Why Facebook Can Make You Happier.

Younger people don't say this, but I’ve heard several people in an older age bracket make a similar argument recently: Facebook isn’t good for people’s happiness. “Instead of making plans and meeting face to face and doing things," one guy told me, “everyone’s typing away in front of a screen, alone. It’s terrible for human relationships.”

I disagree. True, meeting face to face is more energizing, more fun, and strengthens ties better. But not using Facebook because it isn’t as good as meeting in person is an example of letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.

In my own experience, Facebook allows me to manage ties to a much larger group of people than I could possibly manage in a more direct way. It makes it practical to keep track of people through many changes of email, address, etc. It gives me a quick way to reach out to friends, and also a low-key way to connect with people whom I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling or even emailing. And I'm sure not going to write a letter!

Perfect example: This morning I had coffee with a friend, “Jane,” whom I hadn’t seen in many years. We met when, a year after college, I moved to San Francisco for ten months and lived with my college roommate, who was dating a guy who had a bunch of friends from college, including Jane -- we all spent a lot of time together.

After I left San Francisco, I moved to New Haven, then to New York City, then to Washington, D.C., then back to New York. Jane moved from San Francisco to Cambridge, then to New York City, then to Kampala, then to Boston, then to Nairobi, then back to New York City.

I always liked Jane a lot, but she wasn’t one of my closest friends, and I lost track of her. (As she told me, "You lose five people with every move.") Recently she found me on Facebook, and we re-connected -- tremendously fun and big happiness booster. It turns out we live thirteen blocks from each other!

Everyone from ancient philosophers to contemporary researchers agrees that the KEY to happiness is strong ties to other people. We need need close, long-term relationships, we need to be able to confide in others, we need to belong, we need to give and receive support. Studies show that if you have five or more friends with whom to discuss an important matter you’re far more likely to describe yourself as “very happy.” If a mid-life crisis hits, one of the most common complaints is the lack of true friends.

Anything that helps you hang onto your friends is going to make you happier.

*
Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[Roving Lemon]

I totally agree that Facebook can contribute to happiness, and I'll add another way: it can help you feel connected to people when you're far away from your main sources of social support. I've recently relocated to Australia, and am still in the early stages of building a social network here. Facebook has been a big help in keeping me from feeling isolated or lonely during this transition.

[Amberlynn]

Just this weekend my husband and I were talking about this. We completely agree with you. It's not just about reconnecting. We remembered a friend's gathering due to someone's status - and when we got there immediately had new things to discuss with people. Call it enhanced small talk, or skipping the small talk and getting right to the good stuff, Facebook has only enhanced our face-to-face friendships.

[Beth]

I so totally agree. I have reconnected with old friends and feel more connected with people who have known me for a long, long time. All the moving I did with respect to my job really disconnected me from any social network and I don't make friends easily, so this is wonderful for me.

[Nai]

I really enjoyed this post. I personally don't think FB makes people unhappy. But unhappy people do use FB. I can see how it may seem strange to sit in front a screen all of the time, but most people do it all day anyways so it might as well be fun.

I've reconnected with a lot of people from previous phases of my life. Now, if only I could get out from in front of my screen and meet those people. :)

[Christopher]

I also love connecting with friends from years and years ago on Facebook. Having gone decades with no contact and then getting daily updates on their lives is pretty wonderful.

[adora]

I have terrible back pain since last week, couldn't even get off the bed for a week. I'm glad that I could catch up with friends via Facebook. Instead of boring daytime TV, I was looking at my friends' photos, their baby's first step videos, comment on their pictures...
They post on my wall to wish me get well soon. It helped me feel less pain. It wouldn't happen otherwise. I would never tell 150 people that I have back pain over the phone!

[Amanda]

I'll weigh in to agree but from a different angle.

I think Facebook is fabulous for WAHMs. There are a lot of well educated, intelligent women these days who are WAHMs; what they give up with this choice, however, is the interaction you get at an office or workplace. Facebook (and Twitter and others) go a long way to helping these women have that connection, take care of their kids, AND run a business/contribute to/improve the family income.

The idea that people are "typing away" instead of interacting misses the point that a lot of people would not get to interact at all, or be able to work, or take care of their kids themselves without the "typing away".

I think a lot of older people are sometimes guilty of forgetting (or else idealizing) what life was like when they were young people, young parents, etc. Further, since a lot of these new technologies do not make a lot of intuitive sense to them, the technologies do not seem to serve a real purpose.

