The Happiness Project: Loving-Kindness and the Less Exhilarating Elements of Goodness.

My book, THE HAPPINESS PROJECT, is a memoir of the year I spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happy--from Aristotle to Martin Seligman to Thoreau to Oprah. THE HAPPINESS PROJECT hit the shelves in December 2009 (Harper) and, happily, was a #1 New York Times bestseller. As one of the hundreds of happiness experiments I conducted during the research and writing of the book, I started this blog. Here, I recount my daily adventures in pursuit of happiness.

Book Tour

Philadelphia -- March 2, 2010
Joseph Fox Bookshop
Hyatt at The Bellevue 200 South Broad Street
7:00 pm
Austin, Texas – March 12, 2010
SXSW
Reading Stage
4:30 pm

Twelve Personal Commandments

Four Splendid Truths

What Started Me Thinking

"Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
“Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
“Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
Sartre: "Hell is other people."
Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Loving-Kindness and the Less Exhilarating Elements of Goodness.

“Loving-kindness is the better part of goodness. It lends grace to the sterner qualities of which this consists and makes it a little less difficult to practice those minor virtues of self-control and self-restraint, patience, discipline, and tolerance, which are the passive and not very exhilarating elements of goodness. Goodness is the only value that seems in this world of appearances to have any claim to be an end in itself. Virtue is its own reward. I am ashamed to have reached so commonplace a conclusion….I have gone a long way round to discover what everyone knew already.” -- W. Somerset Maugham

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If you haven't seen my one-minute movie, The Years Are Short, you might enjoy seeing that.

Posted May 25, 2009 in Quotation

Comments

Don't be ashamed Mr Maugham, you learned it and not everyone has. By the way Gretchen I'm still loving your blog! Thanks

Posted by: Heather | May 26, 2009 at 03:49 AM

Goodness is a form of love. Each is timeless.

Posted by: Liara Covert | May 26, 2009 at 08:24 AM

Such a great quote. I really enjoyed reading it. It can take some people a long time to learn this and some people never do. Thanks for sharing this with us!

Posted by: Positively Present | May 26, 2009 at 09:58 AM

The simplest statements hold the most profound truths.

Posted by: Era | May 26, 2009 at 10:06 AM

I agree with Era. Sometimes, though, we always forget these simple truths.

Posted by: Meream | May 26, 2009 at 11:43 AM

I saw your one minute movie. That was really cool. Thanks for sharing.

Posted by: Srinivas Rao | May 26, 2009 at 12:56 PM

Kindness is so underrated. I believe in it so much that I made a charm bracelet for myself that reminds me how vital it is. Add gratitude and forgiveness and you have my three daily character-building practices. They go a long way towards making me happy :)

Posted by: Sue Whelan | May 26, 2009 at 04:00 PM

Wow, I had a bad day today and your blog has truly moved me. I hope I can help someone through my blog too:
www.fedorazine.com
thank you!

Posted by: Fedora | May 27, 2009 at 12:55 PM

Loving kindness includes onesself! We think or even say such unkind things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. Be at least as patient with your own flaws and struggles as you would to a dear friend. I have a friend who is very hard on herself and I finally said, "I can't allow you to talk about my friend like that!!" She was startled, but realized it's true.

Posted by: Pat | June 03, 2009 at 03:02 PM

There’s no right way or wrong way – it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of time justifying why they should go ahead and indulge. http://www.watchgy.com/tag-heuer-c-24.html/

Posted by: rolex replica | December 23, 2009 at 07:52 AM

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Gretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.