Embrace a Milestone Moment – In My Case, No More Editing.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

I’m a big believer in using milestone moments as cues for evaluation, action, and reflection. Even though it’s a bit of a cliché, I’ve seen many examples -- including in my own life -- when people were prompted to make positive changes because they’d hit a milestone like a major birthday, marriage, the death of a parent, the birth of a child, loss of a job, or the accomplishment of a career marker like getting tenure or making partner (or not). For example, our wedding anniversary is our yearly Be Prepared Day.

Major milestones don’t happen very often; minor milestones are more frequent, but it’s easy to let them go almost unnoticed.

I’m trying to pay more attention to milestones – including one I just passed.

My book, The Happiness Project, is due out in January, and about ten minutes ago, I completed my work on the stage called “second pass pages” (why it’s called this, I have no idea). After this, NO MORE EDITS. This is it. When I send this stack of pages back to my editor, my book is out of my hands. We still have to decide the cover art, and the jacket copy, and a million other details, but my work on the book itself will be finished.

In my rush to go through the book this last time, and to take care of all my other daily duties, I almost didn’t appreciate this milestone. In fact, as a relentless editor of my work, I was more inclined to view this stage as the terrifying point at which I lost control.

But thanks to my resolution, I paused to give myself a moment to reflect. For better or worse, I’ve achieved the vision that I had that April morning, several years ago now, when I was riding on a bus as it passed through the intersection of 79th and Park and asked myself, “What do I want from life, anyway? I want to be happy. But I never think about what it means to be happy, or whether I am happy. I should have a happiness project!” I didn’t have the idea to write a book about my happiness project for a long time after that, of course. But I had an idea for what my happiness project should be, and in my book, I’ve explained as best I can how I’m doing it.

This is a happy moment! I’m just going to sit here and drink it in. I feel so grateful for everyone who has helped me, and I feel so lucky that I do for work exactly what I do for fun. I wonder what the last word of the book is? Ah, it’s “window.” I love my book!

Transitions of any kind can be a helpful prompt to a more thoughtful and grateful frame of mind. Have you had an experience when passing a milestone spurred you to greater reflection or action?

* I'm sure there's a study that explains why nothing makes you smile faster than watching babies smile, coo, and laugh (evolutionary reasons, right?). Check out this video on Gimundo of four laughing babies.

* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[Positively Present]

Great post! It's so important to recognize the mini-milestones in life and it sounds like you've just hit a great one. No more editing has got to feel GREAT. Recently I launched a new site (www.hopespringsinternal.com) that I'd been working on for awhile. It was a great little milestone for me and it's definitely pushing me in a direction that's really exciting for me. Tonight I plan to celebrate this mini-milestone and I thank you for reminding me how important these are!

[Samantha]

Hi Gretchen,

I've been reading and loving the site for over a year now, and it seems nerdy that this is my first comment, but I'm an editrix and I thought I'd take a stab at answering your question:

Pages = designed pages rather than manuscript (Word doc) pages ("proofs" sometimes too)
Second pass = the second time you're passing through the book

So happy for you and eager to see the book in January. Congratulations!

[Sarah]

Oo! :) I know this one - Second Pass Pages: Every time an editor looks at a corrected version of typeset book pages, it is considered one proof cycle, or one "pass" at reviewing the pages. So, if you're in "second pass pages," it means the editor (and you!) has seen first proofs and made changes to them, and now looks at second proofs to check that the original changes were made and to make more changes, if necessary. After your second-pass changes are made, the editor will get a third pass at the pages (and however many more passes are needed) to ensure all edits were made and page content is up to date.

Also, thanks for the reminder to celebrate mile stones - I have one that needs some appreciation. And "Be Prepared Day" is an excellent idea, as well!

[Gretchen Rubin]

SO satisfying to know what "second pass pages" means. Thanks for the explanations! Now my milestone is even more gratifying.

[Kim]

Congratulations on your milestone! It's happy for me, too, because I'm looking forward to the book.

[LarryG]

Enjoy the wow time! that's awesome! way to go!
I think I could cheerlead this with no problem :)

[Kristin]

This makes me so happy! I'm thrilled your journey has brought you to this awesome milestone. I'm so excited to read the book! <3

[Roger]

Congratulations on your milestone! I just think that the fact your going to have a book published is amazing.

[Melanie]

Congratulations! My book is heading to 1st pages in about a month (I still have to rewrite the intro one...more...time....) and I long to be where you are, though I agree the total letting go is scary. Good for you for taking the time to appreciate it.

[Margretha]

Congratulations!

[Vi]

Congrats! I've very happy for you in recognizing and passing this milestone. Yay!

[Christopher]

Yay for you and congrats! Sometimes we get caught up in the rat race, we forget to celebrate those small milestones - good for you.

[Era]

Well, we've definitely hit a milestone. My husband's office has been closed and we must relocate. We've thought about moving for years but just were not willing to take the risk and make the hard decisions. Now we have no choice. So we're off to make the best of it!

[Vanessa]

Great post, Gretchen! I'm looking forward to reading your book. I'm trying to recall a recent mini-milestone in my life, but I'm drawing a blank. I think I tend to call them "Big 1st"--First press trip, first talk with an agent, first train ride with the kids, etc. These events excite me, but I don't take much time to reflect. Maybe I should though.