The irony? Older people are often the most isolated of all age groups. The challenge is to find a way to get them to overcome that "rose colored glasses" view of the past as well as their own hesitation with new technologies so they themselves can benefit/experience the happiness of being connected.

[Kathy H]

I totally agree. I've reconnected with some of my friends from my old Brownie troop that I haven't seen in 35 years, and enjoyed getting to know new local friends better. My friendships are deeper and wider, and my support network is stronger. In the past few days Facebook friends have pointed me in the direction of a great place to eat, a medical specialist, and a place to get a watch battery replaced. It's hard for non-Facebook people to understand, but hopefully they'll learn soon enough.

[Liara Covert]

Facebook renews former relationships and strengthens new ones. A person can certainly see how interacting with different kinds of people can enrich the depth and extent of happiness. Yet, happiness begins within. If a person does not decide to be happy or realize external things do not affect core happiness, then that person is missing something significant.

[Yes, But Still...]

Exactly! I've noticed that the 'newsfeed' helps me to stay connected to people that I only see once a year or so.

To me, it seems that these social networking tools (facebook, etc.) enable us to satisfy a strong human motive to stay connected to others---with less effort than before.

[Tim's Mom]

"meeting face to face is more energizing, more fun, and strengthens ties better."

For introverts, face to face can be draining. Facebook is a great way to keep in contact with people I care about in a way I can manage.

[Heidi in California]

Oh you are so correct, Gretchen. Today I found 2 friends from 15 years ago! They were friends, not just random people I met in school, but real friends. Somehow we got busy with our own lives and lost touch, until today. Facebook is life-changing!

[Juli]

This post reminds me of what Gladwell said in The Tipping Point about the importance of cultivating weak ties as well as the strong ones. I think Facebook is proof that both matter to happiness. :)

[Max]

You are so right on this. I really like this aspect of Facebook and all the other Social Networks out there.
Getting messages from people you haven't seen for a little while or writing them messages gives myself a boost of happiness.
Especially since I'm a mostly introvert person.

Wasn't there a contest on Facebook, where yor're asked to share your story on positive experiences with Facebook a little while ago? Seems like many of the commentors would have had chances to win. :)

[Sabrina]

I'm sorry but I have to disagree. Just a few days ago I decided to close my facebook account and wrote them a message to delete it for good. The same I did with Myspace. I think it's a waste of time to spend hours in front of a monitor to get in contact with people. There are other ways to find long lost friends and by the way, some day one realizes that if someone didn't make it into your present something was wrong with this relationship.
What makes me happy is living this moment, minute, hour and leave the past behind. I am what I am now and not what and who I was in the past. People change with age and life experience.
Just my opinion.

[Mark W.]

I would guess the older people that you refer to in the first sentence are making an argument regarding Facebook without actually trying it themselves. I don't have an account myself but would not make a happiness judgment without trying it on for size myself. I think you definitely have to consider source and experience here.

[EscapeVelocity]

I find that with both Facebook and LiveJournal, I get frequent updates about the people who update frequently, and hear nothing about the people who don't update frequently. Most of the former are casual acquaintances, as it happens, while my one really close friend who is on Facebook never updates her status. And, of course, the two acquaintances who send me email chain letters and funny stuff are always sending me silly stuff in Facebook, too, which provides enormous potential for that sort of thing.

[Jade]

To quote Sabrina, "I'm sorry but I have to disagree. Just a few days ago I decided to close my facebook account and wrote them a message to delete it for good. The same I did with Myspace. I think it's a waste of time to spend hours in front of a monitor to get in contact with people. There are other ways to find long lost friends and by the way, some day one realizes that if someone didn't make it into your present something was wrong with this relationship.
What makes me happy is living this moment, minute, hour and leave the past behind. I am what I am now and not what and who I was in the past. People change with age and life experience.
Just my opinion."

I completely agree. I think FB and MYSPACE has caused myself a great deal of unhappiness due to petty drama and people only stalking my page instead of actually getting to know me and talk to me.

[Jen]

I agree. My new FB account lets me keep in friendly contact with old friends I haven't called in years. It takes a big reason to call an old friend and talk for an hour; it takes thirty seconds to type "looks like that trip was lots of fun!"

I haven't stopped or reduced calling or visiting my dear friends and family. Facebook is an "and", not an "or".

