Happiness: Paddling a Canoe, Not Biting the Hook.

From time to time, I post short interviews with interesting people about their insights on happiness. During my research, I’ve noticed that I often learn more from one person’s highly idiosyncratic experiences than I do from sources that detail universal principles or cite up-to-date studies.

One of the most consistently fascinating and provocative writers – online and in print – is Seth Godin. I love his blog, Seth Godin’s Blog, and I’ve read several of his many books. Seth’s field is marketing, but marketing understood very broadly – he often discusses subjects like authenticity, communication, community, entrepreneurship, fulfillment, the future of media, and happiness.

He’s written many interesting books – my personal favorites are Tribes and Permission Marketing.

Because I’m such a fan of his thinking, I was very intrigued to hear what Seth Godin had to say on the subject of happiness.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Seth: I honestly believe that external events are a poor predictor (or causer) of happiness. There are certainly things I can do to prompt some short-term happiness, but in general, it's a decision more than an act. For example, every time (every time!) that I go to visit Acumen Fund and my friend Jacqueline Novogratz, I leave happier than I came in.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?
Don't try so hard.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
I used to be able to make myself unhappy by reading anonymous criticism of my work online. No middle ground to the attacks, no way to respond, no happiness. So I stopped.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve find very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself to “Be Gretchen.”) Or a particular book that has stayed with you?
I think Pema Chodron's suggestion, "Don't bite the hook," is a really easy way to avoid the dead ends that can so easily get me caught up. One of the easiest mantras I have is flashing back to paddling a wooden and canvas canoe, solo, across Teepee Lake in Algonquin Park. The sun is setting, the water is calm and there's a loon on one side of my boat and a beaver on the other. That works every time.

As for books, the work of Zig Ziglar, Pema Chodron and Ben Zander never fail to work.

If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?
I write. I ride my bicycle or strap on my cross-country skis. Forward motion, no wallowing.

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?
I think it's possible to eat your way unhappy. I also believe that whining and complaining never (not once) increases someone's happiness level. On the other hand, sending someone a thank-you note or a small present benefits you far more than it does the recipient.

Have you always felt about the same level of happiness, or have you been through a period when you felt exceptionally happy or unhappy – if so, why? If you were unhappy, how did you become happier?
I spent some unhappy years in my early 20s, and again when my mom died. On the other hand, I've been insanely, positively happy almost every single day for the last thirty years, mostly because I just decided I liked things better that way.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
"Working" is not as good a word as "choosing.” I don't think happiness is a project as much as it is a habit. [I would suggest: For many people, it takes a project to build a habit!]

Have you ever been surprised that something you expected would make you very happy, didn’t – or vice versa?
Finishing projects almost never makes me happy. It creates a void. I don't much like milestones either. Any event where you're supposed to be a happy is a challenge!

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Comments

[Keetha]

Great interview! He is an amazing guy and I was happy to see him here.

[Amber]

I appreciated this interview. Seth Godin has a great spirit that shines through in his work. The part about not biting the hook isn't sitting right with me, but I definitely like the part about choosing to be happy, rather than working towards some goal.

Also, the forced happiness at certain events part reminded me of everyone staring at me as I opened my Christmas/birthday presents. I DO like presents, but I'm rather reserved, so I did not appreciate the attention and they did not appreciate my lack of squealing.

[Positively Present]

This was a great interview. I love what Seth said about choosing to be happy for the past thirty years. Happiness really is a choice. It's not always an easy one, but it's a great choice to make if you can. I loved learning more about Seth so thanks for sharing this interview with us!

[Eileen]

That's a fantastic interview. Gotta love Seth Godin!

[Kate Cherry]

I'm a little skeptical about "choosing" to be happy. If it was a simple choice, wouldn't we all choose it?

[Muzie]

@Kate:

Yet most of us know what it takes to eat healthy, not smoke, etc. yet many don't do it. We all routinely and knowingly do things that aren't good for ourselves, even when we know better.

I would agree with Seth that choosing matters. There is some amount of effort required though, and I think it goes beyond just choosing. But choosing is the first step.

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[Matt @ Rational Imperative]

Godin's idea about "choosing" to be happy is perhaps one of the greatest nuggets I have seen in a while. If external circumstances mandate your mood, you will never be consistently happy! This is something we are definitely trying to impress on our blog, and it's great to see that there are others out there who feel the same.

[Rena]

Great interview. Seth is a very inspirational person. What really hits home is that happiness is a choice. I know a lot of people who like to wallow in self pity and despair. That is their choice. I choose to be happy, therefore I am happy. It's like the old saying - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I have a real hankering for lemonade right now :-). Thanks!

[Dee Thompson]

I like everything he says. I really feel having a strong faith in God makes someone better able to let go of worries and be happy. I just got laid off from my job, but I trust God has better things in mind for me, and that's how I've maintained my positive mood.

[Laura Cococcia]

Love this post and am also a huge Godin fan. I would also recommend most of Pema Chodron's books - and I like Godin's advice about milestones! Maybe I'll start eliminating them and see what happens (just go with the flow) :) Thanks Gretchen!

[Susie @ Momscape]

Good interview! "No wallowing" is such a great example of a choice we can make that leads to happiness. That really works for me: to distract myself when I want to wallow in negative thoughts. And I find that being out in nature, moving forward whether on my feet or a bike or whatever, works the best. By the time I'm home again, my mindset is back to being more positive. It works for my kids, too.

[ettagirl]

Based on Seth's happiness mantra - canoe, Algonquin, loons, beavers - I'm adopting him as an honorary Canadian. Thanks Seth for such a quintessentially Canadian shout-out just in time for Canada Day!

[Mark W.]

Love the purple cow milk carton above. Ditto on Algonquin and the loons as I was there also many years ago ... missed the beavers though.

[Jon P]

Thanks for that, Gretchen (and Seth). I like his approach—simple and not overly intellectual. Happiness as a choice, and doing, not wallowing are two great simple concepts. Just being in nature totally does it for me. It seems to absorb all the anxiety from everyday life. So I also relate to the canoe on the lake visualization.

[Doug Erickson]

Really good interview, because you asked questions of Seth that most people don't. I'm a huge fan and have been since Permission Marketing came out in 1999. If you have a chance to see Seth speak, no matter what the theme of the conference, go! I've been to three of his presentations, at three totally different forums, and he's worth whatever it costs. He won't waste your time.