What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Twilight, Team Jacob, Simone Weil, and "Real Good."

Teamjacob

I’m a huge fan of Twilight (books and movie) -- a fact about myself that continues to fascinate and puzzle me. Because of my fandom, I spend a little more time reading Twilight-related internet stuff than is strictly efficient.

So one Friday afternoon when I should’ve been working, I was reading about the Twilight panel at Comic-Con, and to my surprise, I found myself hit by a moment of elevation – the exhilarating happy pleasure roused by the spectacle of virtue.

This feeling was inspired by a remark made by Taylor Lautner. For those who don’t follow the Twilight saga, the story features two male characters: Edward (a vampire played by Robert Pattinson) and Jacob (a werewolf played by Taylor Lautner). Fans of Twilight – an infamously passionate group – often describe themselves as members of “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob,” depending on which character appeals to them more.

According the transcript of the panel, when asked about “Dealing with the whole Team Jacob and Team Edward phenomenon,” Lautner answered: “Sometimes it’s hard for me to try and live up to Team Jacob in the right way.”

When I read this, I got a rush of elevation.

Simone Weil observed, “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.”

When I read Taylor Lautner’s statement, I thought – zoikes, this is “real good.” Here’s a seventeen-year-old guy, at the center of the biggest fan frenzy in the last several decades, who has reached a crazy level of fame in the last year, and who is a key actor in what will certainly be one of the most lucrative film franchises in history. What temptations, at every level, would present themselves to such a person?

But he wants to “live up to Team Jacob in the right way.” The more you think about this statement, the more admirable it is. To quote Shakespeare (or Willy Wonka, take your pick), “So shines a good deed in a naughty world.”

Now, I follow Twilight, but not enough to know how Taylor Lautner actually acts; maybe he isn't as well-behaved as this statement suggests. But he's thinking about it.

* The New York Times Magazine’s cover story by Clive Thompson, Is Happiness Catching? is absolutely fascinating. All about how we influence each other – in matters such as smoking, obesity, happiness – in social networks.

* I send out short monthly newsletters that highlight the best of the previous month’s posts to about 27,000 subscribers. If you’d like to sign up, click here or email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (sorry about that weird format – trying to to thwart spammers.) Just write “newsletter” in the subject line. It’s free.


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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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