What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

19 posts categorized "Memories"

Bluebird of Happiness, Pigeon of Discontent...and the Chicken of Depression.

My father is a huge fan of Gary Larson's brilliant The Far Side cartoons, and for years, each Christmas, we'd give him the Page-a-Day Far Side calendar. He kept the calendar on his desk at work, and when one cartoon was especially good, he'd bring it home to show us.

So when a thoughtful reader sent me this very appropriate Far Side, it not only made me laugh but also brought back many happy memories from childhood.

FarsideBluebirdhappiness

* I love exploring Melanie Blodgett's blog, You Are My Fave. So much to see.

* Want to get my free monthly newsletter? It highlights the best of the month’s material from the blog and the Facebook Page. Sign up here or email me at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com.

Do You Think About "Self-Curation"?

Bookopen

I read an excellent novel this weekend, Dana Spiotta's Stone Arabia. Like any good novel, it's about many things, but in particular, it made me think about the issue of self-curation.

In his "Chronicles," the character Nik elaborately archives his work in music and an alternate autobiography. He tells his sister Denise, "Self-curate or disappear."

As I was reading, I realized: I suffer from archive anxiety. Partly about my actual life, which is why I've adopted resolutions such as Keep a one-sentence journal and Suffer for fifteen minutes. They help me chronicle my life.

But for me, the greater worry is the archiving and curation of my observations -- not my actual life, but my intellectual life. Even though taking notes on my reading and thinking is one of my favorite things to do, it's also burdensome: it takes up a lot of time, and I worry about whether I'll be able to find what I want later and whether I'm making good use of my materials. So much wonderful material! I want to write book after book after book, to think it all through.

Reading Stone Arabia has made me consider this theme of "self-curation" in a different light.

I need to think about this more.

How about you? Do you "self-curate"? What steps do you take to preserve memories, to catalog memorabilia, to leave a record of your life, thoughts, experiences, and to review it? Do you do it for yourself, or with an eye to an audience? Do you feel the need to curate anyone else's history?

* Check out the Pop vs. Soda map that shows, county by county, the most commonly used term for "soft drink": pop, Coke, soda, or "other."

* Join the happiness conversation on Facebook or on Twitter (@gretchenrubin). Lots of interesting discussion there.

Call Up Past Memories.

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month’s theme is Neighborhood, and last week’s resolution was to Be a tourist in your own city. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This week’s resolution is to Call up past memories.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Do you have happy memories of a place associated with your grandparents?
6 tips for keeping happy memories vivid.

How about you? Do you find yourself recalling important moments from your past as you move around the place where you live?

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

To get the audio podcast of the video:
-- Log in to iTunes
-- Go to “Podcasts”
-- Search for “The Happiness Project.” Free, of course.

"He Was Like a Man Owning a Piece of Ground in Which...a Treasure Lay Buried."

Delacroix

"He was like a man owning a piece of ground in which, unknown to himself, a treasure lay buried. You would not call such a man rich, neither would I call happy the man who is so without realizing it."
-- Eugene Delacroix, Journal

This quotation reminds me of the Fourth Splendid Truth: I'm not happy unless I think I'm happy. (This Splendid Truth is more important than it appears at first glance -- I remind myself constantly to keep it in mind.)

* I felt a rush of glee when I saw the headline of this book review in the New York Times: "The Unhappiness Project." It has nothing to do with my book, but thrilling to see a riff on my book title.

* Join the discussion on Facebook -- lots of interesting conversation about happiness there. Or on Twitter! (@gretchenrubin).

Suffer...for Fifteen Minutes.

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month’s theme is Time. Last week’s resolution was to Re-evaluate your mantras. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This week’s resolution is to Suffer for fifteen minutes.

Suffer_for_15_minutes.MP3_for_Audio_Podcasting


If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Do you have trouble sticking to your resolutions? Turns out it really does matter.
Get rid of things that don't work.
Photographs make me happy, but they're also making me miserable. (Notice that this post was from three years ago.)

Have you ever had a similar experience -- having a task so huge and daunting that you just couldn't bear to begin it? What strategy did you use finally to tackle it? And am I the only one who has been haunted by my gigantic archives of digital photos?