[Heather]

As an editor I think you're pretty lucky your editor even let you *see* 2nd pass pp. :-) And I'm happy for your milestone. Always a big one for the in-house editor too.

[Laura Cococcia]

Congratulations, Gretchen, on "no more editing!" I love your comment regarding milestones - it made me think about how we can make these moments relevant and useful rather than just marks in time.

[MHM]

Congratulations on your milestone Gretchen!

I found your blog as I was trying to give a meaning to my next big milestone - I will be 40 next month!

Your work is exactly what I was looking for and the fact that I found so many people thinking on the same lines is such a great boost. Your blog makes me really "Happy".

Thanks!

[bridget]

Congratulations!!! :)

[Christine]

Congratulations!!

[Abigail Carter]

I had a similar feeling when finishing my book. A sort of, huh! I guess its out of my hands now. I had no idea how to celebrate, other than, as you say, to take a moment and take in all that I had accomplished, and what it took to accomplish it.
I had similar milestones, when I got the first book off the press, and the first time I saw it in a bookstore. The hardest thing I had to deal with each time was HOW to celebrate. I kept saying to myself "I should open a bottle of champagne or something," but those moments always seemed to happen at 10am on a Monday, not a time when one is in the mood for champagne. Hiho.
Congrats on your big milestone. Of all of the ones I encountered on the road to publication, finishing the edits was the most poignant.

[LPC]

Congratulations.

[J.S. Brooks]

Congratulations on your wonderful milestone. That's one for you and your editor both to enjoy. Looking forward to the book.
This week my wife and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and that has been a wonderful milestone to savor that made us both happy, particularly tonight at a wonderful restaurant.

[Katie]

Congrats on finishing your edits! So exciting!

[Angela]

Congratulations, Gretchen. All of us are looking forward to being able to read your work.

[LeanRainMakingMachine]

Dear Gretchen:
Congratulations!! A great milestone...
I believe the advice to celebrate milestones is especially important for driven people --people like Yalies who clerk on the Supreme Court. Driven people tend always to look to the future --that which has yet to, but must, be achieved. Thus, the extraordinary successes along the way are lost --perhaps forever. When one looks around America, much less the world, it's a grand achievement to graduate high school. It's a huge achievement to get into, much less out of college. To achieve honors or get into a graduate school is a towering achievement beyond most people. To excel at graduate school is a goal reached by very few and admired by very many. To be Law Review, etc. is a very big deal. Just getting a job at Cravath, or a clerkship, is huge. Being in a position to be consideerd for partner, or tenure, is astounding. Having even one person who loves us is a joy few ever have--America and the world is littered with broken families, abandoned children, abused spouses, etc. To have a single day without alcohol if that's your goal and struggle, is a miracle. To have a single good friend is a gift few ever get....To lose five pounds is grand, no matter where you start; walking a mile may be a victory for many. A kiss from a wife, a hug from a husband, are all milestones worth celebrating. Getting to Paris is the dream of many; learning to scuba is a goal few achieve; dinner out is a luxury many people will never experience, much less with fine linen and a nice wine. Visiting DC is a dream for many; being inside the SCOTUS is a privilege very few will ever have.
Seeing the beauty of Central Park is a talent that escapes many, especially those visually handicapped. A day without diabetes is a joy, albeit a subtle one; the ability to walk stairs is a fond memory for many, as is the good health of a child now ill..
So many milesones, so little time.....

[HP van Duuren]

Yes, although sometimes progress doesn't seem to be that impressive, when you look at all the little Milestones together all those little successes do add up. Than when you look back you sometimes can be impressed!

In my sydicated column titled: 'Happy Vibe' I once wrote about it in my column titled: 'Success Waves' you can find it at:

http://www.ideamarketers.com/?articleid=156532&CFID=22932360&CFTOKEN=1564289

All the Best,
To your Happy Inspiration,
HP

[Veronica]

Gretchen -

Your post on milestones comes at a very relevant time in my personal life, so I'm grateful to be reminded of not letting it pass me by unnoticed.

This past Thursday was the finalization of my divorce to my husband of almost 4 years and partner of almost 10. We met in highschool and shared a wonderful life together until my world was essentially shattered when he experienced a quarter-life crisis and felt he needed room to explore his sexuality.

I've known the marriage was over for some time now, but to actually go through the legal process and be there in court to officially declare the union over was a significant milestone for me. As a friend put it, I am officially done with all things (non-emotional) relating to divorce, but officially starting a new chapter in discovering myself.

It's intimidating, exhilarating, terrifying, and bittersweet. It's a milestone - and in this milestone I choose to make the best I possibly can of it. I choose to use it to fuel my desires and wishes. I choose to let the day help me shed some of the final pieces of my old skin and reveal the emerging me.

So, again, thank you for the post.

Veronica

Moment-to-Moment Optimism with Dr. Russ Buss

[Sylvia Rollins]

Would you please ask your friend exactly how she gives her change jar funds to her church? I have always wanted to do that but afraid that if I gave them a paper bag full of pennies in the collection plate that I would just annoy the ushers? Does she first take it to Coinstar or what? One way I give is $10 at a time each pay day directly to a friend who lives in Honduras and teaches English and builds schools. It goes so much farther down there and cuts out the middle man level of organizational expenses. Wouldn't work for everyone but I trust her to make the best use of it and makes me feel really good to give in that way.