My Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life

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September 8, 2012
17 Comment

Secret of Adulthood: Pay Special Attention to Anything You Try To Hide.

Further Secrets of Adulthood:

 

What do you try to hide? Why?

 

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  • http://www.richmeme.com/ Dennis the ‘Richmeme’

    A question that makes me think for 60 seconds… What I am hiding and Why?

    There’s one thing I hide since teenage (even till now). My family is doing their own business and they are doing quite well. Our family is doing above average as compare to my friends’ families.

    But I tend to “hide” my true identity. I hate to tell others about my family background and how are they doing. For instance, I’d walk 50m away from my school if my parents came to fetch me after school. I just don’t want my friends to know that my parents is driving a better car. In a nutshell, I am always telling people that my family background is just very normal.

    Why would I do that? I really don’t know why. But it just like that. I, myself don’t understand too. But I know I hate when my friends calling me “Rich Kid!” :(

    • John Hankwitz

      I grew up under similar circumstances. You need to realize that the problem lies with others, not you. You have no control over your patents situation, and how others feel about your position is their problem, not yours.

  • Victoria

    A very compelling question. I sometimes hide things I buy…but not for long because I hate dishonesty. I hide them because even though my husband and I are well off as a child I was not. My parents struggled despite being very hardworking. We were a big family and my father though educated and working in his field did not make a huge salary. My parents were very religious (Mom still is) and my father believed in the Catholic doctrine of giving away things you like because others in need, need them more. He also believed accumulating wealth was wrong and gave away money and food to strangers in need at the drop of a hat even though he and my mother certainly did not have it to give. I also sometimes hide the rare ‘low brow’ book I may read. Again my father was also very intellectual and disapproved of junky literature! Last thing… if I eat junk food. I work out a lot, do yoga, eat very well and am slim. On the occasion when friends have seen me wolfing down a bag of chips or drinking a Coke they have made a huge deal out of it. Saying things such as, ‘Wow, I never thought you ever ate junk like that.’ I guess I hide it now because i want to uphold some silly image my friends have. Goofy huh?

  • peninith1

    I just bet you’re not going to get frank answers from those among us who are hiding an extramarital affair, a secret source of income, or stashing a bottle of gin in the back of the linen closet. But what a subject for consideration!

    When I have hidden things, why? As a child I used to pull the covers over my head to ‘hide’ my private musings from my mother. I needed to work hard to protect my mental privacy. And indeed, if I have kept things put away, or quiet, or have refrained from revealing them, it has usually been for privacy’s sake. Not because of a sense of guilt or shame, but out of self-protection. I didn’t want to run the risk of dismissive scorn or judgment, or of becoming the fodder for another’s self-dramatization. It took me quite a long time to recognize that I had a right not to share everything that was going on in my life for a parent’s evaluation and comment. At 65, I still am very aware if I am withholding information about myself. I’m able to do it, and glad to be able to maintain my boundary, but it costs me an effort.

    This taught me, as a parent, that if I stumbled on something my children clearly intended as private, but left unguarded, I might file the knowledge away and be guided by it, but except in a case of immanent harm (which never arose) not to comment on anything I discovered by accident. I also have learned that even in adult-to-adult relationships to use careful judgement about ‘saying what I see’–lest I invade another person’s privacy or comment on something they are not ready to bring into the light. It is not always necessary to comment on everything you know or think you know about another.

    • Victoria

      I loved your comments. You are so right about children’s privacy as well as not revealing too much of ourselves. i am a closet writer. Whenever anyone asks me what I have been up to I never tell them that writing a novel is occupying half my time (if not more). I somehow feel dishonest but there is something about telling people I am writing that makes me feel overly exposed.

  • Doro

    There are two things I like to hide:
    1) Mistakes that I made
    2) Things and books that I care a lot about, because some of my friends tend to tell me their negative opinion about them and then liking them doesn’t feel as awesome as before

    • Hilary

      I completely agree :)

  • @elizabethcraft

    I love that photo! Brings back many memories. What a provocative question….