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* I loved seeing this video -- after a fan yells out "I learned to play guitar on that song!" Paul Simon asks her to come up on stage to play it. Look at her hands shake when she's first up there! And then she plays so well.

That video make me very happy, and it also reminded me of one of my all-time favorite videos: Funny or Die's video of Jewel singing karaoke in disguise.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

To get the audio podcast of the video:
-- Log in to iTunes
-- Go to “Podcasts”
-- Search for “The Happiness Project.” Free, of course.

Make the Most of Your Photographs.

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month’s theme is Memories, and last week’s resolution was to Keep a file box. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This week’s resolution is to Make the most of your photographs.

Make_the_most_of_your_photographs_Podcast


If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Photographs make me happy, but they're also making miserable.
Need a simple way to boost your mood in one minute? Look at a photo of someone you love.
Six tips for using mementos to keep happy memories vivid.

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* If you like a good questionnaire, you'll find a lot of terrific happiness-related questionnaires on the Authentic Happiness site.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

To get the audio podcast of the video:
-- Log in to iTunes
-- Go to “Podcasts”
-- Search for “The Happiness Project.” Free, of course.

Keep a File Box.

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month’s theme is Memories, and last week’s resolution was to Keep a milestone book. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This week’s resolution is to Keep a file box.

Keep_a_file_box_Podcast


If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
In which I solve an annoying problem: what to do with those childhood keepsake papers?
Six tips for using mementos to keep happy memories vivid.

How about you? Have you figured out any quick, easy ways to organize mementos? I'm always looking for new suggestions.

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* I had a lot of fun checking out the "spontaneous smiley faces" on the site, called, appropriately enough, Spontaneous Smiley Face. Find smiley faces everywhere.

* Remember, now you can get the happiness-challenge videos in the form of an audio podcast on iTunes. To get the audio podcast of the video:
-- Log in to iTunes
-- Go to “Podcasts”
-- Search for “The Happiness Project.” Free, of course.

Or subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

Video: Keep a Milestone Journal. (Or a Milestone Book.)

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month’s theme is Memories. Last week’s resolution was to Keep a one-sentence journal. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This week’s resolution is to Keep a milestone journal.

You'll notice that I accidentally switch back and forth in terminology -- calling it a "milestone journal" and a "milestone book." Which phrase has a better ring? Or can you think of a better term, altogether?

I'm now offering the videos in podcast form now (well, at least I'm trying.) I hope to figure out a more attractive way to include this podcast code, necessary for loading into iTunes, but bear with me for now -- also, soon I'll provide the information on where to find the podcasts on iTunes.

Keep_a_milestone_journal.MP3_for_Audio_Podcasting


If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
A new, quick, easy way to keep a non-journal.
6 tips for using mementos to keep happy memories vivid.
8 tips for sparking your creativity.

Have you found any manageable, satisfying ways to keep happy memories vivid? Do you keep anything like a milestone journal yourself?

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* I'm so happy for my friend, the brilliant, hilarious Debbie Stier. Her fabulous new site, Perfect Score Project, has just launched -- "a site dedicated to achieving the perfect SAT scores (or at least to having fun trying). If I'm lucky, I'll learn something by walking a mile in my teenage son's shoes." Thankfully, my life is for the moment SAT-free, but I visit this site just because it's so fun.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

Video: Keep a One-Sentence Journal.

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! Last month's theme was Body, and last week’s resolution was to Manage pain. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This month’s theme is Memories, and this week’s resolution is to Keep a one-sentence journal.

Now, this week, I'm starting something new -- I'm posting my audio and video to iTunes, so if you want to get the material that way, you can. Now, bear with me, because I anticipate some glitches while I try to get this to work properly. But here goes...

Listen to the Audio

Subscribe on iTunes

Once I've actually put this material there, I'll be able to provide better directions about how to find my material on iTunes. Though you should be able to search by "The Happiness Project" there, if nothing else.

Wish me luck! Report any problems you face.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Why I started keeping a daily "one-sentence journal" (ok, a not-quite daily journal).
6 tips for using mementos to keep happy memories vivid.
Want a quick, easy way to preserve happy memories?

