My Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life

Want to get the "Moment of Happiness"? A daily happiness quotation in your inbox.   Sign up here close daily quote

January 21, 2013
14 Comment

“The Man Who Is Himself At Ease Can Best Attend to the Distress of Others.”

AdamSmith “The man who is himself at ease can best attend to the distress of others.” –Adam Smith, The Theory of Moral Sentiments

Agree, disagree?

Also ...

  • My daughter showed me these fascinating "genetic portraits" by Ulric Collette, in which the photos of two family members are spliced together, so that you can see the family resemblances.

     

  • According to this piece in the New York Times Book Review, I am "the queen of the self-help memoir." That's right, the QUEEN! Though I would say "self-helpful," not "self-help"--really,  I'd say I'm a moral essayist, but that sounds so dull.

Tags: , ,

Other posts you might be interested in...

  1. Happiness quotation from Adam Smith.
  2. “My Experience Is What I Agree To Attend To.”
  3. “We Have All a Better Guide in Ourselves…Than Any Other Person Can Be.”
  4. “The True Effect of Genuine Politeness Seems To Be Rather Ease than Pleasure.”
  5. Who knew? There are two kinds of stress: distress and eustress.
  • Annelies

    I feel a little bit stupid but I do not really understand this

  • peninith1

    ‘At ease’ can mean both ‘comfortable within oneself’ or ‘in comfortable circumstances.’ Either way, if you feel that you ARE enough or HAVE enough, you feel more able to be giving than if you are being ruled by a sense of emotional, physical, social or financial insecurity. I would say that of all these, financial ‘lack’ is the least important or powerful reason not to be ‘at ease’ and be generous. From the widow who freely gave her ‘mite’ to people in our own time who have managed to give major donations to charity out of slender means, people who have a generous and abundant spirit have found themselves ‘at ease’ enough to make a big difference in the world.

  • Sarah Rixom

    I agree. But I think being “at ease with [yourself]” is only part of the story. Having self-knowledge is another important component if you are genuinely going to attend to the distress of others. If you make a constant effort to be aware of how you’re own insecurities and identity influence a situation, then you can attend to the distress of others without your them unhelpfully hijacking your response to the moment. None of us are perfect and if we are to be emotionally present when someone needs us, we need to get comfortable with our own imperfection without absolving ourselves of responsibility for it. Those are my two cents on the subject.

    • peninith1

      Your awareness is also important in what you choose–I am often distressed to see people who have NOT attended to their own feelings that their vulnerability has not been addressed or was violated projecting that onto animals and children in an obsessive and not always very helpful way. I’m not saying it’s wrong to do good things for animals and children, but that it’s better to do those things in a state of full consciousness and having taken care of the hole in your own heart. I’m sure the same applies to other causes, but those spring to mind.

  • Grandma Honey

    It’s often on days when I am having some kind of pain that I think to call others who are sick or hurting too. When comfortable and all is well, I tend to be a bit more self distracted. Also, looking back, when I have needed help from others, it’s often those who are also suffering from something who come to my rescue.

  • Nancy Rivera

    I just wanted to tell you that I just finished reading Happier at Home (pretend that title is underlined – I don’t know how to do it here). I loved it and couldn’t put it down. I also loved The Happiness Project (underlined as well). They are so realistically inspiring! I recommend them to everybody.

    Also I agree with the Adam Smith quote. You really can’t help anyone unless you are on higher ground – emotionally, physically, financially depending on the help that is needed. I think people are also more willing to help (looking for opportunities to help ) when they are at ease.

  • Theresa

    I like quotes but have to admit to being disappointed with how frequently they are appearing on your blog. Your original articles and insight about happiness are what drew me to the blog in the beginning. I feel that relating some of these quotes to happiness is getting to be a long shot. Please post more of your thoughts and ideas relating to happiness!

  • http://www.changegangs.com/ Sharon Lipinski

    Agree. Other people react to our presence. A easy, calm, secure presence communicates that we are worthy of trust. We can be a rock in the storm. Knowing there is someone who can be trusted can do wonders for easing distress.

  • Phoebe Heyman

    I like this quotation a lot and definitely agree.

    I sometimes have a harder time relating to the kind of happiness quotation that describes the qualities of happy person, because it can sometimes be difficult to think of how to access that quality. I like this one, however, because it is a good example of one of the benefits of happiness (it makes you better at helping others) that can be motivating and inspiring.

    I love “moral essayist” and “self-helpful” – I don’t think the former is too dull!

  • Lisa Y

    I used to feel guilty if I didn’t “join in” someone’s anxiety or low mood because it felt wrong to stay in a calm and “ok” mind set if someone I care about is troubled. However I have come to learn that I am best able to help when I am a bit above the fray.

  • therufs

    Kind of takes the mickey out of, I don’t know, the civil rights movement, doesn’t it?

  • http://www.lifewhack.com/ Peter Ewin Hall

    I think people respond to imperfection and humanness, someone who can empathize.

  • Steven

    I read this as ‘once you have put your own house in order, you are then in the best position to help others’, and I totally agree. The best help comes from those who’ve been there and been able to move on.

  • Lillian

    It’s exactly the “put your oxygen mask on first” theory…you’re no good to anyone until you are good with yourself.

« Previous Next »