[Gillian]

I agree with Sabrina. I deactivated my Facebook account because it was causing me great unhappiness. For a while, I felt "popular" because my number of friends grew and grew, and I did connect with some long lost people from my past. But something about watching other people's lives was making me crazy. It's like one big reality TV show. I decided the energy I was spending there could be put to better use, like paying more attention to what was immediately around me now, here.

I think it's a great tool to reconnect with and find people, but I would like it to end there. I'd rather make the effort TO write a letter to someone rather than keep in contact via Facebook. It's easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy in my experience.

[Tanya]

I'm with Gillian above. Catching it with someone from old times may be fun at first, but the people around us right now should be the most important. They are the ones who lend us a hand when we need it and I have found it's well worth the effort to develop relationships with people you can actually spend time with. I have spent quite a lot of time connecting with friends from the past on Faceook, but in the long run it is very unfulfilling. And as for these people who have 356 "friends"? ug, get real. I don't have the time for it, and the time spent on Facebook was time I could have spent investing in the relationships with people right beside me. I think it can be used as a networking tool to some extent, but is definitely not worth all the hype surrounding it. Especially people who use it as a substitute for genuine friendship.

[GretchenRubin]

So interesting to hear different people's perspectives -- a new technology, a new element in people's lives.

[GretchenRubin]

I accidentally hit "post" too fast. Interesting to consider how and why people use it differently:

How do extroverts/introverts use it, like it, dislike it?

How about people who dislike talking on the phone (like me) vs. people who love the phone? Note-writers and non-writers?

How about people in different stages of their lives? Some people probably find it boring because their friends rarely update; others are at a stage where there's a lot of "drama" as one commenter pointed out.

Do people who have trouble networking or really dislike doing it(this is a common complaint I hear) find that FB makes it easier or is just another thing to feel guilty about not doing?

[Danielle LaPorte]

I'm a total FB convert. Of course, it's a marketing tool for me, but to the heart of the matter, I've reunited with people I adored years ago. I get to witness success and real life and families growing. Love it.

[Michelle P.]

Gretchen-
I have been following your site now for a few months and love it. I was just debating this same Facebook issue with friends and was agreeing with the guy who said it was bad for human relationships. But, then I realized that I am now back in touch with friends whom I have not talked to in months or years. One friend said it perfectly on Facebook yesterday: "Facebook is sorta like taking a smoking break with old friends."

[judy]

As an introvert trying hard to get more extroverted, I like Facebook... mostly. I do have to guard against using it INSTEAD of getting out of the cave, but I am in touch with people, as Gretchen says, that I wouldn't normally call or email, and I am encouraged when they comment on photos or notes or my blog. It's positive reinforcement to continue putting myself out there.

[MJ]

I have very mixed feelings about Facebook. It has helped me reconnect with a few people, which is nice, but it is an enormous potential time suck (do I really need countless emails every day telling me that X has tagged me and Y has written on my wall - many posts requiring some kind of response to remain "friendly?"). I'm a busy person, I can't be on FB often writing on other people's walls. Right now it is more annoyance than anything.

And the reconnections are pretty shallow. So I said Hi to Kristi from high school after she said Hi to me - is that a real relationship?

I'm undecided about FB - I can see myself using it sporadically for the future, or cancelling my account with no regrets.

[Shannon]

I can't really decide about Facebook. I think it does have some value because I don't really want to keep up with everyone's e-mail. And for my really close friends it's a good way to see pictures of there kids and stuff. But there's so much on there that doesn't do anything for me, such as the status updates and the requests for 25 things. Maybe it's something about my personality, but sometimes it does make me feel bad about the books I haven't read or the bands I don't know. I think it's better not to know exactly what everyone else is doing all the of the time.

I've decided to be on Facebook, but mainly to use the e-mail function and to keep up with a small circle of close friends. And not to feel guilty about ignoring requests.

[Sophie]

Facebook is particularly good for the introverts among us. I grew to understand a lot about myself reading psychologist Laurie Helgoe's new book, Introvert Power. I'm no longer ashamed of my stay-at-home/e-mail/Facebook ways.

[Jade]

How do extroverts/introverts use it, like it, dislike it?

I would say I'm in between and I did use it as a way to catch up with old friends, but they didn't take the time to nuture a friendship with me, which is probably why I didn't talk to them until FB.

How about people who dislike talking on the phone (like me) vs. people who love the phone? Note-writers and non-writers?