Have you found any manageable, effective ways to keep happy memories vivid? It's so valuable -- and yet trying to keep up with preserving memories can be very overwhelming. (I've been waging a fierce effort to deal with my digital photos.) And I never want my urge to memorialize to displace my experience of the moment when it's actually happening.

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* I got a big kick out of seeing that Yale Law School, my alma mater, is keeping a happiness-boosting puppy, Monty, in the library so that people can get some stress-reducing playtime with a dog. It's not surprising to me that the school would experiment with something like this -- YLS is a happy place, especially for a law school.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

8 Tips to Beat Holiday Stress.

Cookiesmiling

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: eight tips to beat holiday stress.

'Tis the season to be jolly -- and also stressed out. If you're feeling irritable, rushed, resentful, lonely, or overwhelmed, keep these strategies in mind to help boost your happiness:

1. Get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major disturber of people’s moods. Jet lag, traveling, parties, and over-excited children all make it hard to get your usual number of hours. Making an effort to get to bed at a decent hour really pays off.

2. Exercise. Studies show that one of the quickest and surest ways to boost your mood is to exercise. If you’re away from home and can’t do your usual routine, even a short walk will help. Even better, exercise outside, where the sunlight will help improve your mood and focus.

3. Stay in control of your eating. It seems to me that guilt about holiday binging is a major source of the blues. As an abstainer (as opposed to a moderator), I've decided that I won't have even one sweet during December. It’s easier for me to abstain altogether than to be temperate. It may seem Scrooge-ish not to have gingerbread cookies or bites of a Winstead’s Frosty, but I'm happier when I'm not worrying about it.

4. Take your time; plan ahead. Hurrying to pack, rushing through stores, sprinting to make a flight – these are sure to put you in a bad mood. Try to give yourself plenty of time to do what you need to do.

5. Learn from the past. What has made you unhappy in years of old? Think back. Avoid your triggers. Stay out of the kitchen, stay out of the mall, stay away from Uncle Billy – sometimes there’s a weird triumphant satisfaction in getting worked up, yet again, by a particular situation. Don’t do it! Don’t expose yourself to known happiness risks.

6. Make time for real fun. Sometimes holiday vacations, which are supposed to be “fun,” are actually a huge hassle. Figure out ways to have fun. In my family, we decided to reduce gift-giving. All the adults “draw” for each other’s names, and we each buy stocking presents for just one other person. Also, include time for things YOU like to do: going to a movie, taking a nap while everyone else goes skating, going to the gym. I plan to spend a lot of time drinking coffee with my sister.

7. Behave yourself! If you sulk, snap, tease, or shirk, you’re not going to feel happy. It may feel good, but only for a moment. Then you’re going to feel bad. Instead, try to help out, bite your tongue, clean up, or run to the store. Look for opportunities to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” or “This is fine,” or “What should I be doing?” Do good, feel good—this really works! The way we act shapes the way we feel, so if you act in an affectionate, thoughtful way, you’ll feel more affectionate and thoughtful.

8. Fill your heart with love. My Twelfth Personal Commandment is “There is only love.” If you’re heading into a difficult situation, take a moment to fill your heart with love. Think of all the reasons that you’re grateful to your family and friends, and the happy memories you’ve shared, and how things might look from other people's perspectives. This can be hard to do, but it will make you happier. And if you’re happy, you’re going to be better able to make other people happy. That is the mystery of the Second Splendid Truth.

Holidays are supposed to be a time of peace, love, and fun -- and we can't bicker, complain, and nag our way there. Figure out what YOU need to do to keep a holiday spirit. Number One on my personal list: everyone must GET ENOUGH SLEEP.

What stresses you out during the holidays? What do you do to keep yourself feeling calm and light-hearted?

* I love looking at book jackets, and I really enjoyed this post with the 25 outstanding book covers of 2010.

* Want to get my free monthly newsletter? It highlights the best of the month’s material from the blog and the Facebook Page. Sign up here or email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com. Just write “newsletter” in the subject line. More than 50,000 people get it.

Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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