Happiness Lesson from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

This Friday’s resolution: Cultivate friends of different ages.

I’ve read so much happiness research that now I often remember some fact or study without being able to figure out where I read it.

I’m pretty sure that I read about a study that showed that people who have friends of different ages tend to be happier than people who have friends of the same age, but I can’t find the cite. So I will just say from the authority of my own experience: it boosts happiness to have friends of different ages.

Take Tuesday night, midnight. I went to the very first U.S. showing of the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

I’m a huge raving Harry Potter fan, but I also have two little kids, and I don’t often spend an evening in a way that keeps me out until 4:00 a.m. Most of my friends are about my age, in fairly similar circumstances in how they conduct their lives, and they keep the same schedule.

But I have some younger, child-free, zestful friends, who think that going to a midnight show is fun, that getting in line at the movie theater at 6:30 p.m. is fun, that eating a picnic dinner in the theater lobby while you’re waiting for a midnight movie is fun. And it is fun!

Making time for fun makes people happier. Adrian Gostick’s very interesting book, The Levity Effect, reviews research that shows that regularly having fun is a key factor in having a happy life; people who have fun are twenty times more likely to feel happy.

Also, people who have novel experiences are happier than those who stay in a routine. If my friends hadn’t planned the outing to the midnight showing, I never would have gone on my own. Having younger friends, who have fun in different ways from me, gave me a great night.

Same thing with older friends. People of different ages have different experiences, different schedules, different bases of knowledge, and different tastes. By having friends of different ages, you broaden the range of your life.

Of course, you can’t just announce, “Now I’m going to make friends of different ages” and make some. Friendship doesn’t work like that. (Here are some tips for making friends.) But it’s something to think about, as you make time for friendship in your day; remember not to let your circle gradually narrow down until you only see people who are in step with you – even though it’s usually most convenient to spend time with those people, because at the very least, you share the same bedtime.

Have you found that having friends of different ages – or different in other ways, as well, not just in age – has boosted your happiness?

* Speaking of fun, for little fun, here's a video of -- well, of someone doing hand tricks. It's more fun than it sounds.

* If you’re interested in doing your own happiness project, check out the Happiness Project Toolbox.

Comments

[ElizMcK]

I really appreciate this post. I've always had friends of different ages, different ethnicities, backgrounds, careers and countries. Life seems much more varied and layered with such interesting friends. I cannot say I have actually sought this out, but reflecting now I think I've always had interests in sociology, geography and history, so these friendships are perhaps satisfying because they fulfill not only a need for social interaction/friendship, but other qualities that make me happy.

[Di]

We lived in another country for a few years and the only people who were friendly at first were much older (boomers) because the people our age were very busy with young families. We had a lot of fun with these people, probably more than the people who could only talk about their children at a time when we couldn't imagine having any. Some of them are now friends for life.

[Katie @ cakes, tea and dreams]

I belong to a group of women that meets for coffee every Tuesday - we range in age from early 20s to mid-50s. And I totally agree with this - our diversity (in age and other ways) is such a huge blessing.

[Positively Present]

Excellent resolution! This is definitely something I need to work on more and I'm glad you brought it up here. I really believe that having all kinds of friends is a great thing -- no matter what age they are -- and I plan on expanding my horizons in the friendship department

[Gladys]

A few years ago, my friends were about my age and had kids about the age of my son. They were - and are - great friends, but since I'm divorced, I found they were busy doing family things on weekends when my son was at his dad's. I realized I needed single friends as well, and ended up making friends with several people who are quite a bit older than I am. We have so much in common that we never run out of things to talk about, and they can also bring a different perspective to many subjects - especially parenting. It has been a real blessing!

[Jodi at Joy Discovered]

Hi Gretchen, Your night out for Harry Potter sounds like a lot of fun! I'm a total believer in having friends of different ages--though it never occurred to me that their different ages is what makes my certain friends so special. (That's why YOU are the published author!)Great resolution!

[holiday]

I can see that you are an expert at your field! I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success in your business. Please come visit my site Motelhotel Business Directory when you got time.

[Etsuko - My Peaceful Family]

Gretchen,

I haven't visited your site for a while (and I have never commented) but you sent me a list for resolution a while ago. I actually used your idea last year on my birthday, and I wrote about the experience ('one year later') as I just had my birthday this week. As I was writing, trying to link it to you and this web-site, I visited your site again and saw Harry Potter, so I had to read it! I don't know why I haven't kept up reading your blog, but from now on I will :-) Anyway, how did you like the movie? I'm a huge fan and am really looking forward to going to see it!

