Happiness Myth No. 6: Money Can't Buy Happiness.

As I’ve studied happiness over the past few years, I’ve learned many things that surprised me. Each day for two weeks, I’m debunking one “happiness myth” that I believed before I started my happiness project. On Friday, I wrote about Myth No 5: A "Treat" Will Cheer You Up.

Myth No. 6: Money Can't Buy Happiness.

Well, money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy lots of things that contribute mightily to happiness.

As the current financial downturn is making vividly clear, money contributes to happiness mostly in the negative; the lack of it brings much more unhappiness than possessing it brings happiness. (Good health is the same way – it’s easy to take money or health for granted until you don’t have it anymore.) People’s biggest worries include financial anxiety, health concerns, job insecurity, and having to do tiring and boring chores. Spent right, money can go a long way to relieving these problems.

Also, if spent wisely, money can help you boost your happiness. For example, philosophers and scientists agree that having strong ties to other people is the KEY to happiness, and money can pay for a plane ticket to visit your sister, a babysitter for a date night with your sweetheart, or pizza and beer for a Super Bowl Party with friends. Novelty and challenge will make you happier, and money can pay for a trip to France, for a drawing class, for a mountain bike.

Is money essential for developing strong ties to other people or finding ways to challenge yourself? Of course not. But money can make it easier. Some of the best things in life aren’t free.

Whether rich or poor, people make choices about how they spend money, and those choices can boost happiness or undermine happiness. It’s a mistake to assume that money will affect everyone the same way. No statistical average can say how a particular individual would be affected by money—depending on that individual’s circumstances and temperament. Three factors shape the significance of money for you:

* It depends on what kind of person you are. You might want to own a horse, or you might want to own a turtle. You might have six children and ailing, dependent parents, or you might have no children and robust parents. You might love to travel or you might prefer to putter around the house.

* It depends on how you spend your money. Some purchases are more likely to contribute to your happiness than others. You might buy cocaine, or you might buy fresh produce. You might splurge on a big-screen TV, or you might splurge by going to a more convenient gym.

* It depends on how much money you have relative to the people around you, and relative to your own experience. One person’s fortune is another person’s misfortune.

The current economic climate underscores that third aspect of the money/happiness relationship: our happiness is affected by whether we have more or less than we used to have.

My First Splendid Truth holds that “To think about happiness, think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.” We’re made happier by the feeling that we are learning, growing, seeing change for the better. This applies to the intellectual, spiritual, and emotional parts of our lives – and also, for most people, the financial part.

Feeling like we have less than we did – unless that’s the result of a conscious decision – can be a happiness challenge. In one striking study, people were asked whether they’d rather have a job that paid $30,000 in year one, $40,000 in year two, and $50,000 in year three, or a job that paid $60,000, then $50,000 then $40,000. In general, people preferred the first option, with its raises—despite the fact that at the end of the three years, they would have earned only $120,000 instead of $150,000.

Their decision might seem irrational, but in fact, the people who chose the first option understood the importance of growth to happiness. People are very sensitive to relative changes in their condition, for better or worse. (Sidenote: some people feel like they have more with less, so they get a feeling of growth by simplifying their lives.)

If you feel like you’re worse off now than you were two years ago, that’s an unhappy feeling. Some quick ways to make yourself feel better: count your blessings; distract yourself with something fun or interesting; find ways to assert control over your situation (even to do something as small as to clean out a closet); spend time with friends; or do something to help someone else – you can sign up to be an organ donor right this minute. You'll feel great!

What do you think? How do you think of the relationship between money and happiness? Important, unimportant? I think this is one of the most complex and fascinating subtopics within the subject of happiness.

*
I love a good manifesto, and here's a great one on Scobleizer.

*
If you haven't seen my one-minute movie, The Years Are Short, you might enjoy it.

Comments

[Vi]

Interesting post. I generally agree with your insights. I particularly like your opening sentence ("Well, money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy lots of things that contribute mightily to happiness."), which I think isn't new, but is worth highlighting.

I'd like to add a comment: I think the trouble with money begins when you value yourself based upon your wealth. It is in this sense that I think money can't buy happiness. That is, it can't buy self-worth. It's important to remind ourselves that many different elements contribute to self-worth.

[Lynn C]

Here's a good manifesto, if you like them:

http://www.brepettis.com/blog/2009/3/3/the-cult-of-done-manifesto.html

[Duff]

I think one's happiness related to money has primarily to do with the meaning one assigns to the situation.