I like to write and definitely love talking on the phone. I have had personal problems where messages, wall posts, etc. have been taken the wrong way because you can't tell as much emotion or how people are trying to portray what they say like you can tell from a voice tone, etc.

How about people in different stages of their lives? Some people probably find it boring because their friends rarely update; others are at a stage where there's a lot of "drama" as one commenter pointed out.

I'm 22, so of course I have younger friends who do tend to make FB another high school drama fest, and either someone doesn't update or check their page, making it impossible to communicate with them on their anyway, or you have those who spend so much time on there they are watching your every move and critiquing it. (I had to get rid of my FB and Myspace because an ex's sister would stalk me, even though I blocked her from it.)

Do people who have trouble networking or really dislike doing it(this is a common complaint I hear) find that FB makes it easier or is just another thing to feel guilty about not doing?
I think the networking aspect is good and I did meet a lot of people (in my case specifically when I was engaged to a sailor, I met a lot of military girls, some who I still speak to.

[tasterspoon]

I've been thrilled with Facebook, especially with re-connecting with long lost high school friends as adults. We went to a very small international school abroad, so we're scattered all over the world and we never have reunions. But each time I stumble over another alumna I'm astonished by how much we share - even if we weren't that close in high school. Maybe it just goes to show how much of your thinking really is based on formative years rather than inherent traits. Anyway, I've been delighted to see how people have turned out.

Another upside: it's a great way to ask for favors without putting anyone on the spot. For instance, I'm learning to ride a mountain bike, and wouldn't ask anyone point blank to borrow theirs (assumption being that I'll crash theirs), but I can put out a request 'at large' over Facebook and individuals feeling generous will offer - no pressure. It's a real gift that way.

[MJ]

Second comment - I often test out in MBTI as an Introvert, but I do not like Facebook that much at all. Any day of the week I'd rather interact face to face or even email one person with more depth and intensity.

Maybe I'm not really that much of an Introvert?

[organicmango]

How facebook can make me unhappy: reading about other people's romance, SO's, spouses, children, which makes me feel lonely. I try my best to be happy with being single - which I have been for a long time - and hopeful about meeting someone - but it gets me down to go on-line and read about how my friends and acquaintances and their budding relationships. Sometimes facebook seems like a big party that I'm not invited to.

[schmutzie]

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[Kristin]

I love this post! So timely - just last night I referenced this blog in my first note posted on FB (the "25 Things About Me That You Might Not Know" meme that's been bobbling around lately). About FB, my husband would grouse: "If [my friends] want to know about me, they can just ask me for coffee." If I went for coffee with all of my friends individually, it would take 15,000 miles of travel and nearly 4 years of dedicated effort to do what a small "tag" or "poke" can do in seconds. My small triumph: This week, my husband joined the FB party!

[nicole]

I disagree but I'm a pretty weird case. I'm 22 and should be in the middle of the twitter/myspace/facebook craze but all I end up doing is comparing my life to others and questioning why I'm not a good or pretty or succesfull as they are. I think I'm one of the few in my generation that loathes these type of social networking.

[Fletchy B]

Wow. I was a facebook naysayer for years, espousing the very argument that in person relationships were more valuable and should be cherished. I scoffed at the idea of virtual friend requests. Weren't we friends already? In reality?

Recently however, I realized that I was avoiding facebook just to avoid facebook. At a gathering with in-person friends, I was the one stalwart non-facebooker. They were all talking about facebooking, and I was out of the loop.

At first, I was just mildly annoyed. But then, then, they talked about sharing photos (pics that I never got to see, because I was sans-facebook and it was too inconvenient to email them to me). They talked about posting upcoming events so our extended group of friends would be included (sometimes I wasn't included since I didn't get the invites). And they talked about finding people from your past, folks that meant so much to you at the one stage of your life (folks who I secretly wanted to reconnect with).

So, I caved. I joined, I have the virtual friends, the posted pics, some flair, some pokes (still not sure what that's all about). And, I have really enjoyed reconnecting with the amazing, diverse people I have known through the years.

My query now is not what the fanaticism about facebook is all about, but rather, how much facebook happiness is too much?

[Liz]

I know all my Facebook "friends" personally. Many of them are my husband's family, where there are 4 generations all on Facebook and mostly playing scrabble together. They don't live near each other, this is the "closest" they have ever got. My other FB friends range from someone I met in the Infants, to someone I babysat 25 years ago, to my own dear child. It may not be for everyone, but FB is adding to my happiness!

