The Happiness Project

Vacation time: Six tips for enjoying a vacation that I learned on my recent trip.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Six tips for enjoying a vacation that I learned on my recent trip.

One of my goals for my Happiness Project is to do a better job of learning from experience. How can I do things better, next time? Also, one of my Twelve Commandments is to “Identify the problem,” so I’m trying to be more mindful as I have experiences, so I can take steps to make myself happier, in the moment.

Here are some tips from my recent family trip to Denmark:

1. Start packing early. I made the odious task of packing for myself and my two daughters easier by starting a week in advance (the Big Man packed at 10 pm the night before we left). I brought the big suitcase into my bedroom, and whenever I thought of something (sunscreen, passports, adapter) I put it in. However, if you start packing early, you must…

2. Keep a list. I didn’t, and that was a mistake. Because I was packing over the course of the week, by the end, I’d forgotten what I’d already put in. Had I packed the bathing suits, or not? In the end, I forgot to pack any socks for myself. I’d thought about doing it so many times, but I’d never actually done it. So make a list and check things off. This is a good idea, anyway.

3. Spend money where it helps. I was in utter bliss because I bought a new large backpack to use as my plane bag, which, because I was traveling with my kids, weighed about 100 pounds. Several years ago, my mother gave me a large, attractive bag to use as a plane bag, and I’ve used it ever since. But on my last trip, I realized: I would much prefer to use a backpack, that I could wear comfortably on my back, than to carry a heavy bag that pulls on one shoulder. I looked a bit silly, but I didn’t care.

4. Pack almonds. Several months ago, on a family trip with my in-laws, I realized that my periodic bouts of crabbiness were related to hunger. I seem to get hungry much more often than most adults, and I’m also a very picky eater. For this trip, I packed a bag of almonds, and it made a huge difference in being able to maintain my mood. Almonds made a great travel snack, because they’re light, don’t crumble, don’t stain, don’t need preparation, and are filling and nutritious. The one downside: it’s tempting to eat the entire bag at one sitting. I had to use some self-control to keep the bag going for the whole trip.

5. Return a day early. When I was growing up, we always returned from trips at the last minute, to eke out as much time as possible at whatever place we were visiting. But my in-laws plan their trips differently, and I’ve converted to their approach: they build in a re-entry day. On this trip, we came back on Saturday, so we had a day to sleep late, do errands, catch up on mail and email, re-stock the fridge, etc. The re-entry day made the trip shorter, but it made the overall vacation experience more enjoyable. It’s no fun to go away for a relaxing week, but then find yourself stressed out again a few hours after you’re back at home.

6. Unpack right away. The Big Man is adamant about this. The last thing I felt like doing when we arrived home from a week away was to tackle the unpacking, but he was right, we both felt much better when we’d put that task behind us. It made it a lot easier to unwind and enjoy being home.

What else? What have you learned about how to approach trips so that they’re more fun?

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What I learned on my summer vacation – lesson #2

Lesson #2 was “Let it go.”

I’m a person who likes to have a schedule. I’m never tardy (in fact, the Big Man and I are almost pathologically prompt; even when we try to be fashionably late, we end up places right on time).

On our trip, however, the schedule didn’t run like clockwork. Part of it was the large number of children involved (between six and ten at different times, ranging from 9 years to 18 months). Someone once told me that if you’re trying to go from place to another, add ten minutes for each additional child – which would mean that if it would take the Big Man and I together ten minutes to leave for dinner, I should leave thirty minutes. I’m not sure that this formula actually works precisely, but the presence of so many kids definitely meant that took more effort to get going.

Also, people have different notions of what it means to say, “Let’s eat at 6:30.”

I found myself getting alternately anxious and annoyed when we found ourselves running late, or we didn’t leave at the particular time we’d discussed, or when we seemed to be milling about without direction. Time zone change or not, I got panicky when I realized that both my children were still awake at 11:00 at night.

Before long, however, my happiness-project training kicked in. I told myself, “We’re not in any rush,” “We have plenty of time,” “We’re having fun.” I reminded myself of some of my Twelve Commandments: “Let it go [the strict schedule]” and “Lighten up” and “Enjoy the process.”

I realized that fussing about it wouldn’t make a difference, except to dim other people’s fun in the trip. Including my own. Once I let go of my tendency to stick to a strict schedule, I felt much happier.

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I’ve started sending out short monthly newsletters that will highlight the best of the previous month’s posts. If you’d like to sign up, click on the link in the upper-right-hand corner of my blog. Or just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than “newsletter” in the subject line. I’ll add your name to the list.