p.m. call Mary and ask her where she got that lovely purple fabric"; "Tuesday at 10:00 a.m put materials next to sewing machine"; "Thursday at 2:00 p.m., sew for twenty minutes"; and so on. You can't complete all projects with this approach, but for those that you just can't seem to get started with, starting out with tiny steps might finally allow you to see it through :-) Happy New Year!

[joelle]

I've come to realize that the reason why our resolutions aren't accomplished is because of all of follow-through via regular status updates. =)

This year, I'm determined to be more systematic in fulfilling my New Year's resolutions.

http://mommybanker.wordpress.com/2008/12/30/2009-goal-setting-keeping-promises/

[Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen]

I've set several writing goals (I'm a fulltime freelance writer), and last year I found that the best way to achieve them is to break them down into a "to do" list.

This isn't new information, but boy does it work! So, if my goal is to earn $5,000 per month, then I need to create 3 new article ideas a week, recycle 10 old article ideas, etc etc.......breaking my lofty goals into practical, easily achievable steps is the magic formula that works for me :-)

[Gulam Jamal]

Hi Gretchen,
I love your site. This is my first time contributing.

I believe reaching your goals is about being honest with yourself. If you really want to reach your goal then you should define the goal so it can be measured.

This will force you to look inside yourself and commit to something bigger than you know yourself to be.

MEASURABLE GOALS and SUPPORTING ACTIONS -
That's what I believe people are missing when they fail in reaching their goals.

I like the example from one of the comments that they would like to "entertain more".

My wife and I have this goal as well.
However, "entertaining more" is not a well defined goal. That's a wish and it will most likely not be sustainable.

My wife and I defined our goal for entertaining to be: "We'll entertain twice a month."

Now, we can measure this and determine if we're successful or not.

Next, we take actions that will help us realize the goal. We choose the date, pick the friends who we're going to invite, choose the menu, etc.

And when we see it happening, it makes us very happy.

The final step in keeping the goal is to reevaluate. So after a month, we'll sit down and decide if twice a month is a goal that we are happy with. We can then change it to make it more or less frequent.

I think we can all have our goals come true, and when we can see that we're making it happen, we are a lot happier.

Thanks
gulam

[dan do]

Quit Pig fat, quit smoking and destroying your planet is not a resolution.

[LP]

Another point to consider in deciding whether to make a New Year's resolution: some people benefit from doing things at the same time as a bunch of other people, especially if they're difficult or new things. I think these are the same people who like to take group classes for cooking, language learning, fitness, etc. Some people dislike doing things in concert with others, and feel better about a new project when they're taking it on alone, or with select supporters -- these people usually prefer to learn a new language by teaching themselves, for example. Making a Jan. 1 resolution is a great way for the first group to feel like they're not alone in making a change, but is probably the kiss of death for the second group.