[Ann N.]

I enjoy connecting with old friends on my facebook page, but I enjoy it in moderation. I like to take a break--2 to 3 days--and then go back and see what's going on...
I don't feel the need to respond to every comment. But it is fun seeing photos and reading updates.

[kathy]

I opened a Facebook profile and "friended" my young adult children so I could keep up with them. None of us are big phone talkers and we're all just so busy all the time living our lives. The serendipity of this was that I also reconnected with friends that I had lost touch with. I either found them or they found me through other connections. For me it's another tool for communication, not a popularity contest. I check in occasionally to see what's going on or to leave my daughters a note to call me once in a while :). It works.

[Jade]

Nicole...I'm 22 as well and I was the only one in my class recently when asked who used Facebook who said NO! I feel like I'm the only one sometimes but I agree I don't like living in that world.

[Kris]

I've found that Facebook has created more opportunities for face to face meetings with old friends.

I think it is an amazing coagulant for bringing out footloose society back together.

I love it. I've been happier since I started using it more.

I just wonder if they will be able to handle the load when all of the world becomes a member.

[Jenny]

Deep breath.
I can see that FB can be positive for some people. If you have an existence in the blogosphere, or you live overseas, away from family and friends, it's a way to notify about what you're up to, share photos (if you don't mind assigning the IP to FB, that is) and so on.
But for me, it's a source of dissatisfaction and unhappiness, such that I have been pondering for some time whether to close my account and put up the sign: "If you really want to be my friend, see me in real life. If not, have a nice life and goodbye!"

I recently realised that one of my least helpful and life-giving habits is engaging in social comparison. Common for people who experience depression, apparently. It's on my list of "things that don't help". I have a list of "things that help", and I read both each day, to remind myself of the habits I want to replace. FB is the means by which people can post all the good things in their lives, and so it gives an inaccurate picture of what is really happening - and providing hte perfect means of comparing someone else's outside with my inside.

Or perhaps I just have the wrong "friends".

And who hasn't noticed the mindlessness and self-obsession of those who post "Jenny is washing her hair", or "John is annoyed with his ISP" status notices? For goodness sakes! Not interested!!

Like any tool, it has to be used in a way that is productive and helpful. Letting the tool master us is not helpful.

I think I'll eventually cut my ties with FB. I think I'll have developed further as a perosn when I can do this.

[Mike Greer]

I agree with the daily practice of doing something to support happiness. For the past few months I've been combining my daily cardio-walking with listening to Brian Johnson's PhilosophersNotes MP3 downloads (kinda like Cliff's Notes, MP3-PDF style). I've learned a bunch and almost always come away with a positive energy take-away.
Mike G.

[Lydia Fernandes]

This is indeed a very interesting and timely topic given the explosion of social media. I created a FB account early in 2007, and quickly realized it wasn't for me. It became very "gamey", and for me it just didn't align with my direction. I can easily see the value it can potentially create for a great number of people, but for me it was even more than just a distraction. It was work. And not meaningful kind of "work" for me. It was fraught with, "join this" and "so and so poked you". It superceded...for me...the value of connection it probably inherently has. Personally, I'd much rather connect in person.....but my busy mom/entrepreneur life doesn't always jive with that. So I tend to connect via email which just seems to work for me. I just could not muster up the discipline and patience I would think is required to meaningfully manage FB. Sometimes I wish I could...because it is just so darn popular...but it just doesn't jive with me, sadly!

I'm sure I'm missing out on connecting with oodles of people from my past, but I'll have to find a new creative way to make that happen beyond FB.

But I'm glad to hear that there are people that have been able to draw real meaning in using it and have found more value in it than not. Great post!

[Susan Sager]

Being relatively new to FB, I am still on the fence. As a total extrovert I never felt the need for such a form of communication, but 'working' in the customer service industry that happens to fly people places makes for hugely varied schedules and locales. It is handy, but nothing email couldn't handle. The groups are just fun! Connecting with students from YEARS ago is fun too. But bottom line for me is: it encourages us to have too many friends that we (as women) TRY to keep track of; and, those who have always felt inferior in some way may see the posts of others and feel bad AGAIN that they are not as bright/cool/rich/beautiful/fabulous/talented.

