What Started Me Thinking

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Running, Conversation, Commitment, and a Blue Sweater.

Jacqueline-novogratzFrom time to time, I post short interviews with interesting people about their insights on happiness. During my research, I’ve noticed that I often learn more from one person’s highly idiosyncratic experiences than I do from sources that detail universal principles or cite up-to-date studies.

I was very happy to get the chance to meet Jacqueline Novogratz, the founder/CEO of the Acumen Fund, a non-profit venture fund that uses philanthropic capital to build businesses that serve the poor in the developing world. It’s a very interesting strategy for making a difference in the world – “Patient Capital,” which means -- rather than giving money to worthy causes or focusing on markets only -- strategically investing in building enterprises (e.g., providing water, housing, energy) that make poor people's lives better. So far, Acumen has invested about $40 million in forty enterprises in South Asia and East Africa, which has meant more than 25,000 jobs and services delivered to tens of millions low-income people.

She recently wrote a terrific book, The Blue Sweater, that tells the story of how she left banking to start work as a “social investor.”

The Second Splendid Truth holds that:
One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy;
One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

Jacqueline struck me as a very happy person – and partly, she says, that happiness comes from knowing that she’s doing work that is meant to boost other people’s happiness, by giving them lives of greater health, security, and opportunity.

I was very interested to hear more of her thoughts about happiness.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Jacqueline: I love to run in the early mornings, especially with a friend or sibling. I love watching places wake up. I love experiencing nature (even a small part when I’m in the city). I love starting the day with stories and laughter. I love sitting on the floor with women in low-income communities and listening to their stories.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?
That life is never perfect, and that it is often in its imperfection that we discover life’s greatest beauty.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve find very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself to “Be Gretchen.”)
Commit to something bigger than yourself. For commitment will set you free.

If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?
Running, of course, or a long conversation with a good friend or family member.

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?
People who live in the future rather than the present often seem to find happiness elusive. I remember a story my mother told me about being a young mother visiting my father who was on a furlough from Viet Nam in Hawaii. She met four older women who were sitting around a table by the pool, sipping cocktails. The women had each made big plans with their husbands to go on Hawaiian vacations “when they retired.” All of the husbands had died before the vacations were taken and so the four women decided to go together anyway, though all regretted having put their dreams off to a day that never happened.

At Acumen, I’m often approached by young people who want to express dissatisfaction in their careers and dream of changing the world. At the same time, they feel they can’t do it until they’ve “repaid their debt, earned enough money to have real freedom, gained all the skills they need.” People, of course, can’t make change until they are ready to do so. But the happiest people on earth are following their true passions, and that always entails taking risks, being uncomfortable and making sacrifices. And those risks and sacrifices only become more difficult as we get older….

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
I work on being all I can be and surrounding myself with people who also feel that way, who want to live out loud and give back somehow to the world; and that makes me happy.

*
How fabulous! I just discovered Future Me, a site that allows you to send an email to yourself in the future. One of my favorite ways of making decisions is to think about what, in five years, I'll have wished that I'd done. One fascinating feature of the site is the ability to eavesdrop on what other people have emailed to themselves -- and that reminds me of the fabulous site...Wait! Can't say until tomorrow. Stay tuned.

*
Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.


Comments

Great interview. Jacqueline sounds like an amazing person and I'm definitely going to pick up a copy of her book ASAP. Thanks for writing about her. And I'm off to check out the Future Me site now. Sounds so interesting!

Thank you so much for the link to FutureMe. I'm bowled over by the concept -- I love it! I'm happily composing a letter to my 30-year-old self. I love time-capsule-type-things. Going back through my old Livejournal entries has a similar effect, but actually addressing something to my future self sounds even more wonderful!

Great interview..."for commitment will set you free..." I love that.

Thanks for sharing the interview. Ms. Novogratz's reflection on surrounding herself with people who strive to "give back somehow to the world" really resonates. That's why I want to get up in the morning and come to work. Don't want to lose sight of the big picture. Thanks again.

An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused.

"I’m often approached by young people who want to express dissatisfaction in their careers and dream of changing the world. At the same time, they feel they can’t do it until they’ve “repaid their debt, earned enough money to have real freedom, gained all the skills they need.” People, of course, can’t make change until they are ready to do so."
I am a 25 year old PhD student, never been out of school, and this concept of dissatisfaction until I've repaid debt and earned enough money to have real freedom is something I think about everyday. I have seen on another one of your interviews Gretchen with someone (couldn't say who sorry!) that the only lengthy amount of time the interviewee had been unhappy is when they were finishing something (project, study, whatever) and waiting for life to start. It is an interesting concept and a daily challenge for myself to find happiness TODAY rather than looking a year in the future when I finish my PhD where I see myself being "happier".

Jacqueline's insight and work are inspiring. I firmly believe that finding one's passion and strengths and then using them for a higher purpose results in greater joy and deep and reall satisfaction. Jacqueline "gets" the bigger picture. Becoming the best that we can be and sharing that is a gift both to ourselves and others. As always Gretchen, a great post!

I think Amelia is remembering something Kevin Roose said in his interview:
http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2009/04/secrets-to-happiness-prayer-and-wii-mario-kart.html

The challenge of considering happiness today and happiness tomorrow is so fascinating. Dan Gilbert's book, STUMBLING ON HAPPINESS, is all about the issue of "affective forecasting."

As always, mindfully reflecting about how you're thinking about today/tomorrow is a big step toward doing a better job of doing it.

Jacqueline's comment on young people 'expressing dissatisfaction' strikes a chord with me. I consider myself one of those young people and struggle with the logistics of now. I appreciate her advice and insight - very helpful interview.

Veronica
Moment-to-Moment Optimism
www.drrussbuss.com

Thanks Gretchen, for this interview.

Jacqueline's book is amazing -- her story is by far the most inspiring memoir/call to action I have read in 2009.

Patient capital is the junk bond of a new era -- it will truly change the financial world, and Jacqueline is leading the way.

Erm....'sitting on the floor with women from low-income communities and listening to their stories' as a way of improving YOUR happiness is, um, royally patronising.

Life is just a series of trying to make up your mind.

You're right, Bolly, it is extremely patronizing. I can't quite believe that nobody else has picked up on this! Gretchen?

I disagree... whilst it came across as initially patronising..actualising its what it is.. becos I too would be inspired by women like that ..knowing full well, that if they can manage, find joy in life, then so can I, so can you .. look to truth of matter about what she meant (lets not forget that what Patient Capital actally does)..and less of the 'words'..

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.


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