  • Karbogast

    Very interesting and provocative question!! Yet I would agree, what we hide often reveals A LOT about the person that we are. One thing that I do tend to hide is junk food. I actually eat quite well, exercise frequently, and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle and, when I do indulge in junk food, I honestly feel guilty!! (This is honestly also related to some childhood issues.)
    Another thing would be my love of stuffed animals. As a grown, albeit young (in my early 20s), woman, and one that is otherwise rather serious (I have been referred to as an “old soul”), I sometimes feel silly that I have so many and love them so much. I am not a big “collector” type either, but do love stuffed animals and try not to show that publically.

    • spirit of love

      I’m in my late 30s and still have stuffed animals… I tell people I keep them for visitors with children…and mostly I do, but once in awhile a little cuddle is nice:). Being too serious is overrated…keep your childlike thrills, it will make you more well rounded. Follow your bliss!

  • Not Telling! LOL!

    I think there is a difference between hiding and not telling…as you get older you realise you dont have to tell everything to everyone. If you feel bad because you are hidding something from someone, then that should be addressed with a ‘why’? Otherwise, if you’re ok with it, then thats all that matters. Be your own judgement as to what you are ‘hiding’. Great post.

  • Not Telling! LOL!

    In response to other comments, i too hide things that i dont want people to ‘spoil’

  • Douglas Jose

    The link to the free give-away shows this:
    This form is currently private and cannot be viewed by the public.

  • http://twitter.com/Beariatric Tom Bilcze

    My Shortcomings – It seems easy. Concentrate on the things I excel in and tout that achievement. No one know what I can not do or can not do well. Only me, and that comes back to haunt me at times. I am disappointed in myself in the shortcomings; especially the ones I want to excel in.

  • Anonymous

    One thing I’m hiding right now is the fact that I have been suffering from severe depression for over a decade. My doctor started to catch on and diagnosed me two months ago. Things have been falling apart, with it looking like there’s no end to the mounting problems that keep piling on my plate. I do all that I can to keep appearances in front of friends, family and coworkers, but I even then my mask has begun to slip off at very inopportune times…

    I’ve started taking the steps to get counseling but beyond, doctors and other medical professionals, I haven’t told anyone how it’s keeping me up at night (getting 2 hours maximum a night), not having a normal appetite, and feeling nauseous when I do force myself to eat (I’ve dropped twelve pounds so far the last two weeks), or how I just feel so completely isolated no matter what my surroundings are (they mostly just joke or tell me to get over it if I start to hint at it, so I don’t bother telling them the extent).

    I hide it because very few people understand depression as it is, and my friends have always joked about my problems in the past. Last thing I need to be is told that this is just a phase and to get over it or to get laid (which is another department I have problems with… never been too good with the ladies, but that’s no big secret.), or be looked at as a weirdo for getting treatment or even taking medication for it. The thought of getting caught taking meds for depression is a fear that I really shouldn’t feel, but is one that is creeping up on me right now

    • spirit of love

      Please don’t be embarrassed about taking meds for depression. I used to feel that way…or feel something was seriously wrong with me if I needed to take meds. Then I hit a bottom that I knew inside I wouldn’t know how to come back from without help and said….give me the meds. It helped me pull out of the hole and I had a better attitude and more energy to start building healthy routines and face some of my problems. To this day I’m annoyed that people have a stigma for these drugs! Do what you need to do for you…and that includes loving yourself enough to give yourself the things you need… and when you truly accept and love yourself despite whatever issues you are facing…it will start to seem smaller. Good luck to you…I HAVE BEEN THERE.

  • John Singer

    Another Viennese descendant telling us how it is….wake up people. This ‘social science’ is a 100+ year old sham. Makes you wonder how anyone ever survived previously.

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