My Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life

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February 18, 2013
20 Comment

Secrets of Adulthood: Think More About Yourself So You Can Forget About Yourself.

Further Secrets of Adulthood:

ThinkMoreAboutYourself_124732

 

Agree, disagree?

Also ...

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  • http://www.100memoirs.wordpress.com/ Shirley Hershey Showalter

    If this statement means think about yourself as in reflect, ponder, forgive, and learn then yes!

  • Emilie Davidson

    When I read this, it made me think of making sure I have what I need for the day/week so I can forget about those things the rest of the time. For example, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, remembering to pack a lunch/snack, packing a book so I don’t get cranky if I have to wait somewhere, or packing a jacket so I don’t leave a group activity early just because I am freezing (I’m always cold). I think knowing myself and planning ahead allow me to have better days, focus on others, and be more productive.

  • http://www.facebook.com/elibbybeth Libby Moore

    When you’re on an airplane hearing the safety procedures, they say put your own air mask on first before you help others with theirs. If I take think more of myself (take care of myself first), then I can forget about myself (which for me means being other minded…taking care of my kids/husband in specifically).

  • Kat

    I agree – I think a lot of us put other people first (children, partners, elderly relatives) so much that we forget about ourselves first, meaning we end up tired, eating junk food, not getting time to do the things that make us happy. Forgetting yourself in this way over a long period makes you grumpy, resentful and negative to be around. If we think about ourselves more the resentment and negative feelings won’t build up and we’ll be able to forget about the things that drag us down, ultimately making us better people and more effective in what we do. I’m sure I will be able to remember this..!

  • http://twitter.com/larryport Larry Port

    I think it’s an attempt to be pithy with little or no meaning.

  • Carrie Willard

    Yes, so I solve this by washing my face early and brushing after dinner, which also prevents late snacking. I lost weight without changing anything else doing this!

    • Carrie Willard

      Argh, this was meant for the post about getting ready for bed.

  • My family is not broken

    I believe if we “take care of our houses, ourselves” we can move onto more important things. We need to get into our best selves emotionally financially and physically to focus on more important things If we are clouded by our own crap we can’t see past it to get to the good and important stuff.

  • Douglas Peacock

    Depends! The trouble with being a human being is that you cannot see yourself, albeit that you know how you feel. Same applies to others, thus encouraging communication between each other. I tend to learn more about myself from communicating with other people. After such communication you have something to think about and less to worry about! Communicate enough, positively for the good of each other, and you can forget about yourself! On the other hand, If I just think about myself, without communicating, I tend to end up doing a lot of thinking, not to mention learning when I next communicate!

  • Diana Price

    If I read “more” to be “more highly of” then I completely agree. If I thought more highly of myself, I would not spend so much time worrying about what I said, how I said it, what I did, how I did it, and how everyone else perceived it to be. I could just move on.
    wonderwomananew.blogspot.com

  • HEHink

    One of the things I like about The Happiness Project is how strongly it encourages self-awareness – which is very different from self-centeredness. I think this Secret of Adulthood speaks to that. When we take the time to think about what we like and need, as well as what causes problems or discomfort for us, we can then take action to make what we need available to ourselves on a consistent basis, or to find solutions to persistent problems. Once we have done that, we no longer have to spend so much time making decisions about ourselves, or dealing with the same problem every day. This frees us to be more productive in meeting other goals, or to focus more on others’ needs.

    • peninith1

      perfect take on this aphorism! Thanks for making an apparent conundrum so clear!

      • molly

        Yes, I agree! Nice distinction. I am going to put it in my notes:)

        • HEHink

          Wow, thank you both for the positives!

  • Douglas Peacock

    I prefer what I perceive, rightly or wrongly, to be a close cousin to this statement “You cannot love others until you love yourself”. I cannot forget about myself until I am at one with myself. The more that I think about myself increases the possibility of offending others, which would put me at difference with myself. So, no, I have to disagree. I can see what the statement is asserting, but, technically, you would have to go to “Think totally about yourself to forget about yourself” and, to my mind, the statement would crash before you got there!

  • http://www.facebook.com/colleen.morris.161 Colleen Morris

    Yes I totallly agree. As a younger woman struggling with twin babies, a work-a-holic husband and undiagnosed depression I became critically unwell. It took me the next 15 years to really be healthy and happy. One of the secrets I had to learn and now share with many of my clients in my counselling practice is the importance of self-care. If you don’t make self-care a priority then you have nothing to give your family or friends. So it is true, when you think more about yourself – your own needs and wants – and attend to these, you actually have pleanty of space and energy left to share with the people in your life.

  • Terry Insinga

    To me, this means that if I take care of the physical and emotional needs that are the most important to my unique body and soul, then I will be more “available” physically and emotionally to meet other people’s needs. For example, if I’m exhausted one day, then I’m not available to help someone else. Also, if I’m feeling bored or over-worked, then I will be resentful while helping someone and they will sense that. Not a good thing.

  • Natalie

    This really rings true to me! Thanks for sharing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tara.volpe Tara Volpe Foos

    Truer words have never been blogged…

  • Emily Star Wilkens

    Agree! A wonderful line from Mary Oliver’s poem, To Begin With, the Sweet Grass, says, And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know? Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.

    Self-care and loving yourself is really important to loving and serving others.

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