What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Cultivate Good Smells.

Smellingrose

One of my latest, and favorite, happiness resolutions is to Cultivate good smells.

I'd never thought much about the sense of smell, but after some research -- and just paying more attention -- I realize how critical this sense is to my feelings of vitality and enjoyment.

It's a cliche to "stop and smell the roses," of course, but just an hour ago, I had to make an effort to stop and smell the gardenia plant that my six-year-old and I walked past, on our way home from her kindergarten. The gardenia was sitting on the sidewalk, outside a flower shop, and when I saw it, I had to make the micro-decision: Stop or keep walking? I always hear a voice whispering, "Come on! Get this done! You don't have time for that!" so I had to remind myself, "I have plenty of time for the things that are important to me. The smell of gardenias is one of my very favorite smells. There's time to stop."

My daughter and I stopped. The gardenia smelled lovely. So many flowers have had their scents bred out of them -- so often hyacinths and roses don't smell much -- but not gardenias.

A particular scent can bring back memories with an intensity matched by few other triggers. In the most famous example, Marcel Proust recalled long-forgotten memories when he smelled and tasted a Madeleine biscuit soaked in linden tea; in fact, these kinds of involuntary and vivid rushes of memory evoked by the senses are called “Proustian memories.” Gardenias always remind me of my husband.

In my research, I was interested to learn that my happiness affects my sense of smell -- and vice versa. A person in a good mood perceives a neutral odor (like rubbing alcohol) as more pleasant than a person in a bad mood, and doesn’t become as annoyed by bad smells; at the same time, smelling an enjoyable odor can help alleviate anxiety and increase tolerance for pain.

I’m doing whatever I can think of to eliminate the bad smells and appreciate the good scents in my life, and I've been surprised by how much richness and emotional texture it adds to my ordinary day.

Have you found any interesting ways to have more appreciation for the good smells in your life? Or any ways to eliminate bad smells? I've become much more vigilant about our trash area since I made this resolution.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

* Sally Hogshead wrote a very interesting book, Fascinate: Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion and Captivation -- and she's created a terrific, quick personality test, the F Score, to measure "How are you fascinating?" I can never resist a great personality test.

* Is your book group reading The Happiness Project? (I know a lot of groups were waiting for the paperback release.) I've prepared a one-page discussion guide for book groups, as well as a guide tailored for church groups, prayer circles, spirituality book groups, and the like. If you'd like either discussion guide (or both), email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com. (Don't forget the "1.")

Also, if you'd like free personalized bookplates for your group (or just for yourself or for a gift), email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com, and let me know how many you'd like, what names you need, and your mailing address. I'll mail them anywhere in the world.


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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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