Happiness: Taking Tourist Photos of My Own Romance.

On Saturday, I took the train up to New Haven for my college reunion. I went to Yale both for college and law school, so returning there is always a very intense experience. Mostly pleasant.

Even though I spent most of the day in undergrad nostalgia mode, I also took an hour to walk through the law school. (I also considered visiting the sole copy of J. M. Barrie’s The Boy Castaways of Black Lake Island, at its home in the Beinecke Library, but I ran out of time.)

A few weeks ago, I posted one of my all-time favorite posts: about how seeing the movie Twilight had reminded me of the time when my husband and I were falling in love, and had inspired me to do a better job with some of my resolutions.

Many of my resolutions are aimed at helping me keep happy memories vivid (e.g., Be a treasure house of happy memories) and also at helping me stay tender and romantic. As a way to keep both sets of resolutions, I decided to take photos of some of the most important sites in our falling-in-love story:
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We met because our carrels were back-to-back in the law library. This is the carrel I used.

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Here’s the staircase where we ran into each other that time.

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This is the Anchor Bar. A big group went there one night, and on the way out, he casually asked if I wanted to have breakfast at the Copper Kitchen diner the next morning, before our Corporations class. I didn’t sleep all night.

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Here’s the Copper Kitchen.

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Here’s the picnic table where he was sitting with a bunch of people when I came down from my dorm room to announce that I’d broken up with my boyfriend.

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Here’s the bench where we held hands for the first time.

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I'm so glad I took these pictures. Everything changes, and one day the Copper Kitchen and the picnic bench and even that marble staircase will be gone, but now I have my record.

I'm reminded of a postcard I kept above my desk during college, of a work by Duane Michals: This photograph is my proof. The photograph shows a couple sitting cozily on a bed, and underneath is written, "This photograph is my proof. There was that afternoon when things were still good between us, and she embraced me. And we were so happy. It did happen. She did love me. Look, see for yourself!"

Ah, I have my photograph and my proof.

* The always interesting Marci Alboher sent me the link to a great post, Can Cooking Make You Happier? at My Kitchen Nutrition. It reminds me that everyone's happiness project is different. Cooking isn't a source of happiness for me, but it is for a lot of other people.

* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Comments

[Katie]

Oh, these are adorable - so sweet! You'll be so glad you have them for many years to come.

I'm inspired to take a few of my own photos!

[The Healthy Librarian]

Wonderful! Here's to romances that got started in college libraries.

Which is exactly where my husband & I also met.

Back in 1970-71 my husband took a slew of movies on campus on an old 8mm movie camera. He secretly edited many of them into a marriage proposal movie.

It was a complete surprise--and I saw it right after we had seen the original, "Love Story".

Not having an 8mm projector we never got to see it again until a few years ago when he had it transferred into a videocassette--another almost extinct medium.

Thinks for jogging my memory about revisiting happy memories.

I'd completely forgotten about that old video until I read your post.

I'm going to watch it tonight! I can't wait.

http://www.happyhealtylonglife.com

[Vi]

Hi Gretchen,
Thank you so much for sharing. The pictures are lovely, and the stories that go along with them very cute. You're an inspiration.

[Emily]

Thank you for this post! My husband and I are planning a visit to our college town this summer. Now I will be sure to document the places that were important to our courtship. Some of them are probably long gone, but we'll do our best. It will be fun to do it, and to look back in the years to come.

[Recipes for Creativity]

How wonderful! I, too, love looking at pictures of the past, I think it's so wonderful to reminisce! Love the idea of being a treasure house to happy memories!

[Pat Meiser]

What a great idea! My husband and I met in grad school - we have lots of campus pictures but none so personal as the ones you just took. We reminisce often about certain places, many of which I am sure are now gone. If we ever get back there...

[Ella]

I love that! I am going to have to run around lower Manhattan at some point this summer with a camera to do the same. (Improbably, the restaurant that was the site of our first date is still open today, eleven years later, but who knows how long that will be true?) My girls will love it someday.

[Positively Present]

Love the pictures! What a great idea for keeping the memories alive.

[marie]

This post made me a little teary-eyed. Awww.

[Christopher]

Awww. I love stuff like that and it's so sweet of you to share it with us!