I recently experienced some very difficult financial situations, and feel happier *because* of them. The crises caused me to dig deep into my inner resources, surrender to what is not in my control, and realize that everything is going to be ok. It brought me closer to others whom I had to ask for help.

Financial independence can decrease happiness substantially because financial independence carries the presupposition "I don't need you." Since happiness is primarily found in close relationships with others, the more independent we are, the unhappier we can become (although this is not always the case of course).

Two major components left out of happiness research are cultural factors and religion/spirituality. As the great religious traditions tell us again and again, ultimate happiness is not found in any conditions whatsoever.

[adora]

There is a book named "Money Can Buy Happiness" on how to spend money to contribute to happiness. Most tips are obvious - invest in health and relationship, buy time, buy security, buy peace of mind... I think most people know what makes them happy and how to buy happiness, but it is hard in practice.

One argument I kept hearing about money and happiness is that spending money on experience contribute to greater return of happiness than materials. (and less clutter!)

I grew up with lots of men in my family. I notice that not only do men prefer spending money on materials, they are more likely to spend for the sake of one-upmanship. They are "happy" (obnoxious) for a short moment when they have a newer gadget than their peers, but sunk into despair when someone bought a newer more expensive gadget. This is obvious as well, but many fell into this trap.

[Alex @ Happiness In This World]

Great post. Really like the notion of the "atmosphere of growth." Studies have shown that it's pretty hard to be happy living in abject poverty but that having more than enough money to meet your basic needs doesn't in fact make you any happier. In fact, having a lot of money can easily make you more unhappy, as many lottery winners have attested. To attempt to build the foundation for happiness on anything external to oneself seems a strategy fraught with risk.

[Tracey]

I'm fascinated with this statement...

"People’s biggest worries include financial anxiety, health concerns, job insecurity, and having to do tiring and boring chores."

My first three are relatively stable right now (and yes, I'm very grateful), but I do find myself doing what seems like an excess of grumbling about those tiring and boring chores! I would have never consciously lumped them in with those other "important" worries. Were those fourth (or high up) in a big study, or more chosen from your own life? If there is a source for that, I'd love to see.

Either way, I think I need to elevate coming up with solutions to tiresome chores to a higher priority. Thanks.

[Peter Levin]

Totally agree,

If you don't have enough money and constantly worrying how to make a living, it is kind of difficult to think about a lot of other things and your mind occupied with "how to make a living" question.

Money can give freedom that will allow you to enjoy and design life the way you want it.

Thanks for great post

[Christopher]

One of the best posts in a long time and you just scratched the surface. In a year or two, if you are looking at a topic for the sequel to your forthcoming book...there you go.

[Catherine Cantieri, Sorted]

Not only can money give you the freedom to design your own life, it can also give you the chance to help others. Yeah, overall, I'm very pro-abundance. :-)

[Theo]

I agree with what you have said. Particularly in regards to "...and having to do tiring and boring chores." Interestingly my partner and I have two young kids and enjoy cooking at home. However we found having to slog through the dishes every night (When the kids are asleep), which ate up what little precious 'us' time we had, to be very disheartening.

We then purchased a dishwasher (Through a interest free scheme) and we were both amazed at how much extra time and little effort the dishes now take. This was definitely an example, to us, of how a little money went a long way to contributing to our happiness.

[Sarah]

Came across this quote today, and it made me think of your commandment to think about what feels good, feels bad, and feels right, in an atmosphere of growth:

"People fail forward to success."
-Mary Kay Ash, 1984

Failure, of course, feels bad, but it can still push us in a direction of growth (which feels good and right!).

[tinyhands]

I noticed the word "want" several times in this entry. I believe that controlling your "wants" will make you happier. Buddists call this 'letting go of attachments,' but they're usually so ethereal that nobody knows what the hell they're talking about.

It is possible to consciously control what you want and therefore be happy with what you have. Money cannot buy LASTING happiness. (Since again, those snooty Buddhists would talk about impermanence.)

[Lisa]

Wonderful post. I am thirty years old and only recently became financially self-sufficient. Throughout my twenties, I wanted to kill people who said, "There are more important things than money." Yes, of course there are, but it's obvious to me that if you are worried about how to eat this week you probably aren't going to be very happy. Getting a job that pays me a living wage and being able to save a little bit has increased my happiness exponentially.

[Marc Bragg]

I enjoyed the article about the value of money, and want to offer an alternative source of happiness... childrens' art.

