What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Money: 9 Tips to Avoid Overspending.

WalletmoneyEvery Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Nine tips to avoid overspending.

One source of unhappiness for people is feeling out of control of their spending – and this is a problem that’s far more widespread now than it was a year ago. Feeling regret about having bought something is a very unpleasant sort of unhappiness.

Being an under-buyer, as opposed to an over-buyer, I don’t generally have much trouble avoiding overspending. I have more trouble prodding myself to make the effort to buy things I actually need.

Nevertheless, even with my under-buying ways, I sometimes come home with something I didn’t really need to buy. Stores use extremely clever strategies to winkle customers into making purchases. Here are some strategies to make sure you don’t make purchases you regret:

1. Be wary of the check-out areas. There are lots of enticing little items here; ask yourself if you really need something before you add it to your pile. How many times have I picked up a jar of Balmex?

2. Get in and get out. The more time you spend in a store, the more you’re likely to buy. Even better: don’t even go in the store. Then you definitely won’t buy.

3. Question the need for an upgrade. You might want that device with a slick new function, or to get the improved version of what you have now, but do you really need it?

4. Be polite to salespeople, but don’t feel like they’re your new best friends. Don’t buy something because you’re worried about hurting their feelings or having made them do a lot of work helping you or explaining products to you. (At the same time, be respectful of clerks’ efforts. The other day, I was in Gap Kids, and I saw someone rifle through a pile of beautifully stacked shirts in a way that meant that they’d all have to be re-folded. Was he malicious or oblivious? I couldn’t tell.)

5. Don’t shop when you’re in a hurry or when you’re hungry.

6. Stick to a list. I’ve found that after I’ve decided to buy one thing, I’m far more likely to throw in other impulse items, because I know that I’m committed to going through the hassle of paying.

7 . Beware of sale items, which make you feel like you can’t afford not to buy, or limited-time offers, which make you feel like you have to take advantage of a special deal. If you don’t need or want something, it’s not a good deal, not matter how cheap it is. A friend of mine told her husband, “I got this 50% off!” and he answered, “That means it was 50% ON.” Along the same lines…

8. Don’t buy anything that you don’t know you need – this is especially important with clothes. If you’re not careful, you can buy a pair of pants marked down 75%, then realize that you can’t really wear them unless you buy the right shoes to go with them.

9. Choose cash or credit card. Some people find it far harder to spend actual physical cash; other people find that paying cash makes a purchase seem trivial, even when the dollar amount is high. Know whether you’re more inclined to overspend with cash or credit cards – and leave that payment method at home.

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I discovered a terrific new site for working mothers, Mama Bee. Great material, helpful information, and beautifully written.

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Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.


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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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