Want to a Quick, Easy Way to Preserve Happy Memories?

Many of my happiness-project activities are aimed at my resolution to Be a treasure house of happy memories. Studies show that thinking back on happy times elevates mood, and observing and preserving memories is one of the most satisfying ways of bringing order to life.

My mother started a memory-keeping tradition a few years ago that has proved to be a lot of fun.

She bought two matching lined journals, one for each granddaughter. At the end of every visit to Kansas City, my older daughter writes a paragraph about the highlights of our visit, and I write in my younger daughter’s book.

We’ve only been doing it since 2007, but already, we all enjoy looking back at the entries from past visits. It’s astounding how quickly even intense memories fade, and how effectively a brief note reminds us of highlights from the past – the time my daughter fell into the duck pond, the time my father set off the fire alarm when making pancakes, the time when my sister and her husband got locked in the bedroom.

(The fact that these mishaps are highlights proves the Secret of Adulthood that my mother taught me: "The times when things go wrong often make the best memories." Good to keep in mind.)

It’s also interesting to see my older daughter’s handwriting change, and to see how my younger daughter has gone from adding her scribbles to my note to being able to write her name.

Now, is this tradition a bit of a pain? Yes, it is. We procrastinate every visit, and usually end up writing in the notebooks in the last ten minutes before we leave for the airport. But now we all know that we’ll be glad to have the record, later. My mother wisely keeps the bar low -- all she asks for is four or five sentences. The perfect can be the enemy of the good, and if my mother pressed us for something more elaborate, or more neatly done, we might resist more energetically.

The one-sentence journal, the diary of days, and this trip journal are all quick, untaxing ways to keep memories vivid. I wouldn't be able to keep a long, detailed journal, but I can keep up with these other methods.

Have you found any good strategies to help keep happy memories vivid?

* Danielle LaPorte of the excellent White Hot Truth ("because self-realization rocks") was nice enough to do an interview with me. I wasn't surprised when her questions were surprising and thought-provoking.

* If the idea of keeping a one-sentence journal appeals to you, remember, that's one of the Tools in the Happiness Project Toolbox.

Comments

[Jarrett Collins]

Gretchen -- I have tried to keep a journal about 10 different times over the years, with no success. Since I always have my BlackBerry with me (substitute your favorite PDA or smartphone), I now keep an electronic note that is a running list of life "highlights"... it looks something like this:

May 2009 -- Watching my daughter and her 3rd grade classmates, dressed as frogs and playing their recorders, on a rainy spring morning; Taking our dog for a walk along the Brook Path on a beautiful Saturday evening; Hosted a very successful meeting on "project X" at work today... our best yet!

I don't write up these highlights every day, but I can usually keep up in about 1-week increments -- I look at my calendar to remind me of what happened that week -- and I usually have at least a dozen highlights captured by the end of the month.

For the last couple of years, I've printed out all the year's highlights and re-read them on New Years Eve -- a terrific way to appreciate the past year and ring in a new one!

Love your blog... please keep up the great work -- J

[Bucky]

My 88+ year-old mother has kept a journal since she was 16. I can never match that -- nor do I want to try. What I've found is that I use my long-winded e-mails to friends and family as my journal. I include the good, the bad, the yuks, the tears, the events that I've been involved in or that are planned for the future, the latest news of the family, all/everything that's going on with me, and inquiries into what's going on in the recipient's life. When I sit down at the computer, I find I'm literally incapable of writing a short, personal note. My fingers take over and work much faster than my brain can to edit out stuff. Thus, everything goes in. I go through my "sent" folder every week or so and transfer those e-mails to a different folder called "my journal and bits to remember." No editing keeps me honest and makes it more fun to reread entries, knowing that I haven't doctored anything.

[Daryl Furuyama]

That is pretty cool! It isn't much of pain if grandma writes the paragraph and you'll have a book of her memories of you. That would be pretty awesome and exciting for your daughters to bring it to get it signed (kind of like what people do with yearbooks, except more meaningful)

[Travelinoma]

Written memories are a handbook for current challenges. How did we live on less money in our newlywed days? Look it up: 1969. (We played board games and had fondue nights.) How can I entertain 4 little granddaughters all day long? (Remember the play their mothers wrote and the scenery from cardboard boxes?)

Happy memories are a way of counting blessings, discovering that life has been good to us, that we've made it through tough financial times before, that we really love that annoying aunt deep down. Your memory book idea is a good one.