Please invite your readers to a wonderful childrens' art site at http://ArtShowForKids.com where children from around the world are sharing their art, showing their art projects, and participating in ongoing childrens' art shows and kids art contests.

[kazari]

If you live below or near the poverty line, money can buy an awful lot of happiness. Think food security and stable housing situation.
However, after you've got your basic needs met and your future basic needs covered with some security, the benefit of additional money tapers off. A lot.

I've just cut my day job from 5 days a week to 4 (yay me!). So I can go back to university and do a Grad Dip they're titled "Professional Writing". This is providing me with the luxury of doing something I love for a WHOLE DAY every week. And goals and accountability and deadlines so i don't feel like I'm wasting my time : )

This all cost money in course fees and lost income. And I feel quite guilty and self indulgent, because it's all exclusively for my happiness.

And I'm only able to do it because I have earned the money and the good graces of my line manager.

[jan able]

Money buys Peace of Mind which is the foundation of happiness. Once one realizes that Peace of Mind can exist at all levels of wealth, money will not really matter. There are so many people running around looking for a drink of water while they are knee deep in it. Comforting themselves that it is the getting that is the prize. I have a house full of inherited things that were the main focus of enjoyment to those who bought them and who’s time was spent earning the money to buy them. But now their dead and gone and I am left to wonder does one really own anything but ones thoughts and feelings about what those things can bring them.
I can only wonder?

[jlitvlnvla]

Unfortunately today humans still have to rely a lot on having money to survive. Hopefully that won't always stay the same. But as it says in the bible 'it is harder for a rich man to get into heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle'. Basically having enough money to survive and spending lots of money helping others is a lot different than just being greedy and using money for oneself. Having lots of money can lead to many evil desires as has recently been demonstrated by Bernard Madoff. It is much better to have less money and more happiness than to spend the rest of ones life in jail because one had to great a desire for money. One can have many desires, and maybe it takes money to get some of them, but money and wealth should never be man's primary desire.

[HP van Duuren]

Talking about Money,

According to an interesting reports about the relationship between Money and Happyness - I recently read - it is suggested that with Happiness and Money, it actually happens to be the other way arround....,

That Happiness brings Money....,

Instead of Money causing Happiness.

Anyway,

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[Lexi]

Money certainly doesn't buy happiness, or there wouldn't be any miserable rich people. There are tons.

I think it's entirely about perception. If someone truly believes that they'll only be happy if they're rich, they'll waste the present time fantasizing about that day. Then it either never comes, and they blame their life's misery on it, or it does come, and they're scratching their heads because it's fixed nothing.

While not having enough money to pay bills/do basic things will surely dampen someone's happiness, I think from middle class and up, it's in people's heads.

There's no such thing as enough money or enough love or enough highs. They're insatiable goals. Better to try and be happy with what you have and work on goals to hang onto the happiness you already feel.

[Sara M]

My father always says that money can't buy happiness, but it can pay off a lot of unhappy! The things that contribute to real, lasting happiness; family, friends, meaning, etc might not be purchasable, but even if you have them, their hard to enjoy when your starving.

[Susan]

A recent comment by Jonny Depp has really stuck with me. He said `Money can`t buy happiness. But it can buy you a great big yacht to sale right up to it`.

Money buys security and freedom from all the stresses that not having money brings. The rest is up to you. A person can use the great good fortune of having money to do a lot of good in the world. That would certain contribute to my happiness.

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[The Happy Maker]

Money is a tool just like a hammer or a frying pan. If these tools are used correctly they are going to make you happier. If they are used incorrectly they will make you unhappy. What I am saying is that they have nothing to do with ones happiness. They can enhance happiness, but they are not the solution to happiness.

To truly know happiness one has to know how to enjoy the minute they are in and what is in that moment.

We need basics to live, which are air, food and water. Now if you were all alone, but had the basics you need to live and could have one more thing. Would it be money, roof over your head or another person.

Out of those 3 things what would you want that would help you be happier. I believe it would be another person.

If we have no one to share anything with we are never going to find happiness.

This is were people get confused, money is just a tool in this world. Tools just enhance happiness. Family, friends, children are where the real happiness lies. You take people out of your world and you have nothing.

After all Adam was made (if you are a believe),and he had everythings he needed to live. Then Eva was created so he had a partner. Someone to share his life with.

You can not share your life with money, so money does not make you happy. It is just an enchancing tool.