Etsuko

[Maryann]

I remember years ago, when I seemed to be trying to avoid becoming all-out friends with some older people who appealed to me, I had a conscious realization: with all the wonderful people in the world, why would I limit myself to friendships only with people around my age? Since then I have not hesitated to hang out with people of whatever age who appeal to me. A lot of my friends are older than me; being both single with no children, and also having much older siblings who are approaching retirement, I find I am very comfortable and more socially in-sync with people whose children are out of the house. Whether older or younger, people of all ages have so many things to offer us from their varied perspectives!

[Meream]

Oh, I lack this in my life. I only spend time with people in their 20's. I don't even have friends who are over 35...

[Valerie Heck]

I've always had friends of all ages. It makes it easier for me to approach people and strike up a conversation. Everyone has something to offer.

[trauringe]

what a great blog. Greeting from Germana

[susanna]

Hey there, I just found you after searching online for advice. Thank you for your help!

Since my late twenties, I've always had slightly younger and older friends but it seems that ever since I started blogging, the differences in ages between my friends has blurred, if not disappeared entirely. That's one of the best things about blogging, isn't it? We see each other through our words and images rather than the lines on our faces.

Btw, I'm a huge HP fan, too.

[Marianna Paulson]

Having friends of different ages, backgrounds and ethnicities enriches my life and expands my world. Otherwise, it would be like watching the same movie over and over and over.

Stress can prevent people from jumping into and exploring new friendships and activities because of the fear surrounding the unknown. Learning to stop the flow of chemical changes opens the door to a world of possibilities.

[Alex Fayle]

My grandparents were all the same age (all born between 1900 and 1904) and yet my father's parents always seemed much older. My mother puts it down to who they had as friends. My mother's parents had friends of all ages and always had. My father's parents only had friends their own age and as the generation started dying, they got more and more isolated from the world.

So, having friends of different ages doesn't just make you happier - it keeps you younger and connected to the world too!

[Grand Rapids Michigan]

I enjoyed reading your work! GREAT post! I looked around for this… but I found you! Anyway, would you mind if I threw up a backlink from my site? Please come visit my site Grand Rapids Michigan Business Directory when you got time.

[Huntington Beach California]

As a Newbie, I am always searching online for information that can help me. Thank you. Please come visit my site Huntington Beach California Business Directory when you got time.

[Building Contractor Resources, Home Builder]

Congratulations, you just earned yourself an entry in my feed reader, great blog. Please come visit my site Realtor Home Builders Directory when you got time.

[Ellen Prewett]

How to turn a bad day into a good bad day - most of my bad days are work related - in fact, I think all of my bad days are work related. My home is my sanctuary - both my husband and I feel the same way about that. It's where we both end up at the end of some long and intense days at our respective jobs. I come in later than he does - and I often come in to find some warm brownies or freshly baked cookies - gestures of love from my chocoholic husband. On my days off I will try to have a pot of homemade soup ready when he comes in. But one of the biggest uppers-on-a-down-day for us both is our dogs. We have 4 - three littles and one big. They are two weenie dogs, Malcolm and Ernest, Mitzi the Mutt (looks like a small Toto), and Lady the Llewellen Setter. They are always so excited when we come in the door. Happy Happy Happy!!! Look who's here!!! It's Mom and Dad! Oh boy a bowl of dog food how WONDERFUL!!! We love you love you love you!!! and then they race around, Malcolm and Ernie howl, and Mitzi jumps on my lap and gives me precious dog hugs with her head against my chest. The day could have been the worst one ever, but when we walk in the door to be greeted by those happy go lucky canines we truly leave our troubles at the doorstep.

[Leah]

I'm in a book group with a bunch of ladies who could be my grandmas. I'm in my mid-20s and they're in their 60s. I love meeting up with them -- they have different ideas and perspectives. Plus, I think they have fun with me. I really enjoy having friends who are a bit different. It also helps when I have big decisions to make, as I can get input from people who know where I've been.

[xtCommerce Templates]

Everyone has something to offer but this article is realy cool. Thanks a lot for sharing.

[Goldentime neuss]

exellent

[Anbieter Vergleich]

great stuff...thx for information. well done

[BMI berechnen]

its strong to find the right information...thx