My Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life

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Happiness and the Visits of a Gazelle.

Gazelle

Several months ago, my book group read a wonderful book, Terrence O’Donnell’s Garden of the Brave in War. Because the book’s introduction compared it to Isak Dinesen’s Out of Africa, I was prompted to re-read Out of Africa, which I hadn’t read in many years (a Secret of Adulthood: the best reading is re-reading). What a staggeringly good book — and all about happiness, in an oblique way.

Since I re-read it, I’ve been haunted by Dinesen’s beautiful, otherworldly description of a period when her household, on a coffee plantation in Kenya, was visited by a gazelle called Lulu (“pearl” in Swahili).

The years in which Lulu and her people came round to my house were the happiest of my life in Africa. For that reason, I came to look upon my acquaintance with the forest antelopes as upon a great boon, and a token of friendship from Africa. All the country was in it, good omens, old covenants, a song….

During my last years in Africa I saw less and less of Lulu and her family. Within the year before I went away I do not think that they ever came. Things had changed, South of my farm land had been given out to farmers and the forest had been cleared there, and houses built.…

Often, very often, in the quiet hours of daybreak, I have dreamed that I have heard Lulu’s clear bell, and in my sleep my heart has run full of joy, I have woken up expecting something very strange and sweet to happen, just now, in a moment.

The visits of a gazelle…

Periods in my life have included gazelles, of one sort or another. Not literal visitations of this kind, but times when a situation gave me a peculiar happiness, for a time, before ending — a situation that, in hindsight, marked a certain era.

The perfect coffee shop across the street from my daughter’s school, with great food, great music, a clean bathroom, great wide tables, and lots of electrical outlets; I spent so many happy hours working there – but it’s closed now. The year my husband and I both worked at the Federal Communications Commission, and whenever we wanted, we could visit each other’s offices during the work day. The first few weeks after each of my daughters was born, when my mother came to stay with us, so that while I was struggling to take care of a newborn, I got to be babied by my own mother.

It’s so hard to appreciate these situations, when they’re happening. It’s so easy to take them for granted and forget how quickly things can change. One object of my happiness project is to recognize and appreciate them when they arise.

* I was thrilled to get a note from GalDesigns telling me that a line from The Happiness Project — “Act the way you want to feel” — had been incorporated into her designs. Just before me was a quotation from Shakespeare, just after me, a quotation from G. K. Chesterton (also a line oft quoted in The Happiness Project), so quite heady company!

* If some ideas from The Happiness Project blog, book, monthly newsletter, or videos have helped you become happier, please consider writing about your experience in the Share Your Experience section. What resolutions did you try? What worked for you? When people read about how your happiness project has made you happier, it will help inspire them to start a happiness project themselves.

  • qconklin

    yes we to need to cherish the gazels in our lives while we have them. This made me think about a few of mine that are missing now. Late nights in coffee shops with friends comes to mind. Thanks for this post. it made me happy this morning.

  • Grace A Lawrence

    Thanks for writing about GalDesigns. Someone clicked and bought ten cards that say Act the Way You Want to Feel. Your message is getting out there and I am $3.20 closer to law school!

    • gretchenrubin

      Excellent!

  • Becky

    Thanks for this article! I am currently escaping the Northeastern winter by spending several weeks with several friends in my home state. It’s been really nice, but I hadn’t quite realized that these days could very well be some of the happiest times of my life. Thank you for the reminder to really notice this joy as I am feeling it.

  • Kreddy

    Just saw your interview on the Women On Writing website. Nice job as always.

  • http://www.blisscovery.com/ Briana

    Oooh, reading this gave me the chills – your own examples are so simple and lovely. I feel inspired too go do some re-reading of my own. And to reflect on the gazelles. Thank you.

  • http://thedynamiclife.wordpress.com/ Hugh

    I’ve never thought of these happiness moments in terms of gazelles, but I do have several that I remember by song. You know when you hear that particular song that takes you back to an event, place, person, or something else? When you hear that song, your memory is so vivid and you are temporarily transported back to that other world. I love it.

  • emd04

    I’ve always meant to read Out of Africa. My mom loved that movie, so I saw it many times growing up (and how great is that John Barry soudntrack?), but I’ve never read the book.
    I gave up book buying for Lent, but this one might have to go on the “to buy after Lent” list.

    • gretchenrubin

      Oh, you are in for a treat. It is so good. Now I want to watch the movie
      again!

  • EscapeVelocity

    And now I’ve had to go reread Randall Jarrell’s poem “Seele im Raum”. Not one of my favorites, really, but definitely comes to mind in this context.

  • Sophie B

    I’ve never seen the movie because I read the book about 50 years ago and never wanted to spoil my images.

    • Rose Ann

      Sophie, Please rent the movie ~ “Out of Africa” you won’t be sorry. It was one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen :) The music ( Mozart ), the lovely photography, Meryl Streep & Robert Redford !!

  • motherteresa

    I’ve always thought it best to read the book before seeing the movie. I did see the movie, but so many years ago, that I do believe reading the book might actually be a delight! I am getting it today from the library and reading it.
    This was such an endearing post to read at 6 am. It just puts me in a happy mood for the entire day! Thanks so much for being you.

  • lindseypetersen

    I have to say I am happy in my life. I look for the good instead of the bad. I roll with the punches. I don’t take things too seriously. I have great kids and a great husband and a great house, (adequate by most standards, but great in that we are not living on the streets.) Life is good!
    Lindsey Petersen
    http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com

  • Rach

    Beautiful post! Thanks for the reminder to cherish happy moments.

  • DavidL31

    This is so true when you think about it. I can’t tell anyone how many times I’ve let a happy moment slip through without realizing it…countless numbers of times.

  • Rose Ann

    We live on a private road, that backs up to a park & even though we don’t have gazelles, we do have splendid white tail deer & wild turkey :) They entertain us every day ~ who needs tv ? I truely believe that these will be some of the best days of my life & I’m enjoying every moment to the fullest.

  • http://cashwithatrueconscience.com/rbblog Ryan Biddulph

    The key to cherishing happy moments is to be in the moment when they occur. When the moment has passed, on to the next. You’ll experience the fullness of the circumstance and won’t feel the need to revisit it, for once it’s gone, it’s gone.

    It’s nice to reminisce but it prevents you from being in the moment, which is all that we have.

    Thanks for sharing your insight :)