My Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life

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“Happiness Is in the Taste, and Not in the Things Themselves…”

La-rochefoucauld

“Happiness is in the taste, and not in the things themselves; we are happy from possessing what we like, not from possessing what others like.”
–La Rochefoucauld

This is a more poetic phrasing of a Secret of Adulthood: What’s fun for other people may not be fun for you — and vice versa.

* A thoughtful reader in Denver sent me this great piece by Emily Brendler Shoff, My own personal happiness project. Wonderful.

* If you haven’t seen the TV ad (yes, TV ad!) for The Happiness Project, check it out here!

  • http://www.thymely-thoughts.blogspot.com Michelle Elisabeth

    Often times, when we witness happy people, we try and figure out what makes them happy. By extension, we sometimes think that if we own the same things/ experiences/ lifestyle, we too will find that happiness. An expensive car may bring one person joy as they love the ride to the destination, but for another, the city bus may do the trick as they find more joy in the destination itself.

  • Lisa

    I have to partially disagree with La Rochefoucauld here, or at least Lacan and some important 20th century psychologists disagree with him. They describe our desire to possess as precisely a wanting to possess what others want to possess. It’s interesting to think whether we can actually be happy possessing what no one else wants. A discussion on desire being a desire for what others desire:
    http://www.pandalous.com/topic/jealousy_and_desire_is

  • Sherry

    Hi Gretchen! I just wanted to stop by and let you know I bought your book this week.

    • gretchenrubin

      Thanks! I hope you enjoy it!

  • http://www.OptimisticJourney.com/ Jarrod @ Optimistic Journey

    This reminds me of how some parents tend to put their children into sports or ballet because that’s the life the parents wanted to live. But since they never got to live that life, they try to “live” it through their kids. The reality ends up being that the parents push the kids and the kids aren’t happy but the parents are. It is true happiness is in the things we possess and not that which others possess. Thanks for sharing, Gretchen!!

  • http://richardshelmerdine.com/blog/ Richard Shelmerdine

    Nice quote there Gretchen!

  • anonymous

    I took the first half of this quote to mean something more along the lines of: happiness is in the idea or essence of a thing, more than the thing itself. The second half (interpreted Gretchen-style) would be a sort of corollary, serving to demonstrate why it’s the idea rather than the object. “Retail therapy” makes a great example. It’s usually not the purse which makes you happy, but the pursuit of the purse and the daydreaming about where and when you can use it. Someone else’s shopping quest is not going to thrill or adequately distract you from your problems, because you’re not in their head. Then later when you’ve come to your senses and realize the purse really isn’t that phenomenal and shouldn’t have spent the money in the first place, you return it. ;-)

  • Grace

    Gretchen, you and your readers may wish to check out this article from the Globe and Mail about Neil Pasrika and his “awesome” blog. Lots of potential happiness in his blog and his book: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/a-few-awesome-things-about-1000awesomethingscoms-neil-pasricha/article1546274/