What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Perfectionism Can Be a Good Thing -- Sometimes.

OatmealI am so happy (and relieved)! Over the last few weeks, I’ve been working with my editor on the interior design for my book, The Happiness Project. It’s coming out in January, and this month is the time when design decisions are made: what kind of fonts should be used, what the Table of Contents and Title Page should look like, how quotations should be presented, etc.

This is a tough stage for me, as I know from my other books, because it marks the point at which the book becomes a collaboration. Sure, my editor and others gave suggestions about how to improve my writing, but up until now, I've had complete control of what the final version said.

At the design stage, however, other people get involved -- people who necessarily have a different vision, and different tastes, and who have to interpret what I’ve done. And we have to come to an agreement. In a limited amount of time. Without actually speaking to each other (that’s the rule in book publishing!).

The design people are very talented, phew, but I reacted to the first three versions like Goldilocks with her bowls of porridge. “This design is too organic and outdoorsy.” “This design is too wistful.” “This design is too world-peace-y.” But the fourth design was just right! So many flavors of happiness, so many ways of portraying it.

Sometimes, the happier course is to be satisfied with something that's good enough, even if it's not perfect; one of my Secrets of Adulthood is Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. But sometimes the happier course is to keep striving until you get it right.

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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