[Positively Present]

What a great idea! I love writing and journals so I really love this idea! Thanks for sharing it.

[Lisa Sullivan]

For the past year or so I have discovered that "blogging" has been my way of journaling. My original blog proved to be inadequate both for expressing myself and documenting the events in my life, so I started another blog just for my children, (devoid of any expletives!). It's so easy to e-mail "posting alerts" to family members, and they all truly enjoy and appreciate the stories and the photos I include!

I am now running 4 blogs, all with their own theme...(or are they running me?!)

I have the photos all ready, and I am about to conjure up my two daughters' "First Day of School" post. (Just as soon as I make my bed!)

LOVE this site...already HAPPY that I stopped by! Will be back!

[Annabel Candy]

A lovely idea. I must update my daughter's baby books and create ones for my older boys. You're right, memories do disappear too fast otherwise. One time, when we were traveling in Central America, I took a car journey as I wanted a family record of just how horrific each journey was. Of course with the journal being taken what was previously a nightmare turned into a laugh:

8.35am - leave
8.57 - Max is hungry
8.58 - Kiara wants the window down
9am - Luke wants it up
9.02 Luke playing super Mario
9.03 Kiara wants to see
9.05 Overtake a car whose bottom is scraping on the road
9.07 Stop to see what the funny noise is on our car.

Seriously, it went on and on like that for hours and everyone loved calling out new things for me to write down. Thanks!

[Ashley]

Gretchen,

Thank you for the reminder to focus on the positive! Like most people I think I have a tendency to focus on the negative things in life and forget to commemorate the positive things--even just daily things like getting a good parking space. This post couldn't have been better-timed for me as I am going through a rough transition in my life and am having trouble staying positive through it. Thanks!

[Sandra]

I have kept a diary since I was 13 years old. Some times more often that others...

It's always amusing and entertaining to go back and read about the wonderful moments in my life. Even reading the bad moments is touching.

I hope to keep up the diary writing for years to come.

[Jack Shapiro]

Hi there,

You can create your own memory project using groups on www.linkory.com.

Contact me if you need any help.

Jack Shapiro - Founder

[deborah d. lattimore]

My sons are now 30 and 29. Since I found out I was pregnant with each of them, I have been keeping journals for each of them. They are now up to about 8 volumes each. During their childhood years, I wrote to them daily, documenting their activities, our family life. As they got older, I documented their favorite jokes, pets, foods, friends, hobbies, teachers, first words, first everythings. In their college years I wrote to them honestly about my sadness, missing them, hating the "empty nest syndrome." Now all these years later, they want everything documented in their books. For quite a long time they would send me e-mails or notes and say, "Please put this in my book." The books are also overflowing with photographs. I've had other members of our family write in the books, especially their grandparents and great-parents when my sons were very young. I went through a year of breast cancer treatment this last year and found great comfort in rereading these books and also discovered a whole new depth of communication with them in these books since I had a close brush with mortality. I feel like when I pass on, my sons will always have me near them--in these books, stacked high.

[Sarah Fain]

Wow, Deborah, that's amazing!! What a beautiful idea and an incredible gift to your kids.

Gretchen-- Inspired by The Happiness Project, several months ago I started keeping a memory book. (I wrote it about it on my blog--http://starfishenvy.typepad.com/starfish-envy/2009/08/the-memory-corner.html-- and actually posted pictures, which is almost beyond my technical skill level!) Now, instead of throwing things like movie tickets in the trash, I put them in my memory book, along with special notes I get from friends and work associates, the gold and silver thumb-prints of my house guests (some people make little pretty designs around their prints, and kids LOVE it), boarding passes, maps, and everything else that would normally get tossed or thrown haphazardly in a box. My book reminds me of all the wonderful things that have happened this year, all the friends I've seen, all the places I've gone, all the fun I've had...

[Sherri]

I just started keeping a daybook after this post and I love it. I stopped keeping a journal long ago and don't really miss it. But I do want a way to remember both the small and big events of my life. This is great! Thanks!

[Tamara Suttle]

Gretchen! I love this idea. How sweet! I'm sending the link to my mother-in-law and will share it also with my counseling clients!

Your blog is lovely and I'll be so disappointed when The Happiness Project ends!

Tamara Suttle
http://www.TamaraSuttle.com
http://www.AllThingsPrivatePractice.com

[Norma Joy]

I started a blog where i just write down things that make me happy, or that I don't want to forget.