[Mike]

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[Kali]

If it were not for Facebook, I would not have recently connected with so many special people from my past. Would it be great to hop in the car and head to Boston to see this "long lost friend"? Sure. Maybe that will be a trip in the works this spring but in the meantime, I can see her Superbowl photos and baby photos she uploaded last night. A virtual connection can be as strong as a real-life connection

[Monique Hurley]

Thanks, Gretchen! You inspired me to finally join Facebook, and I've already caught up with two greatly-missed friends from my past. I feel happier and more connected already!

[Roz]

Facebook is good for deaf people too, we're on a level playing field online :)

[Mel]

Facebook (and previously MySpace, too) has been such a relational blessing to me!

Besides all the reasons you mentioned in your blog, social networking sites like FB just fit better with my personality. I only add people I know -- I don't use it to meet people -- and my old AND new/current friends alike just use it to stay in touch. I am personally more of an introvert who'd rather e-mail than pick up the phone; but with half of my friends and most of my family 5,000 miles away and 3 timezones behind, anyway, it's difficult to coordinate phone calls.

Actually, since most of my friends are also on FB, it's often easier to reach them there than by phone! I've also found that it's given me a lot MORE opportunities to schedule face-to-face get-togethers with those friends. I feel like I'd never see the majority of my friends if it WEREN'T for FB! Plus, it IS fun to reconnect with people from your past who you never thought you'd see again.

[Jules]

Mass communication is a double edge sword... On one hand, it provides ambiguity and the other it may be a replacement for live human interaction. My experience has been about balance between the two...

Facebook and other mass mediums have their place in modern day society without a doubt. These sites are a vehicle to connect or reconnect with people. It is what it is...

I am personally elated to have found a forum in which I can network, prosper and grow friendships.

[Jules]

One more thing... I have read many posts about the "reality" of mass communication on FB. Who cares! If you don't like it then don't read it!!!

[Asia]

Hi Gretchen,

I just saw this site as a referred site from Makeuseof.com - they have wonderful articles about all the different and useful websites on the Internet. Well, yours was there in an article, and since I have clicked on it, I have been reading your blogs for the last few hours. It's simply wonderful. I have already bookmarked this page!

I have a Facebook account and a MySoace account. Here are some things I like about them, and some things I do not like about them:

Facebook (FB) is a wonderful site and yes I have to agree, it is a very useful networking site to keep in touch with friends. I have been able to KIT with many of my high school friends and old college friends. I have noticed however the drama and the belittling of people on FB. Just recently one of my friends became upset over the fact that I blocked my wall from everyone, and texted me about it. He became so personal, trying to get information from me about why I blocked my wall. When I told him to send me an email with anything he wanted to talk about, he became enraged and wanted to end the friendship. Over a wall. That is enough for me to want to get rid of my FB altogether. Not everyone needs to have their personal lives at the disposal of others. I do agree with those who left comments stating how they did not like FB and decided to get rid of their page. It makes sense.

MySpace is another great place to handle networking with long lost friends and relatives. However, it's not as safe as FB is (in my opinion). Even if you block your page from others outside of your friend list, from seeing your information, they can still see your pictures and gain access to some type of information. Plus, I have seen my own share of drama where my so called best friend wrote some very mean things about me behind my back to one of her friends I didn't know. So much immature stuff. Therefore, MySpace is also one of those sites I do not want to use to network with anymore. I am an avid phone texter (i hate talking on the phone myself unless I really push myself to do so when I have to talk on the phone), and emailer, so FB and MySpace will be used minimally to keep in touch with the friends I don't exactly want to hear from all the time.

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[Paula Salmon]

I love this article and agree so much. Actually, joining FB helped me to realize how unhappy I was with my current situation in life. As I started reconnecting with old friends...I was reminded that I used to be happy. Consequently, I made some huge changes in my life and am on the road to a new, happy me!

[Sabrina]

The way I see it, Facebook (and other social networking sites) is a mere vehicle. Much depends on how one uses it. I get more than a little tired of the people and media entities who are constantly slamming facebook and those who use it as if we're all boring drones with no life. That's simply not so. Many times I find I'm much happier chatting with friends with common interests who may live live far away me than I am being stuck in the same room with the same humdrum people (some within my own family) with whom I find I have absolutely nothing in common and who seem to enjoy doing nothing but either complaining or putting down the things in life I find interesting. I find having to defend my love of plants, the Latin language and Rick Springfield a tedious waste of time with those in "real time" so what's wrong with going online and finding kindred spirits? Saves everyone's sanity that way lol