[Liz Stanley]

Gretchen,
This is a beautiful post, made even better by the fact that I have spent a decent amount of time at The Anchor and the Copper Kitchen myself, as a former "townie"
Thanks for helping me remember some good times!

[Era]

It's wonderful to have pictures to accompany fond memories. Trips down memory lane sometimes make me happy, but cooking - not as much.

[Cindy L]

This is lovely -- great photos -- and I agree that it's important to chronicle and preserve our happiest memories in some way.

When my son was in grade school several years ago, I left an office job and began freelance writing from home. From the time my son was nine, and right through his senior year of high school, I wrote a weekly personal column for my local daily newspaper.

Many of those columns chronicled my early years of motherhood and reflections on my son's childhood. Gathered together, those piece became a family album of sorts. Today, my son and his friends are in their twenties, and they tell me they reread those columns (they are published in a collection) whenever they feel homesick. I'm grateful for having written them.

[Heather]

I love that idea! Thought about doing the same thing, although your college campus encounters seem more picturesque than the locations of the first few encounters with my hubby--a Denney's, a Marriott Hotel ballroom, and a ticket office. Still good memories though!

[Veronica]

This idea is so thoughtful... Not only can something like this help illustrate a beautiful love story, but it can also be relevant for our children or our friends or family. Photos of the first place you went camping with your children, or where they got their haircut the first time, or the sidewalk of the house they were brought home to. True, you could take pictures during these events, but to go back and revisit and tap into the energy and emotion of the place is a very powerful act. For adults, I can see where it can engage a sense of happiness and positive memories. For children, it could encourage positive feelings and a sense of connection. Through these connections, a deeper sense of self and having a real experience of feeling loved.

For those of us who have been through a divorce, photos like these could potentially serve as a double-edged sword. On one hand, you have the proof "when things were still good between us" and a love that existed. And on the other, a painful reminder of that love gone wrong. But with patience, time, and understanding of oneself, photos of this nature could help to instill an optimism in the future - to know that that feeling can exist again, just with different memories in different locations.

Thank you for the great idea!

[Meream]

Aww this made me almost cry.
Did you show the photos to your husband? What did he say?

[Jayne]

Aaawww. That's lovely.

I'm heading off on a little trip down memory lane myself next month - to re-visit the places where I grew up and went to school. I will have camera in hand.

[Hannah]

Thank you for sharing both the story and the pictures. They are lovely and inspiring.

I'm much more nostalgic than my husband, but I think we'd both enjoy this type of journey back in time if we ever re-visit the city where we met.

[pkzcass]

This is a wonderful idea! At a time in my marriage where we're busy with kids and careers and everything in between, I need to be reminded why my husband and I feel in love in the first place. This is definitely something I want to do for both of us.

I love your blog; you're full of terrific ideas.

[Jessica]

This post made me almost cry as well! I am inspired to take my own photos of where my husband I met and where our love story took us. Thank you!

[Jackie Danicki]

This post made me cry! Thank you.

[rental granada dave]

I was entranced when I was reading this post, Gretchen. How romantic. I have photographs in my mind (memories) but they do fade.
Now, I am inspired to take my own photgraphs.
Thank you for that.

[buy rs money]

i hope you can be happy every day,god bless you.

[Aman Chaudhary]

This is awesome! Even though I have lots of photographs from Yale, it never occurred to me to take photographs now in this context

For instance, it occurs to me that I have such great memories of taking the Metro North back and forth to Manhattan, but have no pictures of the Metro North itself.

A friend of mine was just there in May for her reunion and texted me about the apartment (I think on High Street) where we lived one summer. Haven't thought of that in ages, but it gave me such a wave of nostalgia. I'll have to take a picture of that building when I'm there for my own reunion next summer!

Thanks for this post!

[Apparently Bitterness Will Be In The DSM-V]

Also, gives you something irrevocable to shred if needed--very therapeutic.

[Wrought Iron Furniture]

Thanks for the photos and post, I really enjoyed it!

[Jen]

What a great idea! I lost my husband last year, after just 5 years of marriage, and now I'm motivated to revisit our favorite places (mostly restaurants, it turns out) and take pictures of them to include in a memory book I'm working on. Thank you so much.

[Don]

Hi Gretchen,

Thanks so much for posting. I am always inspired by your posts.

Don