What Started Me Thinking

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Take Your Time. Especially When You’re in a Hurry.

Hurry

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

A few weeks ago, I posted Eight excellent tips for living that my parents gave me. Soon after, I ran into a friend who said, “I loved the tips your parents gave you. My mother had a great one, too. She always said, ‘When you’re in a hurry, take your time.’”

I thought this sounded like great advice, and now I’m absolutely convinced. Yesterday, as I was rushing to leave my apartment, I ran through the kitchen and pulled out a container of yogurt to gulp down before I left. (I had broken my resolution “Don’t let myself get too hungry.")

Because I was hurrying, I wasn’t careful about pulling out the yogurt, and I knocked over a plastic container of tapioca pudding my husband had left on the shelf. The container fell out, exploded, and tapioca pudding flew all over my shoe, all over the kitchen floor, and splattered back up into the refrigerator. It took me several trips with a sponge to get everything cleaned up. My shoe may never fully recover.

If I hadn’t been in such a hurry, I would have left my apartment much faster.

Looking back, I realize how much hurrying slows me down. I forget to bring my Filofax if I leave in a rush. My husband lost his wallet in a cab because he was running late. Hurrying makes me forget things, drop things, mess up.

I find with email, too, if I have a “Faster, faster, faster!” frame of mind, I answer too quickly. I don’t address every issue raised in the email. I don’t attend carefully enough to who is sending it. I have trouble, later, remembering the exchange. I delete emails I should keep. In the end, rushing consumes more time.

Of course, I don’t want to poke along, either. I’m reminded of Miyamoto Musashi’s observation from A Book of Five Rings: “Speed is not part of the true Way of strategy. Speed implies that things seem fast or slow, according to whether or not they are in rhythm. Whatever the Way, the master of strategy does not appear fast….Of course, slowness is bad. Really skillful people never get out of time, and are always deliberate, and never appear busy.”

So now when I feel myself rushing, I’m going to remind myself, “Wait, I’m in a hurry -- I need to take my time.” Again, the elusive (for me) but ever-important quality of mindfulness!

What about you? Have you found that it helps to take your time when you’re in a hurry?

* Yes, I love time-lapse photography of nature, and here’s a beautiful sunset over a lake. I love it, but it makes me melancholy too, in a pleasant way. I think there’s a Japanese word for that – for the bittersweet beauty of time passing. Anyone know it?

* I'm trying to figure out the level of interest for a book tour. If I did a book event in your town, and you'd come, it would be very helpful if you'd either post a comment below or drop me an email at grubin[at]gretchenrubin[dot com]. (Sorry about the weird format – trying to thwart spammers). Just write "tour" in the subject line, and be sure to include the name of your city! Thanks very much to all the people who already answered; the information is enormously helpful.

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.


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